Boy, was I wrong
by peridot1
Summary: (J/D) COMPLETE!! Josh and Donna get closer and realize their feelings for each other but then something unthinkable happens....
1. Default Chapter

Author              : Peridot

E-mail Add.      : sm_peridot@hotmail.com

Title                  : Boy, was I wrong. Part 1

Character         : Josh and Donna

Category          : Angst/Romance/Drama

Pairing              : Josh/Donna

Rating               : R

Spoiler             : End of Season 1 and beginning of Season 2

Disclaimer        : None of these characters belong to me….They are from NBC's THE WEST WING…

Summary          : Josh and Donna realize their feelings for each other when Donna takes care of Josh after the shooting….and then something unthinkable happens.

Author's note   : I know, this story starts from a long ago and you guys might even have forgotten the shooting, but hey, I've only just got the inspiration and the  time. By the way, this is my first fan fiction ever and I'd love to get feedback. The POV of this story alternates between Josh and Donna. I've completed the story, but I'll be posting a few parts at a time. So I hope to get reviews and feedback in the mean time.

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It is the first day Josh was back home since the shooting. His mom had just left early this morning. He was rather quiet on the drive back home. He didn't look that tired but he had a blank look on his face. I kept him company the whole day, and he was only slightly responsive. I unpacked his bag, made him lunch and cleaned his apartment. I had come quite often to his apartment to clean it when he was in the hospital. So the apartment was already pretty clean and organized before Josh came in.  
  


"The place is clean. I expected piles of dust in the corner and cob webs." Josh said showing a bit of life in him.

I was quite for a few seconds, hoping Josh is slowly getting back to normal, becoming the old Josh again. Then I realize I should say something.

"Yeah, I cleaned up a few times when I came to pick up some clothes for you." I said while Josh opened the fridge. "Wow, there's food in here. I hope it hasn't been here since the……" Josh didn't continue the sentence as I quickly said , "Yeah, I bought some groceries this morning."

Just then, I felt Josh staring at me while I was making us sandwiches. I knew he was looking at me but I didn't look back up. I don't know why. I think I would be lost in his eyes if I were to look at him right now and I wouldn't be able to turn away. Why is that? I have no idea. Why am I suddenly so nervous? Well, probably because I didn't expect to be making sandwiches in my boss's apartment who happens to be the Deputy Chief of Staff.

************************************************

What would I do without Donna? I'm looking at her making sandwiches and I feel like I'm looking at the most gorgeous person in the world. Did I say gorgeous? I meant efficient. 

"Thank you Donna. For everything." I said slowly which finally made her look up at me.

She looked like she had tears in her eyes. Her eyes were glowing. She then gave me a half smile.

"Yeah, hope you finally know how valuable I am now. I'm expecting a big raise when you come back to work you know," Donna said smiling more cheekily this time.

"You are not 'that' valuable Donnatella," I said whispering in her ear. God, she smells good. I mean, she smells clean and fresh like most women.

************************************************

What is he doing to me? Maybe it's just ticklish when he whispered in my ear. Or maybe it's the summersault my stomach does when he calls me Donnatella. Why is that? 

It was almost 8pm when I told Josh I should be leaving.  "Do you need anything else? I'll go to your office and get everything settled there tomorrow morning. I'll come back here after that."

"Don't leave Donna. Would you stay here with me? You could stay in the guest room."

His eyes looked as though he was pleading. How could I say no to that puppy dog eyes? 

"Sure Josh. I'll just go home and get some clothes and stuff I may need." I said. The reward I got for that was priceless. Josh gave me a complete smile with dimples and all. This was the first time he gave me this smile since the shooting. Heck, this the first time he gave this smile to anyone.

I stayed with Josh the next few weeks while he recovered. I cooked, cleaned and helped him move around when he was still in physical pain. I also settled things in the office and brought back the work Josh needed to do at home. I also did the usual Deputy Deputy Chief Of Staff work in Josh's apartment. 

One night, I heard Josh screaming from his bedroom. "God, no no!!"  I quickly ran into his room and saw him shaking violently on his bed and sreaming.

"Josh, wake up. It's just a dream. Wake up!!" I shook him. Finally his eyes opened and they were soaked. When he saw me he lugged onto me and I help him as tight as I could, I was half sitting, half laying on his bed, which is quite an uncomfortable position. But Josh in my arms felt so good.

"It's okay Josh, I'm here. Ssshhhh." He was hugging my waist and placing he head on my chest and sobbed quietly. While I hugged his back and stroked his hair gentle. I kissed his head. I wanted to do much more. I wanted to kiss him, and not in a platonic way. Why am I feeling this while Josh is miserable and scared? 

I stayed with Josh holding him until he fell asleep. I went back to the guestroom as I couldn't stay there any longer. I longed to be with him. It ache thinking of him being under the same roof, yet being so far from him. 

I realize that I have strong feelings for Josh but never in the romantic kinda way. However, when I was in the hospital, I felt as though my life was falling apart. I questioned my true feelings for Josh. Was I in love with him? I decided I couldn't think of that while Josh was lying there on the hospital bed. So, I just kept my feelings aside.

But now, my feelings for Josh just seem to grow. It's possible it's just a temporary feeling because I thought I was going to loose him, or maybe because I'm spending so much time with him outside the office. Oh well, I guess I just have to get over this feeling. 

********************************************

I got up this morning this morning hoping I would see Donna next to me. Why did I want that?  Of course she had to leave after I fell asleep, it would be silly of her to have slept on my bed with me, not to mention inappropriate.  But still I wished she did. I went to the kitchen, and saw her making breakfast.

"Hey, sleepy head. Want some eggs?" Donna said chirpily. How the hell does this woman be chirpy first thing in the morning?

"Sure. Donna…..sorry about last night. I hope I didn't ruin your sleep." I said scratching the back of my neck.

"It's not a problem Joshua. Did you sleep well after that?"

Oh dear. My stomach did a summersault when she called me Joshua. Of course I slept well being in Donna Moss's arms. 

"Yup." That's all I manage to say being. 

I watched her the whole day. I love the way she kept chattering about the crisis in Mexico, the President's speech in Manchester that day, rocky road ice-cream and the annoying ink on newspaper prints. Yes, this woman has the amazing ability to talk about complete different topics at the same time. She never ceases to amaze me. That's why I love her. In a completely platonic way of course. 

That night I was watching 'Politically Incorrect' when I almost died from a heart attack. Don't worry, I wasn't shot again or anything. Donna Moss came out from her room, wearing just a large T-shirt. She came casually sitting next to me on the couch as if nothing was abnormal. I tried not to look her way, as I felt I might be loss of words, which would be a big bruise on my ego which was just getting back to its normal size. 

"Josh, do you have to watch this? I mean your whole life is politics. Why not do something different when you are relaxing at home?" Donna said, grabbing the remote out of my hands forcing me to look at her.

"Fine, whatever," was all I managed to mumble looking at her. I notice that the T-shirt was actually a nightshirt as it had a picture of bunnies or rabbits. So, Donna Moss wasn't trying to seduce me by being half naked. Not that I thought she was. Not that I would mind if she did. Oh god, I'm fantasizing about assistant. This can't be good. Stop it Joshua. Come back to the real world. I tortured myself the whole night trying not to look at Donna and concentrate on what's on the television. 

We had many nights like this. We also had many nights where she had to come to my room to comfort me during my nightmares. She would hold me for hours until I fell asleep. I don't think anyone else in the world besides my mom would do that for me. I don't think anyone else in the whole world would make me feel the way Donna does. 

**********************************************

Josh was becoming more distant by the day. I started getting so worried. He was recovering physically better that expected and the nightmares have stopped. However, he barely looks at me now. He talks and we have resumed our bantering like before but he sometimes doesn't look at me at all. He never maintains eye contact and sometimes brushes me off for no good reason.  So, I figured he could use some fun. 

I called CJ, Sam and Toby to come by to Josh's place to basically hang out. It was a Saturday night. They were all more that willing as they would not miss any opportunity to drink and annoy each other.

******************************************

I was sitting at home waiting for Donna to come home from the office. I have started thinking of my apartment as Donna's home as well. I should stop doing that. She's not going to be here forever. She's not even going to be here for another week. God, how am I going to deal with that. Maybe it'll be better when she's gone. Maybe I'll stop feeling how I feel about her now if she's not, u know, practically living with me. I heard a Donna come in. I also heard a few familiar voices as well. 

"Hey, Josh. You didn't think you could hide from us just because you aren't at the office, did you? How's it going, man?" Sam said giving me a 'manly' pat on my back.

"Hey, you guys. Whatcha doing here? Couldn't I get some peace and quite for a few more days? I'm still recovering from an open heart surgery u know." I said jokingly.

"Oh, we all missed you too!" CJ said giving me a quick hug.

"We brought beer and we wanna watch the game" Toby said heading towards the couch and flicking the TV remote control.

Donna then came near me and said, "Thought you could use some fun." I smiled at her and watched her walk away to the kitchen. 

The guys filled me in on what was going on while I was away. We drank and watched the game and annoyed each other like old times. 

"Josh, don't drink too much. You know, with your system and all." Donna said giving a cheeky grin.

"Donna, I can drink as much I want. My system is just fine." I said whining.

"It's really not." Sam said giving me a full smile.

"Look, I can handle my alcohol!" I said defending my system.

"Whatever you say, Josh." Donna said without looking at me. She then picked some glasses from the table and went to the kitchen. CJ followed her. Donna and CJ were engaged in a conversation. I'm only guessing it's some girltalk they we having. I watched Donna wash the glasses and bring prepare some nachos and dip. I don't think anyone looks as gorgeous as her conducting domestic chores. Just as the two women were walking into the living room, I turned away quickly, before Donna noticed I was watching her. As I turned, I caught Sam looking at me. He then gave me a look. Sort of raising his eye brows and giving a 'we need to talk' look. 

"Hey, I'm gonna get more drinks from the fridge. Josh, buddy, wanna help me?" Sam said. 

Great. I was right about his look. I followed him to the kitchen. "What's going on?" Sam asked me.

"What's going on…what?" I asked innocently.

"You know what I'm talking about. What's going on with you and Donna? I saw you watching her the whole night" Sam said opening the fridge door.

"What are you talking about? There's nothing going on. And I wasn't watching her the whole night." I said looking directly at him.

"Josh, it's only natural to develop these kind of feelings when she's practically living with you and talking care of you. Did something happen between you two?" Sam asked.

"No, Sam. Nothing happened between us. Besides being extremely grateful and thankful, I have not recently developed any other 'feelings' towards Donna. And I do not appreciate these accusations you are implying on me." I said as innocently as possible. I think I was also trying to convince myself.

"You're right. You haven't recently developed feelings towards Donna." Sam said picking a six-pack from the fridge.

"Thank you." I said congratulating myself on convincing Sam. And so I thought.

"You've always had feelings for her. I'm glad you finally realize it man. I was almost going to give up on you and declare the Deputy Chief of Staff as the most obliviousest man in America." Sam said opening a can of beer.

"Obliviousest, Sam? Really, do we actually pay you for writing speeches for the President?  And what the hell are you talking about?" I said, my voice going a little too high pitched at the end there.

"Hello boys. Are you ever going to bring us the beer? I mean, it's just a simple task. And you are the same people running the country." CJ said coming in the kitchen and grabbing a few cans. 

I followed her as she walked to the couch without turning back towards Sam. I hoped Sam wouldn't bring up this Donna issue anytime soon. I wonder what he meant by I've always had feelings for her and I finally realize it. I've never had feelings for Donna before. Well, at least I think I didn't. I'm sure what I have towards her now is merely a crush and it'll definitely go away. So, there's no point admitting to Sam what I feel for her now. Or admitting to myself for that matter. 

I spent the rest of the night avoiding Sam and he knew it I'm sure. I also controlled myself from looking at Donna. CJ and the guys left after a few hours and I wasn't even drunk. Well, at least not completely. I vaguely remember Donna helping me into bed.

***************************************************

I decided to leave Josh's apartment a few days before he got back to work. He didn't seem to object or anything. In fact he was encouraging me to leave. I must have annoyed him while I was there. He must be glad to get rid me. Well, as least now I can concentrate on getting rid of this silly crush I have on Josh. I'm sure it'll be gone in a few days at most. Although I will miss being with him outside of the office. I will miss holding him and taking care of him. I'll miss running my hands through his hair, looking at him when he first gets out of bed in the morning, kissing him goodnight on the forehead when he finally falls asleep and…..Damn, I can't wait to get over him.

***************************************************

Donna left today. I miss her already even though I know I'll be seeing her at work tomorrow. But I'll miss having her here, taking care of me. I'm going to miss watching her in her cute little night shirts, seeing her first thing in the morning, her smell, her hair….Oh well, at least everything is going to be alright from now. I can get rid of this silly crush I have on her. I can get my sanity back. I went to the guestroom and I could still smell Donna there. I'm definitely going to miss her holding me at night, and kissing me goodnight when she thought I was asleep. I wish she can me be mine forever. No, I didn't say that. Damn, I can't wait to get over her.

TO BE CONTINUED……..

  
  



	2. Part 2

Part 2

It was the first day Josh was back to work. Well, back into the office anyway. He's been working at home pretty much since he got back from the hospital. A bullet to his heart can't stop him from being a workaholic. I was excited he was coming back, as we can get back to a normal routine like before. And this time would be much better as we have become so much closer than boss/assistant since I've been taking care of him at his place and living with him even. Boy, was I wrong. 

Josh has been so annoying the day he came back. I mean he's always annoying. But this time it annoyed me more because he's come back to our normal routine! I know, I know, that's what I wanted. But I expected a stronger relationship between us. He's acting as if I never took care of him, never rocked him to sleep, never lived with him!! 

Josh came into the bullpen and walked right past my desk without even looking at me. He's been greeting everyone on the way to my desk and accepting everyone's well wishe

s and 'welcome backs'. But he didn't even look my way and he walked into his office.

"Donna, what time is my meeting with Leo?" He bellowed from his office and I was at my desk! I heard but I didn't say anything at first. Well, I was annoyed. I wanted to give him the silent treatment. I realize that I'm not twelve and he's my boss. But what the heck.

"DONNA!!!! DONNA!!!!" he yelled so loud I think the whole bullpen is deaf now.

"Yes Josh. I'm coming and I'll be your slave for all your commands." I muttered while walking into his office.

"Why, hi Donna. How was your day? Fine, and you Josh?" I said in the most annoyingly chirpy voice.

"My meeting with Leo. What time is it?" he asked finally looking at me.

"It's in 15 minutes. Then you have to call Oliver Whineburg about the FDA thing and 

at 12pm you have a meeting with Senator Johnston at your office" I said. I continued filling him on his meetings what else he has to do today.

"You need anything else?" I asked him.

"No. Thank you" Josh said again looking at his folder and not me.

I then left quietly. I guess getting over him is going to be easier than I thought. The rest of the day was just like any other busy day. 

*********************************************

I walked into the bullpen receiving well wishes from practically everyone. It annoyed the hell out of me because all I wanted to do is see my Donna. I mean my assistant Donna. Then, I saw her sitting at her desk typing. I stood there for while awestruck. She was gorgeous wearing a short sleeve black top and a dark red short skirt. I think I won't be able to utter a word if I look at her. I thought I could get over her. But I think it has only gotten worse. I can't look at her. Not now. So I walked right past her desk without even acknowledging her. 

Then at my office, I continued to bellow at her asking about my meeting. She didn't answer at first. Was she mad at me? She has every right to. She took care of me and practically lived with me and I didn't even say hi to her today. I then practically yelled her name out so loud, I was surprise my window didn't shatter. I couldn't look at her at first but then I realize I can't be a total asshole so I looked up. Boy, was that a bad idea. She looked so pissed at me. She looked disappointed and pissed. I made Donna upset and mad. I'm a bastard. But, this is all for the best. If she hates me, she won't be nice to me. And so, it'll be easier for me to get over her. See, I have it all worked out. 

I spent the whole day avoiding Donna and being busy with work. I guess getting over her is going to be easier than I though. I just can't look at her. 

*********************************************

I went back home feeling like crap. I was thinking of Josh the whole day. I actually felt like crying. I haven't felt like this since….since the shooting. I miss him so much. I wish he was less of a bastard at work today. My heart is actually aching thinking of him. 

I got a tub of Rocky Road ice-cream  and started pigging out. I couldn't stop myself from sobbing. Just then, Kimmy, my roommate, came in.

"What did he do now? Donna, I'm seriously going to stuff his face with a large can of tuna!!" Kimmy said angrily. 

"Kimmy, it's okay. I'm fine." I said lying obviously.

"Donna, no one I know is so miserable so often because of their boss." Kimmy said sitting next to me on the couch and rubbing my back.

"Donna, look, it's obvious you have some feelings towards Josh. I have no idea why. But that's beside the point. Donna, you have to get over him and you know that. Do you actually want a man that makes you this upset so bloody often?" Kimmy asked me.

"Oh, Kimmy. You're right. I know you are right. I have to get over this feeling I have for him. It's just so hard and I don't know how." I said. This was the most honest I've been to anyone .Heck, even to myself.

"Donna, let's go out tonight. We'll go and get drunk okay? Come on, get dressed. I'll call Joe to come along." Kimmy said.

I couldn't refuse as I know Kimmy would drag me by my legs out of the apartment. Maybe this would be good for me. Well, it can't do any harm and I can't feel any worse than I am now. Besides, tomorrow is Sunday, and Josh didn't ask me to come in. Well, he didn't say anything but I'm assuming he doesn't need me.

***********************************************

Me, Kimmy and her boyfriend, Joe, went to a bar nearby our apartment. We sat and drank a few beers. I didn't feel like talking, not that Kimmy and Joe noticed I was there anyway. They were busy making out and dancing. I drank some more. I'm pretty sure I'm seeing double by now. 

Just then, a bartender or waiter came up to me, placing a drink on my table and said,

"Complements from the gentleman over there."

I turn to look at the guy who bought me a drink but there were just too many guys there. I didn't give a damn anyway. As long as I have a free drink, I'm happy.

The next thing I know I was waking up from my bed in my bedroom when I felt the sun shining into my room causing me a headache. Man, I hate hangovers. This time felt worse, I felt sore all over I couldn't even move from my bed. Kimmy must have dragged me back home while I was completely out of it. After a while, I didn't feel any better. I still was in too much pain to get of the bed. Then, I basically got a shock when I pulled off the bedspread. There was no clothing on my body. As I opened my eyes  wider I noticed bruises all over me. I struggled to get up only to notice a large cut on my chest just below my left breast and there were scratches on my thighs as well. My heart was pounding so hard, I could barely breath. I pulled myself out of the bed and went to the bathroom. Was I in an accident? Did I fall? Was I mugged or attacked? Why am I naked? So many questions flooded my mind causing my head to pound even harder. 

As I held my self up by holding the sink, I closed me eyes. Oh my god! Oh no! God no! I saw images of someone lying on top of me. I was struggling but I had no energy as if my motor system failed on me. He was hurting me. He was raping me. No, that can't be it.  I quickly opened my eyes. No, I'm just imagining this. I'm at my home. Did I have sex with someone at the bar? I was so drunk I wouldn't know. But what about the bruises I have. I noticed lots of scratches on my inner thigh. I felt like my world was falling apart. I felt the everything was spinning around me.

After a few minutes of being numb and holding myself up, I realized I have to pull myself together and find Kimmy. I splashed water on my face, brushed my teeth and got dressed. I went to the kitchen and saw Kimmy having coffee.

"Oh, you finally awake! Donna, why did you leave last night without telling me. I was sooo worried, I was looking all over for you. Me and Joe even asked the cops nearby. Thank god we came home to check and saw you sleeping on your bed. Would you please not do that ever again? God, I thought I was going to get a heart attack last night." Kimmy said waving her hands all over causing my head to start spinning again.

"Kimmy, did you see me with any guy last night?" I asked her

"No, me and Joe were dancing and the next thing I knew you were not on your chair" Kimmy said.  
  


"Kimmy, I think I was raped last night" I said it out loud causing Kimmy to open her eyes wide and dropping her jaw.

I explained to Kimmy about the images I saw when I closed my eyes and how I found myself naked on my bed. I also showed her my bruises.

"This is all my fault. I dragged you out last night and didn't even pay any attention to you. I just left you there when I knew you were already drunk and hurting. Oh, Donna. I'm so so sorry," Kimmy said shaking and tears started pouring down her cheeks.

"It's not your fault Kimmy. I think I'll have to go to the hospital. I'm not even sure if that's what happened." I said.

I didn't feel like crying. I didn't feel anything except for the physical pain all over my body. Kimmy came with me to the hospital. We had to wait a few hours before the doctor could see us. Then, I went in alone. I was glad to see a female doctor who introduced herself as Dr. Jacobson. She was probably in her early 40s and she seemed easy to talk to. I had told her what happened last night and what I went through this morning. She then conducted a rape kit on me which was very uncomfortable. She also did a blood test.

We had to wait a few more hours of waiting which I didn't mind because I had no zest or need to do anything at that time. My emotions were coming back to me as I felt tears rolling down my cheek. I felt hopeless and angry and scared out of my mind. I didn't know what to think about this situation. Part of me was glad I was drunk as I could have been hurt more or worse, I could have been killed. But I just didn't understand the fact that I could be so drunk. I always could handle my alcohol relatively well. Well enough not to get raped anyway. I have had alcohol the amount I did last night on several occasions prior to this and I was never completely out of it. 

Kimmy sat with me the whole time. We didn't talk much but she knew all I needed was for her to be there with me. The nurse finally called me in. 

" Donna, did you except any drinks last night from anyone? Did anyone serve you a drink?" Dr. Jacobson asked me while holding a chart.

I thought for a while and then it hit me. " Yes, a bartender brought me a drink saying it was some guy from over the bar. I turned to see who it was but there were many guys there and I didn't care that much. Oh, no. Why was I sooo stupid? This is all my fault" 

I buried my face on my hands and shook my head.

"Donna, this is not at all your fault by any means. Donna, we found traces of the drug Rohypnol in your bloody system. It would be worn off by now. This drug is the new date rape drug of choice. The drug produces a sedative effect, muscle relaxation, and a slowing of psychomotor responses. It should also cause amnesia. That's why you can't remember what happen. But about the images you've seen, I'm guessing there was only a very very small amount of Rhohypnol in your drink. Maybe because the guy assumed you were already pretty drunk." She said to me in a calm voice. 

She then sat on a chair next to me. "Donna, the rape kit shows you've had intercourse in the last 24 hours. However, there was no semen found in your cervix or uterus. This could be good and bad. Bad because there's no chance of identifying this guy as you can't remember what happen last night. Good because you would be free from any STDs or the chance of being pregnant."

"I can't believe this is happening to me. I shouldn't have drank as much as I did." I said staring to cry again.

"Donna, even if you had only a glass of beer, who's to say this guy wouldn't have spiked that drink anyway. It is no means your fault. You have to know and believe that. Donna your bruises will heal relatively fast as there were no deep cuts. I will prescribe some pain killers which you probably will need for today and tomorrow. I'll also give you some cream and ointment for the bruises to heal faster. However, I can't heal your emotional pain. Would you like to talk to someone? There are rape victim counselors I could recommend."

"No, I think I just need to be alone right now." I said.

"Okay, but I'll give you their contact numbers anyway." Dr. Jacobson said gently rubbing

my back.

Just then I look up to see a police officer at the room door. "Donna, you have to talk to the police about what happen. I had to call them as it's hospital policy if we conclude a rape was involved with our patients." The doctor said getting up from the chair and leaving the room.

I explained to the police officer who was polite and patient. He also said that he can't do much as I can't recall anything about the rapist and the rape kit didn't do much help as well. But he said he'll go to the bar I went to and do some checking up. He also asked a photo of me and said he'll get back to me if there was anything he found out. 

Kimmy and I went home after that. I took a long shower that I've been longing for. I changed all my sheets on my bed. I started bringing out all the cleaning products and cleaned my mattress and my whole bedroom hopefully making me feel better and less dirty about the whole incident. 

I didn't have any hope of this guy being caught. I think part of me doesn't want this guy to be found as then the rape would probably be more real to me. I was also terrified because the guy knew where I lived. Kimmy and I figured he saw our address on an ID in my purse as all my cards were messed up in my purse. I usually keep my cards arranged accordingly in a specific order.

I couldn't sleep that night. I was tossing and turning on my bed and trying to wipe out the images I saw when I closed my eyes. I could never see the guy's face in the images. Just his body on mine and me struggling, not have the energy to push him away even a bit.

The next morning, Kimmy said she'll change and add more locks on the front door so that'll we'll feel more safe. I agreed thanking her for being there for me through out the whole time. Now, I was off to work hoping for the first time Josh will drown me with heaps of work as I need to get my mind off this weekend. Josh, this was the first time I thought about him since the incident. It was pining over him that made me go to the bar in the first place. So, technically this is all his damn fault. 'No, Donna. Don't do this. This is not Josh's fault, nor is it mine. The only one to blame is the son of a bitch who rape me.' I said to myself.

*********************************************

I spent my weekend not thinking of Donna. Well, I spent thinking of ways to try to stop thinking of Donna anyway. But Monday has to come. I came early to work as I didn't want to pass by her desk like I did the other day. I saw Dona come in and sit at her desk. I looked at her through from my office. She looked tired. Why would she be tired. I gave her the whole Sunday off. Well, she has Sunday's off but I always manage to give her some work. But this time I didn't bug her at all. Not even a phone call. Well, maybe she partied the whole weekend away. Hopefully not with some gomer. 

Then I saw Donna get up and walk to my office. I quickly opened some folder and pretended to be reading. 

"Josh, here's the memo for your meeting with the public education guys. You have the staff meeting in 30 minutes. You'll be discussing about the……" Donna said only looking at the schedule in her hand.

"Why, hi Josh. How was your weekend? Fine, and you Donna?" I said not being able to resist myself. 

Then she finally looked up at me. She had a blank look on her face. Her eyes were red and puffy. She looked like she has been crying for days. Why? Because of how I've been treating her since I got back to work? I'm such a jerk. I made my Donnatella cry. I should be shot. Well, I have been shot. And I do not want to go there again. Maybe I should be just hit on the head. 

"Donna, are you okay?" I asked her.

She merely nodded and continued reading my schedule. There was something definitely wrong. I decided to leave it alone. She probably would be back to normal in a while anyway. I should also start being normal and start looking at her no matter how much it drives me crazy. I'm obviously hurting her.

I tried being as smug and witty as I always am but Donna seemed so distant. She came into my office at the end of the day, handing me some note and folders when I noticed a bruise and some light scratches on her hand. 

"Donna what's that?" I asked pointing at her hand.

She looked at it for a few seconds lost in some thoughts and said,  "Just a scratch."

"Well, I can see that. How did you get it?" I asked.

She gave me a big pause once again. "It's nothing Joshua, it'll be gone in a few days. Doesn't even hurt." She left my office before I could ask anything more.

In the next few days, Donna didn't even bugged me with her daily useless bits of trivia or force me to explain every detail of every thing I do and decide on. I miss that. She'll be fine. She just needs some time I thought to myself. Boy, was I wrong. 

It has been more than 2 weeks since Donna has been gloomy and not herself. I, on the other hand tried my best being as normal and Josh-like as possible. She has to have forgiven me by now for that one day. Maybe it isn't me that made her upset. Maybe it's some other gomer. I'm going to rip his scull out and feed it to a pack of wolves. I need to find out why she's being the way she is. Have I lost my Donna? Oh, how I long to just hold her in my arms and tell her everything is going to be okay. Funny, this is what she did for me after the shooting. She took care or me and she's the only reason I'm healthy and coming to work everyday. I have to take care or her. I have to protect her. Whatever it takes, I'm going to get my Donna back. Hopefully she won't end up despising me even more. 

TO BE CONTINUED………


	3. Part 3

Part 3

Josh had been nice lately. The past few weeks he's been kind of polite and doesn't overwork me. I can see he is trying hard to get things back to the way they were. He still hasn't acknowledged the fact that we were more than boss/assistant or even normal everyday friends since the shooting. However, I've learn to deal with that. It is better off this way as a relationship with him only bring about more tribulations. 

Honestly I haven't really thought about me and Josh as an 'us' since the rape. I mean, I have thought about it but never really felt anything.  I have just been analyzing how being an 'us' would bring so many negative situations. First, it would project a bad image to the administration which is especially bad before re-election. Second, we could get fired. Politics is Josh's life and I wouldn't want to be the one who ruins it for him. Third, Leo and CJ would kill us, or at least just Josh. Forth, Josh most probably does not feel the way I did about him. I say 'did' because I haven't been having any emotional feelings the past few weeks. But I'm assuming my feelings for a Josh are still there and will emerge back soon. So, maybe I can destroy whatever I felt for him before it comes back again. You see, I have been obsessing about me and Josh as it is the only thing that can keep my mind off the horrifying incident.

It is now two weeks and 4 days since the incident. I think I'm recovering from the emotional trauma that I endured from the rape which we will now only refer to it as the 'incident'. I have been sleeping much better the past few days as I don't experience the images anymore. The cops called me about a week ago, saying that they could not find any leads and will have to close the case. I was fine with it as I knew it would be almost impossible catch the scum. 

I came into the office early today. Just to get ahead of things.

"Hey Donna, how's it going? Could you come into my office?" Josh said as he passed by my desk.

Wow, that's definitely a step up from bellowing my named from his office with the door shut. Maybe I should also try to be nice to him. I have been pretty distant and not Donna-like. But can you blame me?

"Hi, Josh. You're ten minutes late." I said as I entered his office.

"Ten minutes late for what?" Josh asked me.

"Ten minutes later from the time you said you will be here. Not that it really matters. I'm just pointing it out your watch sucks." I said.

Josh looked at me slightly shocked. Probably because this is the first Donna-like comment I made in more than two weeks. I continued reading his schedule for the day. 

"Okay…….Donna?" Josh asked me.

"Yup?"  I said looking from the clipboard I was holding. 

"Errrmm…How are you?" Josh asked me as if he couldn't think of any other words to say.

"I'm fine Josh. And yourself?" I asked with a hint of sarcasm in my voice.

"Donna….Donna…." Josh said, fishing for more words to say.  Can you believe this man is  a fullbright scholar?

"Josh, I've got heaps to do. Could you just say what you want to say before the re-election is over?" I said sounding a bit annoyed.

"Ya…Donna, I want you to know that you could talk to me about anything. Anything at all. Or if you need anything. I'm just saying I'm here if you need anything and not just as your boss." 

Wow, I so didn't expect that. Josh Lyman, proving he's not a total jackass all the time. I actually feel a little tingle in my stomach. I think this the first real emotion I'm experiencing. My heart is also beating a bit funny. God, this is getting a little overwhelming.

"Okay….thanks," is all I manage to utter. I also gave him a small smile. I think my eyes are showing that I'm grateful. I then leave his office without saying anything else.

*******************************************

Two weeks have passed since I told Donna that she could come to me for anything. Either she didn't comprehend what I said or was just plain deaf. You see, she didn't talk to me about anything. She didn't state why she's been as distant as she's been. She didn't explain to me why her eyes aren't as glowing as they used to. As you can see I am annoyed. How can I find out what's bothering her? 

However, Donna has been a little better now. She started to bug me with some of her useless trivia and giving me some smart-ass comments. It's funny how I say she's 'better' indicating she's bugging me and being sarcastic. But that's my Donna. And you've got to love her for that. 

Donna is looking rather gorgeous today, not that she isn't every other day. She was wearing a tight long sleeve black top with a wide neck and a rather short red skirt. When I say rather short, I mean just about 3 inches above the knee. Hey, this is the White House, you can't actually wear one of those ultra tiny mini skirt. Although I would love to see Donna in one of those…..snap out of it Josh Lyman….Not a great time to fantasize about your assistant when you have to attend a meeting about gun control in 30 minutes.

"Joshua! Fantasizing about your assistant this early in the morning? Get a grip on yourself." I turned to see CJ looking at me. Damn that door that connects my office to hers.

"CJ, don't you knock?" I said hiding my shock from her earlier comment.

"I did you doofus. But you were busy starring Donna to even hear it." CJ said in her usual 'you-are-a-total-dumb ass' voice.

"What? You're crazy. I was just occupied thinking about the gun control thing." I said lying through me teeth.

"Whatever Joshua. Here's something that might help you for that meeting." CJ said handing me some documents. She continued explaining some issues Toby discussed with her. 

"Thanks CJ…hey, can I ask you something?" I asked CJ.

"Yeah. What is it?" CJ asked standing up from the seat.

"Well, have you noticed anything different about Donna? Like in the past month?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"She's been not herself. You know, quieter, less enthusiastic about every little thing. A couple of weeks ago, I told her she can talk to me about anything that bothers her but she hasn't said anything." I explained to CJ hoping she has a clue on what's going on with Donna.

"I guess she has been pretty dull and quiet for some time. But that's probably because you overwork her and it's finally getting to her. Boy, if I were her, I would have quit working for you long ago." CJ said.

"Thanks CJ. You've been a 'real' help." I said in the most sarcastic voice.

CJ sighed. "Look, I'm sure she'll come around. Give her some time off. But without her, you might go bezerk and only end up annoying the hell out of the rest us. So maybe giving her time off is not the best thing for the administration. Maybe you can give her a treat." CJ said looking as if she's given an incredibly wise idea.

"A treat? Like for a dog?" I couldn't help myself. And I received a smack on the back of my head for that….but it was totally worth it.

"No, you moron. Take her out. For dinner or lunch. Some place nice. Not Burger King or the Sloppy Joe stall around the corner." CJ said.

"Mmmmm….." I wondered if the idea was good.

"Or you could always confess to her that you're head over heels in love with her." CJ said as she was walking towards her office.

"Wha….What??? What???" is all I managed to say pretty loudly before CJ shut the door.

What does she mean by that? Was she kidding? Is how I feel for Donna that obvious? First Sam, now CJ. I thought I was doing pretty well getting over my feelings for Donna. Oh, who am I kidding? I was just fantasizing about her just a few minutes ago.

***************************************

I decided life has to go on. I cannot mope around any longer dreading about the whole 'incident'. It has been about a month anyway. I decided to dress up a little 'nicer' today. I wore my tight black top and a short red tight skirt which contrasts with my top. Well, not that short. I do work in the White House. 

Josh has been kind of distracted today. Probably because of the gun control matter. He seems to be just staring through the glass window. Is he starring at me? Nah, probably just into oblivion.

I spent the day getting heaps of work done as Josh was mostly out of the office and he wasn't there to bug me every ten minutes. I was proud of myself for the amount of work I've done and I even prepared more than needed for tomorrow.

I entered Josh's office at the end of the day when there was barely anyone left.

 "Hey, Josh. Do you need anything else?" I would smack his head if he says yes.

"No. I'm done for the day as well." Josh said putting his folder away and getting off his chair.

As I started to leave his office, Josh said,  " You wanna go grab something to eat?"

"No, that's okay. I'm just gonna head home"

"Aw, come on. You don't want to keep your good ol' boss company." Josh said.

I smiled. "Well, I've kept him company for three years. I'm sure he won't mind this one time."

"I'll treat you dinner. Come on. For all the work you've done for me, especially the last few days. Most assistants would have quit by now. The least I could do is take you out for dinner." Josh said giving me a full dimpled smile.

He's gonna make it so hard for me to say no. But I really am not up for it. I haven't gone out socially for a whole month.

"Wow, Joshua Lyman actually showing some gratitude towards his assistant aka slave." I couldn't help myself.

"So, you'll come with me?"

I took a deep breath. My smile faded. "Thanks but I can't. I have some stuff to do. Maybe next time." I lied. Well, not actually 'lied'…I do have some dishes to wash at home.

"What? What do you have to do? It's already pretty late at night."  Josh said not giving up. What's up with him today?

"Josh, I really don't need to present you with details of my activities outside the office." I snapped back at him walking towards the door.

As I held the door knob, I felt Joshua place his hand over mine on the knob.

******************************************

What does she mean she has stuff to do? Does she have a date? I can't handle her dating anyone anymore. I never could, but now I have an even stronger urge to prevent her from dating. For all you know, the gomer she's dating is the reason she's changed the past month.

When she walked towards the door, I realize just couldn't let her. I wanted to do anything possible to make her come with me. I couldn't give her more work, as I said I'm done already. I have to think of something. I have to think fast.

I held her hand when she touched the door knob. Oh, the lords!! The electricity I felt at that instant was something I've never felt in my entire life. My heart was racing and I believe I'm starting to see double. Some stronger unearthly force took over me that moment. Something I cannot explain. And I cannot comprehend what I did next. 

I grabbed Donna's hand and pulled her towards me and pressed my lips against hers. What the hell am I doing? Then I felt a hard shove on my chest which caused me to detach from her lips and almost stumble to the ground.

I came back to reality. I saw Donna breathing heavily and loud. Her eyes were filled with anger and terror at the same time. I'm the biggest screw up of all time!

"Donna I'm…..I'm sorry…." I stammered not knowing what to say. 

Donna turned around, walked out and slammed the door behind her. I'm lower than scum. 

***************************************

That asshole!!!!! That mother f***ing asshole. He is lower than scum. Who does he think he is? What, just because he's my boss he can just harass me like that? Does he think I'll sleep with him just because he's probably having a dry run? Well… it is my own fault for wearing the clothes I am. But still, he has no right to just grab me and kiss me and demand sex like that. Well, he didn't demand sex, but I'm sure that was what he was thinking. He's just like every other guy. He's no better than the guy who raped me. 

I grabbed my stuff from my desk and practically ran to the elevator to go to the carpark.

As I almost reached my car, I heard someone calling out my name. Well, obviously it was Josh. I didn't turn back but just walked even faster towards my car. I need to get out of here as fast as possible.

****************************************

"Donna! Donna!" I saw her walking rather quickly towards her car. I practically ran after her. And now I'm panting out of control obviously due to the lack of gym visits I've had in the past ……hhhmmmm….5 to 10 years. 

Anyway, back to reality. Donna hates me! She would probably never speak to me again. She's going to leave. She's going to file a sexual harassment lawsuit against me. I'm going to lose my Donna because of my own stupidity and idiocy. I don't even know why I'm chasing her. What am I going to say? 'Whooops. Sorry I slipped and my lips landed on yours.' Oh no! She's not turning back. She's got her keys on her car door. I've got to stop her. I've got to say something. Say anything you prick!!!!! There's nothing you can do or say to make this situation worse!!!

"I've fallen in love with you." Did I say that?

 No, I'm sure it was just in my head. I'm not that big of a dumbass right? Or am I ? Oh no. Donna looks frozen. Ladies and gentlemen, Joshua Lyman, attained the unattainable once again by making the already dreadful situation even worse.

She is staring at her car holding the front door open. We both didn't say a word nor did we move for a good few minutes.

Finally Donna turned towards me and simply said, "You're crazy."

She's getting into her car. I can see her hands shaking as she moved the car door. I have to say something. I cannot take back what I said.

"No. Donna wait. I've been in love with you pretty much five minutes after I met you for the first time. It just took me a couple of years to realize it. I love everything about you. I love that you are the only one who can keep my ego in check. I love  listening to your bits of trivia and arguing with you about pretty much every issue we deal with. You keep my life in order. I'd be falling apart without you. The only motivation to get of my bed every morning is knowing that I'll be seeing you. You are the only reason I made through the shooting. You are the reason I wanted to live. I tried to push you away when I came back to work after my recovery because I thought that would be the only way I could get over my feelings for you. But obviously, that didn't work."

 I can't believe how easy it was to let it all out. Wow, I don't think I've ever been this honest to even myself. Donna's looking at me. I can't read her expression as it is completely blank. She looks as though she has stopped breathing. A few moments later, she practically dropped onto the drivers' seat with her feet still hanging outside the car. 

I waited a while but nothing. She's just sitting there, breathing hard and staring into oblivion. I walked next to her car and opened the back door and sat on the back seat. 

I came to the middle seat and hugged the head rest of the driver's seat. 

I took a deep breath and sighed out loud. " Say something Donnatella." I said pleadingly.

Donna moved further back on her seat and laid down with her head resting on the front passengers' seat. 

"Please tell me you were kidding, Joshua." She said letting out a sigh and finally looking into my eyes.

My heart sank. I poured my soul out to the very bit and she's hoping I'm kidding?????

I stared into her lovely blue eyes and I could feel my eyes getting teary. I then looked 

Down.

"No, Donna. I've never been this serious about anything in my life before. Probably because nothing in this world matters more to me than you." I said quietly not daring to look at her.

She doesn't love me. She never did. I ruined everything. I lost my best friend and an invaluable assistant. And I have only myself to blame for it.

TO BE CONTINUED…………


	4. Part 4

Part 4

I am scum. I'm a whole load of crap. How could I think such things about Josh? How could I compare him to that son of a gun who assaulted me. I am still utterly shocked to my very soul by what Josh told me. He loves me. He 'really really' loves me. Why in the heaven's name did I ask him if he was kidding? What kind of scum am I ? 

I'm now lying on the front seats of my car with my legs still hanging out of the driver's seat. Josh is sitting at the middle of the backseat holding the headrest of the front seats. 

"I…I…..I have to go now Josh.." I said softly, like I had no energy left in me.

I looked at his face while he looked back at me. He looked like someone had just punched him in the gut and clogged him over the head. That someone is me. I am scum.

"Okay." Josh said nodding his head.

He slowly got off my car and I sat up properly on the drivers seat. Josh stood by my door and looked at me with such saddened eyes. Oh, how I wish I could just hold him right now and tell him how much I have longed for him. But I can't. 

"I'm sorry, Josh." I simply said and drove off. He didn't say or do anything. I think he is still registering what had happened.

Timing Josh. Such bad timing. If only he told me this a month ago. I would have probably flung myself onto him. I don't even know if I still have those kind of feelings for him. I have been reasoning with myself on the negative effects any romantic relationship with Josh might bring. I know I still care for him a whole lot. But I can't picture myself with anyone right now. I think I still need time to heal from the 'incident'.  I'm also still comprehending that Josh actually loves me. All this time, I was in love with him and he was in love with me. And neither of us did anything. He was probably torturing himself just like I did, trying to hide his feelings from me. 

I need to give him an explanation. I owe him that much. I can't tell him what happened to me. Or that I did have such strong and real feelings for him. I also don't want to hurt him more than I already did. What am I going to say to him?? 

I'm at home now cracking my head thinking of what to say to Josh. I should stop pacing but I can't seem to sit down or do anything else. Suddenly, I felt someone shake my shoulders. I gasped.

"Donna, what in the world is wrong with you? I've been trying to get your attention for so long. Are you still in this universe???" Kimmy said still shaking me.

"Oh, sorry Kimmy. My mind is preoccupied. Did you need something?" I asked my roommate trying my very best to sound normal.

Kimmy didn't buy it. She dragged me to the couch and sat me down.

"Now, you are going to tell me what the hell is going on before I beat it out of ya!" 

I sighed and realized that there is no way Kimmy is going to leave me without the whole truth. So, I told her every minuscule detail that occured.

Kimmy listened to the whole story with her eyes widening every second. I think her eyes might just pop out right about now.

"Oh, my god. Oh my god!!! Donna, you are such an idiot!!!" Kimmy exclaimed.

"Me?? Well, I admit I could have handled it better. But come on, I was sooo caught off guard." I said defending my dumbass actions.

"Donna, you love him. You are crazy 'I'll-sell-my soul-for-you' in love with him. Why didn't you tell him that? He obviously loves you just as much if not more. He said such wonderful things to you which frankly, I didn't think he had it in him. But come on Donna, if anyone said to me half as much as what he said to you, I'll be the happiest girl in the world!"  Kimmy said practically jumping of the couch.

"Kimmy, I don't know if I still have those feelings for him. Since…..since the 'incident' I haven't had any form of romantic feelings towards Josh. And being an 'us' is such a bad idea. For goodness sake, we both could lose our jobs and it could cause us the re-election." I said overdramatically.

"Oh, don't be overdramatic. Like two single people falling head over heels for each other could cause the President of the United States to lose the election."

"Kimmy, I'm his assistant. No one could care less if we love each other. In their eyes, I slept my way into the white house and the Deputy Chief of Staff can't keep his hands off his much younger assistant. And besides all that, we could lose our friendship." I explained.

"Donna, it's not everyday people find love like the two of you have for each other. Is your love not pure enough for you to fight for it? Besides, all the reasons you gave me are only possibilities. It all might not even occur. Things might be hard at first but it will all work out once people know how you really feel for each other." Kimmy said rubbing my back just as a tear rolled down my cheek.

"Kimmy, it would be something worth fighting for. But I told you, I'm really not ready to have a relationship right now. I need time to get over the assault. And like I said, I don't know if I still love him like that. You need to know that." I said crying a bit more.

A long pause of silence.

 "Okay Donna. I understand that you need time. But, I know you still love him. Just as deep as you always have. You might not feel it right now. But I know for a fact it is there. What you felt for him cannot just go away. I don't think you should make it go away. I'm sure you can't anyway. Feelings like that don't just disappear due to a horrid incident. Your love for him is much stronger and purer than that." Kimmy said suddenly making so much sense.

I know what she said is very true. Deep inside I do know I still love Josh just as much as I always have. Sigh. I can't think of this anymore. My head would surely explode if I did. Kimmy gave me a hug and I went to bed. Who was I kidding? Like I would ever get any sleep. I spent the night tossing and turning dreading the fact that I have to face Josh Lyman in the morning.

The alarm rang at 6am. I was still awake. I'm going to call in sick. No, I can't. Whatever reason I give, Josh would still know the truth. I can't call in sick everyday can I ? 

I growled and got off my bed. 

It is now 7.30am. I'm sitting at my desk typing vigorously. I really don't know if I'm typing in the right letters as I'm sooo nervous. Josh is going to walk in anytime.

It's 7.45. Josh is late as usual. Just then, I hear his voice nearby. My heart is pounding so hard I think it might explode. I took a peak up without moving my head much and saw Josh walking with Sam. They were busy discussing something. I might be lucky after all. 

"Hi, Donna." I looked up to see Sam greeting me. Damn him. Why does he have to be so damn polite and annoyingly cheerful?

I stuttered a good morning when I caught Josh's eyes. He had the same look he had last night plus he obviously didn't have any sleep as he looked just as drowsy as I felt.

They both left and entered Josh's office.

**********************************

"What was that about?" Sam asked. Why does he have to be so observant?

"What?" I asked innocently

"That. With Donna. You didn't even greet her. She barely managed to get a good morning out. She's a lot more cheerful and responsive than that." Sam stated.

"Well, Sam, I have no idea. She seems fine to me. She's probably just busy trying to get the education report done." I said, lying….again.

"Yeah. Whatever." Sam said knowing he's not going to get anything out of me. We continued to discuss some issues we had to deal with today.

Donna was just as normal as always with me. We were only professional today. No banter, no teasing, no personal talk. Well, thanks to me, I managed to ruined the best relationship I've had in my whole entire life.

Have I mentioned that I also feel like someone choked me by pulling my guts out through my mouth and tying it around my neck? Well, I do. I feel completely rejected by the one and only person whom I truly love and will be the only one I ever feel this way about.

I wish I hadn't told her. Why was such a dumbass? I mean, before at least I could have an illusion of Donna feeling the same way towards me. Now, its sooooo damn real. Everything has just kicked in. I will never ever find true happiness as long as I live.

Why???? Why does she not love me? I'm handsome. I have killer dimples which I'm certain is a chick magnet. I'm a powerful, successful politician. Heck, I'm the third most important person in the United States of America. And, since the US President is considered the most powerful man of the free world, I am the third most powerful man of the free world. I'm a great catch!!! Why wouldn't she love me??? 

Hmmm…. Probably because I'm a screw up. I overwork her and underpay her. And my large ego seems to annoy her. But still, those aren't really big reasons. I really need to know why she rejected me. I need to know before I drive myself bonkers. 

It's almost 8pm. I'm pretty much done. I need to talk to Donna. I have to ask her why. 

I see her sitting at her desk, reading a report and making notes I assume.

"Donna!" I bellowed. Why couldn't I just call her politely like a normal person? Again, another reason for her not to love me.

"Yup. Coming." She walked into my office.

"What do you need, Josh?" She asked politely trying not to look at my face.

"Are you almost done?" I asked looking directly at her knowing that it is making her very uncomfortable.

"Um. Yeah pretty much. Just doing some finishing touches to the index cards you'll need for tomorrow morning's meeting with Senator Halls." She said finally catching my eyes.

"Ok. Yeah, I don't need anything else. You can go home after that." I said chickening out. Ask her!! Damn fool!!!  She is almost reaching the door. You witless, gutless wonder!! Say something!!!!

"Talk! Talk!" Yeah, that's the best you can come up, fool! Sometimes I'm certain the board of education mucked up my SAT verbal results.

"What?" Donna asked looking like I'm lost my mind.

"Donna….Donna….(sigh) I'm sorry about last night. I'm sorry I said the things I did. I should have kept it to myself and not created this awkwardness between us which I don't know if it can be mendable." I said. Mendable?

"Mendable?" Donna echoed trying to control a smirk forming at the corners of her lips. 

I smiled. For the first time since yesterday. Funny, I smiling because of the same person who caused me such depression all this while. She's just sooo amazing that way.

"Yeah. My verbal skills have been seriously failing on me the past few days." I said looking at her adoringly. Stop it, Josh Lyman.

"Josh." Donna said becoming serious again. "I'm not sorry you said those wonderful things to me. I mean, I know it was not at the best circumstances. But, Josh, no one has ever told me anything remotely as amazing as you did last night. I'm the one who's sorry. I didn't respond as you probably hoped for. You have no idea how crummy I feel about it." Donna said. 

I so want to hold her right now. I want to be held by her and cry my eyes out. Pull, yourself together, man!

"Donna, can I ask you something? I mean, I really need to know. Why?" I asked shamelessly.

"Why what?" Donna asked. I think I would need to spell it out for her

"Why….why don't you feel the same way I do for you?" I sound like a 12 year old boy asking a girl to love me. Hey, where did I hear that before? God knows.

"Josh. The idea of 'us' spells disaster at every end. I mean, we could be fired. We could be killed by Leo and then by CJ. It could cause a scandal which is so not we need before the re-election. We could completely ruin our working relationship, not to mention our friendship." Donna said without taking a breath I think. 

"Donna. First of all, we are too professional to let our working relationship be affected. As for our friendship, it has gone through a lot, and still manages to be standing. Leo and CJ won't kill us, well at least not you. I have worked on so many political arenas, I'm sure I can deal with avoiding a scandal or losing our jobs." I said.

"You don't know that for sure Josh. You've worked so hard for this. You love your job."

Donna said.

"Donna….you have only said why having a relationship with me would be bad. I asked you why you don't love me." I asked again.

A long pause. She shrugged and sighed. I waited. She's shifting her weight from one leg to another. 

"Donna?" I asked hoping so bad she might have a change of heart.

"I..I…" is all she managed to utter taking a deep breath and sighing out loud.

"Okay. Just look me in the eye and tell me you no feelings for me. No romantic feelings whatsoever." I said walking nearer towards her.

She still looked down and turning red. I reached my hand out and softly held her chin. I slowly pushed her head up until her eyes met mine. Her eyes were filled with tears. Just then, I felt a magnetic force pulling me towards her. I moved my face towards her, a milli inch every second. My eyes started to close. Her lips are so luscious.

"I don't." Donna said startling me, causing me to pull back and take my hand off her chin.

"I'm sorry….. I don't have that kind of feelings for you….at all." A few drops of tears started rolling down her cheeks. Donna quickly walked out of my office closing the door behind her.

Remember the feeling I had, where I felt like I was being choked by my own guts. Well, it's back. This time it's ten time worse.

****************************************

Oh my god. What just happened back there? I quickly grabbed my stuff and coat and left building. 

I lied through my teeth. I looked him in the eyes and lied shamelessly!!! You were probably assuming I was telling the truth because I haven't felt romantic feelings towards Josh in a while now. But guess what??? All those damn feelings came flooding back as soon as he asked me why I don't love him. I felt like launching myself onto him and showering him with sweet kisses on every inch of his body. That I would say, would classify as romantic feelings. I was overwhelmed by the emotion I was having as I have not experienced any romantic instinct towards anyone since I was assaulted. It was way too overwhelming. I started turning red at that point. I couldn't stand still.

Now I am back home, laying in my bath tub filled with bubbles. I assumed it would relax me but no hope so far. Okay, let me have this straight. My feelings towards Josh had returned, more intense than before I think. I feel this way mainly because in the past two hours, I have been imagining myself trying to yank out his tonsils with my tongue and him holding me, placing his hands under my arms pulling me so close, that there is no space for air between us. My question is, why did I lie to him after realizing that my feelings had turned up again? Plus, I don't think I've lied so convincingly ever before.

So, I supposed I might have been too shocked and still uncertain about my feelings at that point, the safest thing to do was to deny any feelings for Josh. And of course all the political reasons …and knowing how much Josh breathes politics, no matter what he says.

I have to be strong. I have to make my lie to Josh become true. It would probably be the hardest thing I will ever do, and I don't completely believe I will ever accomplish it but nevertheless I have do it anyway.

TO BE CONTINUED


	5. Part 5

Part 5

It has been a month since my heart was pounded by a hammer. A whole month!! And you would assume I would feel at least a teeny bit better. But no!!! I have to see her everyday, even on Saturdays and some Sundays. Well, I could give her more time off, but hey, I would have to do more work if I were to do that. 

Things between Donna and I have become quite normal again. Just like always, we have such dramatic occurrence between us, and somehow we manage to go on as if nothing happened. I guess in our line of work, there's no other way to go on. 

I am now in my office busy with phone calls and finishing some reports.

" Josh, Toby wants to see you in his office." Donna said poking her head into my office.

"Yup, okay." I said picking up and leaving my office.

I walked pass the bullpen and heard Donna laughing with Ginger. Oh, her laugh is so sweet and contagious. I just had to smile.

Ginger then saw me and brought me to Toby's office. 

"Josh, you're going to Congressman Dean's meeting this weekend." Toby bluntly said.

"The tax thing? I thought you and Sam are going." I said.

"I'm not going. So, you have to go with Sam." Toby said again.

"Why can't you go? I have already a full schedule this weekend as it is." I said with the pitch of my voice getting a little higher.

"Because I can't. You are the only one available. Stop complaining, you are going. That's final." Toby said waving his hands in the air.

"Toby….No….I am not a push over…I'm not Sam." I said still fishing a way out of this. The meeting is lasts for two whole days and the amount of work we have to do is extreme. 

"Josh, I don't think you understand the concept of 'that's final'."

"Toby!" I yelled.

"Stop whining! And get out now. I have to prepare for a meeting with those education bill people. Get lost." Toby yelled back. I stayed put. I'm so not going to give up. I didn't come this far by being a quitter.

"Josh, the meeting is in New York City. You'll get a full expense paid trip to New York and will get to stay at the Sheraton. You're going and now get lost before I call security!!!" Toby yelled even louder.

"Fine!" I said. Well, I guess it wouldn't be that bad. It is the Sheraton after all.

I swaggered through the bullpen and just yelled out, "Donna! Clear my schedule for Friday and Saturday." 

"What? The whole schedule? It's already Wednesday, Josh." Donna asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, well. Tell that to Toby. He's making me go to the Congressman Dean's tax thing in New York. He refused to accept a no. He's so going to owe me one!" I told Donna.

"Great, just what I need. And, Josh, Toby is never going to owe you one." Donna said as-a-matter-of-factly.

I then went to see Sam. "Hey, I guess you and I have to go to New York this weekend." I said to Sam, who as usual, was pacing in his office.

"What? Oh, that. I can't go." Sam said and then continued pacing.

"WHAT?? You are not backing out. You have to go with me Sam!!" I said, again, my voice getting a little high pitched.

"You, know, you voice…" Sam began and I shot him glance that shut him up.

"The President has to give a speech for the Navy Academy. It was a sudden thing. You know the President and his knowledge about the Navy or any army force. I have to prepare every miniscule detail on everything he says that night. Coz, it's a whole dinner thing. I have to be there to clue him on, u know, when people start a conversation with him." Sam explained.

 "Sam, 'you' have no clue on the Navy or the Army." I said running my hands through my hair.

"Yeah. That's why I have to sit here and research on it. I can't go Josh. Deal with it." Sam said.

"Fine. I'm going to see Toby." I said storming out of Sam's office and into Toby's office.

"Sam can't go. The Navy Academy dinner! I can't deal with this meeting alone. You know the amount they'd discuss in this meeting. It's impossible for one man to report back to the White House on this." I said to Toby who right now looks as though he could just ring my neck. But isn't that how he always looks like?

"Josh, you can deal with the meeting alone. You just need someone to take notes and stuff. Go with Donna." Toby said.

I paused for a while. "She wouldn't want to come." I simply said for lack of better explanation.

"Well, you're her boss. She has to go if you tell her to. Donna wouldn't have much to do around here if you are not here anyway. Besides, she's the only one who could prevent you from doing some form of mishap and embarrassing the White House. Look, I don't want to hear about this any further. Donna's going with you and that's final. Get lost before I call Leo." Toby said looking like he really meant it.

Again I failed. This must be a bad day for me. I have to work on getting my groove back? 

My groove? Good thing CJ didn't hear that.

"Donna, have you cleared my schedule?" I asked her as I passed her desk.

"Joshua, do you actually think I can clear all your meetings and every other thing you have to do for two whole days in 10 minutes??? Josh, you are the Deputy Chief Of Staff, not the manager at Burger King." Donna exclaimed annoyingly.

"A simple no would do." I said raising my eyebrows at her.

Then I continued, holding my office door, "Oh, yeah. Sam can't go and Toby said you have to come with me." And I quickly entered my office and shut the door.

And I hear the click-clack sounds of Donna's heels nearing.

"What?? I could swear you said I'm coming for the meeting with you." Donna said with her hand on her hip. She looks so sexy like that. Okay ,concentrate!!!

"Donna, don't argue with me. Take it out on Toby. I really have no say apparently on this matter." I said sitting on my chair.

"Josh, that's the whole weekend. Josh, it's tiring enough working here with all your demands and now I have to go away with you? And tend to your needs twenty four seven, for two whole days??? Josh, I'm only one little human being." Donna said rather annoyed.

"Donna, first of all, you aren't little. Second of all, we are going to New York City. And it's an all expense paid trip. You get your own room in the Sheraton." I said buttering her up.

Silence. Donna is just staring at me, deep into her own thoughts.

"Donna, it's really not my fault. Blame Toby and Sam. Take it out on them." I said.

"So, can I get unlimited room service?" Donna asked smiling hopefully.

I laughed. "Yeah, we can work that out." I said.

"Okay. But for the record, I'm not entirely happy about this." Donna said as she turned to leave my office.

I just smiled. Well, I guess the trip won't be all that awkward after all. Donna probably assumes I have gotten over her since I seem fine about the both of us going to New York City and she seemed to be only annoyed by the work load.

****************************************************

Wow. I'm going to New York City!!! I'm going to stay at the Sheraton!!! Two whole days in the greatest city in the world!! I've been to New York City during the campaign but we were all cooped up indoors being bombarded with work of course.

I'm so excited! Sure, I'll have to work. But the meeting won't be for 24 hours. Josh wouldn't mind if I were to check out the city. Oh, yeah….Josh…..Me and him, alone in a two day trip……not good…..not good at all.

It's been a month since Josh's confession and my lie to him. I tried avoiding him the first two weeks. But fat chance, I work outside the guy's office! But we've been pretty much back to normal. Just another Josh and Donna thing we do. No dramatic occurrence would stop us from pretending to go on as if nothing had happened. I guess being extremely loaded with work helps a bunch. We are running the most powerful country after all.

Besides, Josh seems comfortable with the idea of going alone with me. If not, he would just have to deal with it, wouldn't he? After all, it's just for a couple of days.

I had been so busy on Wednesday and Thursday. Preparing for the trip and the extra work we had to bring forward from the weekend. So, I didn't have time to think about me and Josh being alone together. Josh seemed too preoccupied to dwell on it as well.

It's Friday. We are in the airport right now, waiting to board. Sam had dropped us at the airport. There's an awkward silence as we sit next to each other at the boarding gate.

I decided to break the silence. "So, what do I have to do for this meeting?" I asked.

"Well, just take short notes mainly. And stop me from making a fool out of the White House." Josh said with a smile forming.

"I'm not sure about the latter. I'm not Wonder Woman you know." I said smiling.

Josh laughed. "Sometimes I wonder." He said.

We boarded the plane and discussed about the meeting. He told me what issues were being discussed and we debated on every little thing as usual. It was basically the safest conversation we could have. 

After a while, I tried to sleep. I figured this was best because we might run out of safe conversations. I laid my head on the window with a pillow in between.

*****************************************

That wasn't too bad. We talked and argued as always. We avoided any personal conversation. She's now sleeping. I look at her. Can anyone look more angelic while sleeping? She looked so at peace. I tried to rest my eyes but I just can't stop watching her. She's the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on. Why isn't there a string of men worshiping her? Well, I'm glad there isn't. But still, I wonder.

After awhile, Donna looked restless, she had been tossing her head trying to get in a comfortable position I assume. She's probably going to wake up soon. I should stop staring at her. Oh dear, she's moving nearer to me. Her pillow dropped and her head landed on my shoulder. That's not going to bring any good.

I'm so stiff right now. I'm not moving an inch. Nor am I breathing I think. Ok, I should take a breath before I get deprived from oxygen. God, she smells so good. Like vanilla and lavender. I think it's her hair that smells like lavender. I knew I shouldn't have taken a breath. My heart beat is racing. I'm trying so hard not to hold her. I feel like I'm going to explode. Maybe I should move away. Well, then her head is going to drop and she might end up with a muscle pull in her neck. Aaarrggg!! What do I do? Should I wake her? Well, that's only going to cause more awkwardness. Maybe I'll say her head is too heavy on my shoulder. Eeerrrggg!! What sort of dumbass am I ? 

I couldn't help myself. I thought I could nudge her a bit and she'll awake. I raised my hand and accidentally touched her hair which was spread to the side of her face and down to her blouse. It was so soft…like silk….damn I sound like some bad poet. I started stroking her hair on her head as softly as possible not to wake her up. I could do this for the rest of my living days.

A short while later, I heard the pilot announcing we are going to land soon. I quickly took my hands of Donna as she moved. She finally opened her eyes and rubbed them using the back of her hands. God, she looks sooo adorable doing that.

"Did the pilot say we are going to land?" She asked stifling a yawn between her words.

"Yes, sleeping beauty." I said not being able to help myself. She was a sleeping beauty.

*******************************************

We are at the hotel now. It is gorgeous!! Like a modern day palace. I could live here forever. We have about two hours before the meeting starts. Josh and I decided to take a shower and freshen up as it's going to be a long day. Not together that is.

I am taking a long hot shower, recalling our plane ride. I felt Josh stroking my hair. I was woken by his touch I assume. I knew I was laying on him as I could smell his cologne way too close to me. I don't even know how I got there. I just know I was too comfortable to move. His touch sent shivers down my spine. I was wrong to keep pretending to be sleeping. I could feel his feelings towards me just by the way he touched my hair. I know he still loves me. And me on his shoulder is probably not the most comfortable position I've put him in. But I just couldn't move. I could be in that position for the rest of my living days.

The meeting went fine. My fingers feel like they are going to fall off though. I've been scribbling notes so fast from the beginning of the meeting till the very end. And, this was like the longest meeting I've ever been in. It was more like a conference. And there's more to come tomorrow.

Anyway, I'm in my room now. Josh has to go for the dinner tonight. Like those people in the conference have not had enough of each other. They actually have a social dinner to  attend together. I brought a dress with me in case I needed to go. It is a short silver silk dress. It has some flowery embroidery on it. And there are three spaghetti straps on each side with a few diamond beads on them. Not real diamond of cause. My mom had bought me this dress for my sister's wedding reception. I haven't worn it since. I just brought it just in case I had to go for the dinner. I'm glad I don't. I don't know anyone there, nor am I in their league. All those Senators, Congress people, graduates of Ivy league colleges. I didn't even graduate college. Which I'm really not proud of. But hey, I still made my way up to the White House. That's got to count for something right. 

Oh, who's that knocking on my door? I get of my bed and open the door.

"Hi, Josh. You clean up nice." I said. He's looking rather ruggedly handsome today. I could just eat him up. But I won't. He's wearing a tuxedo without the bow-tie. Obviously holding it, waiting for me to tie it for him.

"Why aren't you dressed? We have to leave in like 20 minutes." He said rather alarmed.

"I didn't even know I was invited." I said ushering him into my room and taking his bowtie from his hand.

"Donna! You knew about the dinner. Did you want the royal servants at your doorstep reading you an invitation?" Josh asked as I tried to tie the bowtie around his neck. I had to bite my bottom lip as I was just too close to him right then.

"Well, I wouldn't have minded that. Josh, I'll be bored. I wouldn't know anyone there and I'm not a Senator or a Congresswoman or anything like that. I wouldn't have anything in common with them." I said still trying to tie his tie.

"Donna, I'd be bored too. I need you there." Josh said with his whiny voice.

"Josh, you'll be fine. You'll find someone you can argue with and make your points heard loud and clear. And I want to enjoy my night in New York City, the city that never sleeps." I said.

"And what are you planning to do? Wonder around the city alone and get mugged or something?" Josh asked as I finished with his tie.

"Josh, I'll be fine. I won't do anything stupid. Anyway, it is too late for me to get ready anyway." I said.

"Ok, fine. Just be careful okay. Don't stay out late. And bring your cell phone." Josh was so serious saying that it made me laugh.

"Yeah, and don't talk to strangers. I got it, Dad." I said mocking him

Josh just glared at me which caused me to laugh harder.

"I'm glad I'm amusing you." Josh said as he checked himself out in the mirror.

"I'm looking pretty smashing tonight, aren't I?" Josh said still staring at the mirror.

"Yeah, a regular James Bond." I said rolling my eyes. Could that ego of his get any bigger?

"Ok. I'm off. You, sure you'll be okay by yourself?" Josh asked again.

"Yes, Josh." I said showing my annoyance. 

Josh then flashed me a full dimpled smile and left my room. Did he have to smile like that? I was doing relatively fine, with the tux and the cleaned-up look….but that smile totally caught me off guard. I dropped on my bed to take a couple of deep breathes trying to get myself together.

I had an incredible day by myself. The truth is, I was kind of upset to be all alone, roaming around New York City. But I was wrong. I went shopping, well window shopping anyway. I also went to 5th Avenue, Central Park and Rockefeller Centre. All were walking distance from the hotel. I went to a few broadway theaters. The shows I knew were all fully booked considering it was Friday night. So, I bought a ticket to a short musical which had amateur performances from various famous musicals. It was incredibly splendid. 

I came back to my room before 10pm. I really wanted to stay out later but the whole idea of being alone at night, walking on the streets of New York City does scare me. Not just in New York City, walking alone at night anywhere scares me. After that horrible night, I realize anything can happen and it's better to be safe than sorry. 

I'm now in my pajamas and ordered some room service and am watching Casablanca. I ordered a complete three course meal which included a gourmet Italian dinner and chocolate moose. I debated on whether or not to order a drink. I decided against it. I haven't had a single drink since that night. Drinking any form of alcohol tonight would only remind me of the incident. And I refused to let the incident ruin my night here. I ordered some sparkling grape juice though. May I emphasize that the expense of the room service is being taken cared of. 

I'm now tucked in my bed, watching cable TV and eating the last bit of my chocolate moose, which is delectable. Just then, I hear a knock at my door. Damn, the room service guy is early. 

I open the door and find Josh standing with one hand on the door frame. His bowtie and top two buttons were undone. I think my jaw is hanging. He looks more delectable than my chocolate moose.

TO BE CONTINUED….. 


	6. Part 6

Part 6

God, she looks so damn delectable. She's wearing cotton pajamas that have pictures of bunnies and a pair of fuzzy bedroom slippers. She's holding a spoon in her mouth and doesn't seem to be moving. 

"You…you're early. It's only eleven." Donna said still with the spoon in her mouth.

"Donna, why are you sucking on a spoon?" I asked, letting myself in the room with her still standing near the door.

"I was bored. People started to leave as well. So, you must be having the time of your life. Tucked in your bunny pajamas and all." I said smirking at her.

"In fact I did have a great time." She said. She then told him about her night and all the places she went to.

"Wow, sounds like you had a great time. I assumed you would be still out late." I said.

"Well, I got hungry and since room service is free I decided to come back."  

"Leo's going to be sorry this is an all expense paid trip, isn't he? Judging by all the plates and glasses I see. Are you all liquored up?" I asked scanning the room.

"No Josh. I'm not all liquored up. I only had a non-alcoholic drink." She said sounding  quite proud about it.

I don't feel like leaving. I want to spend more time with her. I know, I'm only setting myself up for more heartache. I don't even know why I came to her room. I guess I just wanted to check on her. And also to let her know that I'm back. Now that I'm here, I can't get myself to leave. 

"Hey, are you tired?" I asked her. Why am I getting myself into this???

"No, not really. Why? You wanna prepare for tomorrow?" Donna asked finishing up her desert I presume.

"Nah. I just thought we could go for a drink in the bar downstairs. They have some live music going on." I said. I saw a small orchestral type musicians playing in the hotel restaurant.

"Mmmm….I'm too lazy to get changed." Donna whined. She's even more scrumptious when she's whiny. 

"Aw, come on. How often will you get a chance to be here again? Or anywhere like here for that matter. Come on, just for a short while." I begged.

"(sigh) Fine, let me get changed. I'll meet you downstairs okay?" She said pushing me out of her room.

I'm waiting at the restaurant with a drink. Have I mentioned I'm such a fool for doing this? I mean I created a hole and walked right into it. What are we going to talk about? 

What would I say to……Oh, my!....Oh, wow!....I'm so screwed.

I just saw Donna walking in. She's wearing a very short silver dress which has a few straps holding the dress on her. Wow, the dress is clinging to her in all the right places. How did she manage to do that? A few moments ago she was in bunny pajamas.  Another yet unsolved mystery of Donnatella Moss. Okay, I probably should shut my mouth before I start to drool. I motioned for her to come when she spotted me.

"You look nice, Donnatella." I said trying not to look like a 16 year old hormone-filled juvenile. 

"Thank you." She said as she took a seat opposite me. 

"What drink do you want?" I asked as I signaled for the waiter to come.

"Um…yeah….apple juice please." She said looking at the waiter. The waiter nodded and left.

"Hmmm…if I didn't know any better I would say you are a recovering alcoholic or…pregnant. What's with all the non-alcohol drinks?" I asked her.

"Oh, nothing. We've got a long day tomorrow… starting early as well." 

"Okay, I thought I was the one with the delicate system." I said.

"You are Joshua. That is your one and only drink. I'm not here to hold your head while you puke." She said seriously. I just smiled at her.

We continued chatting about the dinner I attended. I basically told her every detail about it. Yet, another safe conversation. Just then, Donna turned her head towards the orchestra and let out a big sigh.

"What?" I asked.

"Oh, nothing. I just love this song." She said still staring at the musicians with awe. 

I listened to the song. It was 'Earth Angel' I believe. "You want to dance?" I said standing up not waiting for an answer. I held out my hand to her.

She finally looked up at me and simply placed her hand in mine. I swear I could see sparks coming out as our hands met. Well, I could see it in my head.

We went to the dance floor and I held her hand and placed my other hand on her waist. Donna put her free hand on my shoulder and her chin was slightly touching my shoulder.

Oh god. Her smell again. This time I took big whiffs of her. I sound like a dog, don't I? I should not be this to close to her. I'm just killing myself bit by bit, knowing I could never have her. What am I doing? I moved a little away from her causing me to look directly at her face.

"So, why do you like this song?" I blurted out not knowing what else to do or say.

"Oh, it's just some brings back some memories." She said smiling sweetly.

Damn, must be a memory of some old lover. Damn. I brought this on myself. I have no one else to blame but my stupid idiotic self.

"It was a father-daughter dance." She said looking down.

"What?" I asked sounding dumb as usual.

"My father never attends any of the father-daughter functions we had in elementary school. But in the last year, before junior high, he came. Just for a while though. And this song is the only one I've danced to….with my dad." She said softly.

Oh, how I could just kiss her right now. But I won't. I managed to move more close to her. Her head is now resting on my shoulder. Her hand slips away from mine, and it reached my neck. She now has both her hands around my neck!!! I have no where else to place my free hand but on her waist. We are now practically clinging to each other and it would be a wonder if there's any air space between us. 

As the song was ending, I forced myself to slightly pull away from her. But I couldn't move any further, when our faces were barely inches apart. My nose was practically touching hers. Oh, no. There's that magnetic pull again. I couldn't help myself when my lips moved closer to hers. Oh, she's going to end up slapping me for this. 

A few seconds later, our lips met. I gave her very light and soft kiss and she didn't back away. She didn't even move. I was hungry for more. So, I kissed her again, not that my lips went far from hers in the first place. Oh, my god. She's kissing me back!! She tastes so good. I could do this all night. I could do this every single minute of my life!

****************************************

Damn, what the heck am I doing? Oh, man. He tastes so good. There was some form of magnetic force I tell ya! I couldn't help myself than to kiss him back. Oh man, the kissing is getting more intense. I can't stop it! I have to though…..pull back Donna. You can do it!!! Finally, I manage to pull away from Josh. We are still holding each other. I stare directly into his eyes and he's staring back. What am I going to do? Why did I put us in yet another awkward situation? Like we haven't been through enough. We are still drowned in each others' eyes in silent. 

I finally had the strength to take my hand away from his neck and onto his hands which were holding my waist. 

"It's late. We've got to be up early tomorrow." I said so softly, I'm not sure he even heard me. 

"Yeah….yeah….." Josh managed to utter and slips his hands out of my waist as I let go of his hands.

"Good…..night." I said as I walked away from him as he just stood there.

I'm in my room, in my pajamas. I'm pacing around the room. What the hell just happened there? Why don't I have any self control? Look what I did to the poor guy. I can't tease him like that. He was probably getting over his feelings for me and I just completely ruined his recovery. Wait a minute…As I recall I didn't initiate the kiss. He did. He came nearer to me and leaned his lips against mine. So, this is all his fault. Arrrggg!!! As if!! This is my fault as it is his. But it's his heart that is at stake. Well, it's my heart too. I'm still in love with him too. The difference is he doesn't know that. And therefore, I'm the bitch who didn't stop the kiss, giving him hope. And I will break his heart yet once again. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! I wish I was at my apartment so I can actually scream out loud than just in my head.

I'm now laying on my bed, staring at the ceiling. I'm not under the covers and the lights are still turned on. There is no way I'll be sleeping tonight even if I were laying on silk sheets covered with mink blankets and soft pillows. 

"Donna!! Donna!!! Open up!!" I jumped as I heard Josh pounding on my door. 

I opened the door as quickly as possible as I wanted him to stop the pounding.

"God, are you planning on giving me a heart attack!!??" I shrieked as I opened the door.

Josh just practically pushed me out of the way and entered my room.

"Well, do come on in Joshua." I said sarcastically as I closed the door.

"Donna, we need to talk. I can't take this anymore. I just ….I just can't." Josh said as he was pacing in my room rubbing his hands on his head.

"Okay….what do you wanna talk about?" I asked.

"Donna!!" he whined. He looks so adorable. I think this is the first time he has not been  in control of a situation and therefore has no clue on what to do or how to handle it.

I decided to give him a break.

"Okay, okay. Stop pacing or my head won't stop spinning. Sit down." I said motioning him to my bed as I sat on it as well. Probably not the best place to be having this conversation but we both needed to relax I'm sure. I sat on my bed with my legs crossed as Josh sat facing me with his legs on the bed as well.

"Donna…..Donna…..Was it just me, or did you kiss me back just then?" Josh asked staring at me with his puppy dog eyes.

I let out a loud sigh. "It's not just you." I said turning my head downwards.

*****************************************

Okay, did I hear that right? Did Donna confirm that I wasn't hallucinating when I thought she kissed me back? She did! Oh my god she did!! Okay, what am I supposed to say now? I'm been walking around the hotel wondering if I imagined the kiss or something. I just needed to know I was not dreaming that she kissed me back. And now that I know, I don't know what else to say. Apparently Donna doesn't as well. She's looking at the bed sheets and running her fingers on them.

"So, what does that mean?" I asked trying to look into her eyes.

"Josh…….I don't know…" Donna said still not looking at me.

"Donna, look at me." I said lifting her chin up.

"There's a reason you kissed me back. And I know you didn't have a drop of alcohol so that's not it. Donna, I felt like the world was going to explode when we kissed. I felt like we were the only two people in the world and I was ecstatic. Like fireworks everywhere. I dunno….It was just the best feeling I've ever experienced. Please don't tell me you didn't feel a thing.  I mean, did you not feel single thing?" I poured my heart out to her.

*******************************************

I can't do this. I can't look him in the eye and lie again. I mean what reason would I give for kissing him back…so passionately in fact. I can't hurt him again. I can't keep lying to myself and be miserable for the rest of my life. Not after this especially. I know I can't go on like everything is normal this time. It just will not be possible.

I looked at him. I wanted to kiss him again. But he needs to hear what I feel. He needs to hear the truth. I owe him that after all I put him through.

"Josh, I'm sorry but I lied to you. I know I probably put you through hell but I thought it was for the best." I said not knowing where to start.

"What? What are you talking about?" Josh asked looking positively confused.

"That day, in your office when you asked me to look you in the eye and tell you I have no feelings for you. I lied." I said.

Josh looked at me waiting for more explanation I assume.

"Josh, I do have feelings for you. I've felt this way for a very long time but it surfaced after the shooting. And we spent so much time together then. Josh, I fell completely in love with you. And after you came back to work and you were acting as if nothing had changed between us. So, I figure you will never have any romantic feelings towards me and I had to get over you. And then I realize what harms our relationship would cause. I mean it's not just about us Josh. I felt that I needed to lie to you because I figured that's the only way you could move on. I'm sorry I lied to you Joshua. I really did not mean to hurt you like that." I said as tears started rolling down my cheeks. Why can't I control my damn tear gland? It's so bloody annoying.

Josh just stared blankly at me. He hates me. I've destroyed any trust and faith he had in me.  I've let him down. I looked down again in shame.

"Donna, Donna. My Donnatella. I love you so much." I heard Josh say as he put his arms around me and hugged me. 

He's not mad? Why isn't he mad? It feels so good to be his arms. He's rocking me slightly as I placed my head on his shoulder next to his neck as his chin touched my head.

"You are not mad at me?" I asked.

Josh laughed. "How could I be mad at you? I mean, you did put me through torment for a whole month but you wanted to place all the burden on your own shoulders. You thought I would get over you and boy, were you wrong. Donna, I know you are worried about our jobs and the administration but we can handle it. What I feel for you is worth the risk." Josh said. 

"Josh, I know you might feel like that now but I know you. You breath politics. I don't want to be the one who takes that away from you." I said still slightly sobbing.

"Donna, we aren't doing anything wrong. We are two single people who fell in love." 

"Not in the eyes of everyone else. You would be the White House senior staff who couldn't keep his hands off his much younger assistant. And I would be the tart who slept her way into the White House. Let's face it Josh, I don't have any qualifications for them to think otherwise." I said as I tugged him harder.

"First of all, you are not that much younger than me or at least I still look like a young stud." Josh joked causing me to laugh hard between my sobs. 

"Donna, people could be happy for us or better they might not care at all. There are much more important issues going on." 

"I don't know Josh. Forget about just our jobs, what about the administration? This might affect the reelection in addition to the President's MS. I couldn't let that happen. I just won't." I explained.

We held each other a while longer. I didn't want to let go. I was afraid we might never be able to do this ever again.

"Donna, what if I talk to CJ about this? I mean we haven't done anything she'll be mad about. And she does want everyone to go to her first before doing anything stupid, right?" Josh said.

That sounded like a good idea. At least it's the best safe way we can go about this.

"Yeah, that'll be good. I mean if we hide our relationship and some one found out, it'll be the worst thing ever. And if CJ says we can't be together, I guess we could always wait until reelection." I said.

"We'll work this out. I know we will. I promise you that." Josh said pulling me off him, making me face him. 

I simply nodded. Suddenly I'm very aware that we both are sitting on my bed in a hotel room. This can't lead to anything good.

"Okay... Josh, I think you should go to bed. The last thing we need now is a rumor of you hanging out in my hotel room in the middle of the night." I said as he released his grip from me.

"Yeah, you're right." He kissed my forehead and got off the bed.

"Goodnight Joshua." He turned to me and looked deep into my eyes when I said that.

"Sweet dreams Donnatella." He said in a low voice. He smiled at me lovingly and left.

I cannot believe that just happened. We actually are doing this. At least we are going to try. I really cannot comprehend what I'm feeling right now. But I know it's something good that I have not felt in a very long time if ever.

TO BE CONTINUED……


	7. Part 7

Part 7

It's Monday morning and I just came to work. Donna is sitting at her desk, busy with her index cards as usual. We didn't talk much since the night at her hotel room. We didn't want to stir any form of rumors about our relationship and I think we were still kind of adjusting to the fact that we finally bared our feelings for each other. I told Donna  I will talk to CJ at the end of the day. I still haven't decided on how to tell her without causing her to beat me up. 

I cannot believe how happy I feel right now even though I might be smacked on the head countless times in a while. I thought I would never find any form of happiness when Donna told me she didn't love me a month ago. I thought I would end up a lonely old man who once was a powerful politician. Now, I feel like I could concur the world as long as I have Donna by my side. Now, I have a reason to keep on living. I am going make Donna eternally happy. That is if I'm not clogged to death by CJ tonight. Well, if I die tonight, I guess I would die a happy man knowing finally that Donna loves me like I do her. 

Wow, where did the time go? It's past 10 pm. 

"Donna? Could you come in for a sec?" I called out from my office.

"Yeah Josh?" Donna asked me as she walked into my office. I could see she was tired but nevertheless she looks as stunning as ever.

"You should take off. I'm pretty much done except for that one thing." I said.

"What one thing?" Donna asked my positively clueless.

I looked at her. Did she forget? Has she forgotten about us? Did she have a change of heart? Oh my god!!

"The thing Donna. The thing with CJ about…." I said pointing at her and then me.

"Oh yeah. Of course. Sorry. You want me to come with you?" Donna asked as she placed her hand on mine. 

Oh, thank god. She still wants me. I shivered at her touch. I longed for more. I was almost going to reach for her face and kiss her. Just then, she removed her hand from mine.

"No. I should do this alone. And if I fail, you can give it a try." I said smiling.

"Okay. Call me as soon as you get back okay?" Donna said.

"Definitely." I said.

"Do you need a helmet to protect yourself from CJ?" Donna asked smirking away.

"Probably, but I think I'll take my chances." I said laughing slightly.

"Goodnight Joshua. And good luck." Donna smiled at me and left.

Okay. Brace yourself Joshua. It took almost all my might and courage to get to CJ's office. I knocked on her door which was partly open. CJ was sitting at her desk, with her legs on her table.

"Yeah?" CJ asked.

"CJ, you have a minute?" I asked like a school boy at his principal's office.

"Yeah, I'm done anyway." CJ said motioning me to sit down.

"What's on your mind?" CJ asked.

"CJ, I know I'm not going to be your favorite person after this but you did always ask us to come to you before doing anything stupid, right?" I said carefully choosing my words.

"Isn't that the best line to say to the White House Press Secretary? Okay Joshua, give it to me. How bad did you screw up? Or in this case, planning to screw up." CJ placed her legs down from the table.

"CJ, I have fallen in love with someone." I said not knowing where to start.

"What? I didn't know you were seeing anyone. And why would that be a problem?" CJ asked.

I just looked at her.

"Oh, man. You finally realized it didn't you?" CJ asked.

"What?" I asked confused.

"Donna. You finally realize you love her and it took you only….what?.....three and a half years?" CJ asked. 

I'm dumbfounded by her statement. She is a genius, isn't she? 

"How did you…." I muttered.

"Everyone knew Joshua….except the both of you. I mean, I know how dense you can be in this area but Donna, I don't know why she's didn't know it. Speaking of Donna, did you tell her?" CJ said. 

I'm still relatively shocked that I'm not physically injured at this point.

"Oh, yeah. I told her." I said.

"What? You actually told her? When? How??" CJ's voice was getting louder by each word.

I closed her door as I figured her voice is only going to get louder by the second.

"Well, I told her about a month ago." I said.

"A month?? And you are only telling me now??" CJ said almost yelling.

"Keep your voice down, CJ. I didn't tell you because she said she didn't feel the same way. And I didn't do anything about it. And that was it at that point." I explained.

"A month ago? What happened? How did you tell her?" CJ pressed on the issue.

"Well, as I recall. You are the one who gave me the idea. Hmm…I can probably blame this whole thing on you." I said recalling the incident that lead me to confess my feelings to Donna.

"What the hell are you going about now?" CJ said starring at me. Not in a good way.

"Well, you said I overwork Donna and I should treat her dinner at a nice place. And you also said, I could confess that I'm head over heels in love with her." I said smirking, feeling proud of myself.

"Oh, yeah I do recall that. It was a figure of speech, Spanky. So, what was wrong with her anyway?" CJ asked, her was finally starting to quiet down.

"Huh?" I asked not knowing what she is referring to.

"Well, you told me Donna was not being herself at that point. That she was dull and quiet." CJ said.

I completely forgot about that. Why was she so dull and unenthusiastic that time? I have been so wrapped up around my confession for her and how she turned me down that I completely forgotten about it. And Donna seems to be back to normal since then. Wonder what caused that? 

"Ummm….I guess she was tired and I was overworking her." I said not knowing what other explanation I could give CJ.

"Okay, so she said she doesn't have any feelings for you. What happened after that?" CJ asked curiously like I'm providing her with office gossip.

"Well, this weekend, when we went to New York together……Well, basically I asked her again and she confessed that she loves me as well. She didn't say so earlier because she was worried for our jobs and the administration. And she figured I would get over her if she said that she didn't love me at all." I said still feeling the pain that it caused me.

"Wow. I always knew she's the smart one out of the two of you. Okay, did you guys do anything? Like…."CJ said as I cut her off.

"No. I mean we kissed in the hotel restaurant while dancing. But that's it." I said.

"What? Why did you go and do that for??? Did anyone see you?" CJ said her voice getting back to the previous volume.

"Calm down CJ. There was barely anyone there. No reporters, I promise. And, I just couldn't help myself. I really am sorry." I apologized.

"Okay, what's done is done. But I'm not convinced that no one saw you because there was the whole tax conference thing going on. And most of the people involved in that were staying at your hotel." CJ explained.

I sat there patiently as CJ looked like she was cracking her head on how to deal with this.

"Okay, look I want to say that the two of you should keep your paws off each other….at least until reelection. But I know it is too much to ask. I know you two have waited a very long time just to realize and confess your feelings for each other. I don't want to be the one to take that from you. I'll think of something that could make this work. I'll try my best but we have to tell the rest of the senior staff and the President as well." CJ said with a small smile forming on her lips.

"Thank you CJ. Thank you so very much. This means soo much to me. You have no idea." I rambled on.

"Fine. You do owe me one and I will collect. And Josh, I'll only do this if you promise me one thing." CJ said to me.  
  


"Anything. Anything at all." I said.

"Promise me you won't screw this up. Donna is a great woman and one of the kindest and sweetest person I know. And frankly, way too good for you. You just got lucky" CJ said dead serious.

"I know CJ. I know. I promise. She means the world to me." I said.

"Okay then. You have my blessings. I'll come up with a plan by tomorrow first thing. And you have to tell the others. I'll be there when you tell Leo and the President if you want." CJ said.

"Great. Can't wait." I said unenthusiastically.

"Okay, get lost. I want to  pack up and leave." CJ said shooing me to leave.

"All right. Thanks again CJ. You are amazing, you know that?" I said.

"In fact I do. Now scram. Don't do anything stupid in the mean while. And Josh, I'm really happy for both of you." CJ said smiling genuinely. 

"Thanks. Good night." I said as I left her office.

I can't wait to get home and call Donna. I probably should tell Sam as well. He's going to be pissed that I didn't tell him sooner. But he's going to have to deal with it.

*****************************************

I've been waiting by the phone for what seems like eternity. What's taking him so long? It must be bad news. CJ must be pounding his head. CJ might be in the midst of killing him as we speak! Ring!! Ring!!....Damn, I jumped at the sound of the telephone ringing. 

Okay, this is it. My life may fall apart completely and I'll be miserable forever or I'll be the happiest I've ever been. Brace yourself Donnatella. I cautiously picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I said softly and nervously.

"Donnatella?" I heard Josh's voice at the other end. I couldn't make out what he was feeling.

"Yeah, it's me." I said not daring to ask anything further.

"Okay, are you sitting down?" Josh asked sounding careful with his words. This can't be good.

"Yeah, just tell me what happened Josh." I said impatiently.

"Okay. First, CJ didn't kill me. Nor did she whack me over the head." He started.

"Well, okay. So we have you in one piece. What did you tell her? What did she tell you?" I asked.

"I told her the whole truth. From a month ago, when I first told you how I felt until this weekend. She's okay with it. In fact she's truly happy for us. She said everyone knew how we felt for each other except for us. She's kind of skeptical when I said no one saw us when we kissed at the hotel restaurant. So, she said she'll come up with a plan by tomorrow morning and she'll do anything possible for us to be together and work together as well." Josh explained. I was shocked.

"Wow. I'm really shocked. I didn't expect that at all. CJ is something, isn't she?" I said with my voice showing my increasing excitement.

"Yeah, but it's not all good. I have to go tell the others. CJ said she'll come with me when we see Leo and the President as soon as we have a plan." Josh said.

"Okay. So, worse case scenario, Leo kills you." I said as-a-matter-of-factly.

"No, worse case scenario, the press scrutinizes our relationship and air it like dirty laundry." Josh said. My heart sank.

"Josh, if you don't want to do this…if you have second thoughts about this. It's not too late. I'll understand." I said not truly meaning a single word. 

"No. No way in hell Donna. I'm gonna do this. We are going to do this." Josh said firmly.

"Okay. I guess all the excitement begins tomorrow." I said unenthusiastically.

"Yeah…I guess…..Donna?" Josh asked with a change of tone in his voice.

"Yeah?" I asked.

"I really miss you…I'm physically aching to kiss you right now." He said in a husky, yet sweet voice. 

My heart literally skips a beat. I feel flushed right now. How I wish he was here with me…

"Donna?" Oh, I should say something.

"Yeah….I miss you too…..guess I'll see you tomorrow morning?" I said not knowing what else to say. Damn, this is all so new to me. I feel like a junior high girl again. What is wrong with me? I miss him. I should talk to him more…Not end the conversation abruptly!!

"Umm…Yeah….see you tomorrow. Good night, Donna." Josh said obviously disturbed by my previous statement.

"Good night Joshua….I love you." I said trying to make up for what I said.

"I love you more." Josh said. He was definitely smiling wide judging by the sound of his voice. Again, he got me tongue tied. He put down the phone. I'm still holding the receiver with my jaw hanging. Is he always going to have this impact on me? 

I hope things go alright tomorrow. If not, that would be the last time we exchange those words of love to each other. I don't want to even imagine that possibility. 

TO BE CONTINUED…….like it?? Let me know!! Love to get feedbacks or reviews. Feel free to e-mail me!


	8. Part 8

Part 8

Ok. This is it. My very future and happiness depends on this very day. God, I hope this goes all right.

I walk into CJ's office through the door connected to my office. CJ was sitting in her usual position with her legs on the desk and her glasses on her head, reading some report.

"Idiot boy, don't you knock?"

"Claudia Jean, I recall more than several occasions where you barged into my office without the slightest bit of warning." I said sarcastically, like my usual smug self.

"Are you sure you want to be smart with the person who holds your life happiness in her hands?" CJ gave me a don't-mess-with-me-or-question-me look.

"Right. Ok CJ. What's the plan?" I asked taking a seat nervously.

"Well, if we kept this a secret and someone finds out, no matter what we say it'll look like we agree that your relationship with Donna is wrong and that's why we hid it all this while. If we announce your relationship, it would look like we are trying too hard especially since we do not comment on the personal lives of the White House staff. So, I figured we have them ask the question." CJ said getting excited on her last remark.

"What?" I asked completely lost to what she had said.

"Well, there's the State Dinner in a week. Bring Donna and act all lovey–dovey or whatever and the press will surely ask me about it during the briefing. I won't elaborate since we don't comment on your personal lives but I will somehow mention your relationship is approved by the White House and it doesn't affect your working relationship." CJ explained.

"Okay. That sounds good. But CJ, what if they play our relationship like something immoral or…." I started but was cut off by CJ.

"Josh, we would defend your relationship all the way. No matter what happens, we will always be on your side. Besides, even if you get some negative press, I'm certain it would die down especially since I don't thing any of the White House reporters that have been here since the beginning would think any less of your relationship. They like Donna, I doubt they would write anything that would hurt her." CJ said.

"Okay. I hope you're right. So, that's it? We wait until the State Dinner?" I asked getting out of the seat.

"Not so fast buster. Have you conveniently forgotten about discussing this with Leo and the President?" CJ asked.

Damn, and I thought this was it. Oh dear, suddenly I feel like an elementary school boy sent to see the principle. God, my stomach is doing some kind of summersault. I think I might through up any second.

"Joshua! You're turning green." CJ said trying to stop a smirk.

"Not funny CJ." I said.

"Well go see them at the end of the day. You don't want to spend the rest of the day avoiding Leo, right? So, why don't you tell Sam and Toby in the mean time. " CJ 

I nodded and went back to my office. I'm even dreading telling Sam about me and Donna. He's going to be so Sam-like about it especially when I tell him that I confessed my feelings for Donna a month ago! God, this day is just getting better and better isn't it?

It's almost lunch time. I think I'll go see if Sam's free. 

"Hi Ginger. Is Sam available now?" I asked Sam's assistant.

"Umm..Yup, he's free for lunch. You can go in if you want." Ginger said looking at Sam's schedule I presume.

I knock on Sam's door and enter his office.

"Hello Josh. What brings you to this part of town?" Sam asked in his usual enthusiastic voice.

"Ginger said you're free for lunch. Wanna go grab something to eat with me?" I asked trying not to sound like I've got something important to discuss with him.

"Sure. Is there something the matter?" Sam asked. Damn, why is he so observant?

"Yeah. Just need to tell you something." I said.

"Okay. We'll go now. I'm starved." Sam said grabbing his jacket and leading me out of his office.

We end up at a Turkish Café just two blocks down. After Sam and I ordered our food, there was an unusual silence between us.

"So what's up? You said you wanted to tell me something." Sam asked breaking the silence. Well, it's now or never. Brace yourself Josh Lyman!

"Sam, I need to tell you something important. I need you not to interrupt me until I've finished. Just listen okay? It might get shocking but just hold your horses until I'm completely done." I told Sam rather sternly.

"Okay, I promise. Go ahead." Sam said motioning me to begin.

I took a deep breath. I told him about everything from the very beginning which was since Donna took care of me after the shooting. I told him that he was right when he accused me of having more than platonic feelings for Donna. 

Then, I continued about how I confessed my feelings for her a month ago. Sam's eyes were almost going to pop out when I told him that. I glanced him a daring look when he almost said something at that point. Well, then I continued on how Donna said she didn't feel the dame way. And finally I gave him details about the weekend in New York City and my discussions with CJ.

For the longest time, the two of us were silent. I think this would be a record for me and Sam. 

"Okay, you can say something now." I said realizing Sam might have assumed I wasn't done and therefore he wasn't allowed to speak.

"Wow. I don't know where to start. You sprang a lot on me Josh, all at one go. Well, first of all, I would like to express my…my…hurt, that you did not tell me anything earlier. Like, you know, what happened A MONTH ago!! But….I guess you didn't tell anyone else yet except CJ due to obvious reasons. And you do have the whole telling Leo and the President today. I guess I could let you off easy for now. But I'll be all over your back about this before you know it." Sam said.

I felt a big weight on my chest being lifted. That's the Sam I know. He can't be mad for long.

"Thanks Sam. That means a lot to me." I said being uncomfortable with all these open feelings I seem to be sharing.

"So, I'm still shocked Donna fell for you of all people. I mean she's a great catch, she could get anyone she wanted." Sam said.

"I resent that!" I yelled at Sam.

I spent the rest of our lunch bantering and convincing Sam that Donna does love me and I wasn't imagining the whole thing.

It's almost 9pm now and I heard a knock at my office door. 

"Yeah?" I said not really looking up. "Josh?" I heard Donna call me and I instantly looked up. She looked radiant as usual. I saw her the whole day and yet I find her stunning every second I look at her. Okay, I better snap out of it before she realizes she's in love with a lunatic.

"Ah, Donnatella. How nice to see you?" I asked half mocking which caused her to roll her eyes.

"I'm done with the letters you asked me to write. Anything else you need?" Donna said closing the door behind her.

"Well, now that you mention it…" I looked at her up and down.

"Joshua!" She said sternly which caused me to startle a little.

I laughed a little giving her an 'I'm sorry' look. " I talked to Sam. He's really happy for us. He's mad at me for not telling him sooner just as I expected. He's also not totally convinced that you could actually fall for me." I said causing Donna to smile wide. I obviously amused her. 

"Yeah, I'm starting to wonder about that myself." Donna started to tease.

"Don't even go there Donnatella Moss. Anyway, you should probably go home. I have to go talk to Leo and the President. I'm thinking of telling them at one go." I said.

"Well, that's a good idea. No point getting yelled at for the same thing twice. You sure you don't want me to go with you? I mean it's not only your fault you know. I feel like I'm putting all the burden on you and that's not fair." Donna said looking all worried. She's gorgeous when she's worried. Her forehead all crinkles up like a cute bunny rabbit.

"No. I need to do this alone. You can speak to them tomorrow if you want. Don't worry Donna. It'll be okay." I said not convincing myself.

"Okay Josh. See you tomorrow. Call me tonight." Donna said and left.

Okay. This is it. I have to go tell two of the most important men in America that I have fallen in love with my assistant.

I walked to the Oval Office with CJ. She's been great through all this and it is just the beginning.  I felt nauseated walking into the Oval Office. Leo was there with the President.

"Good evening Mr. President. Good evening Leo." I greeted them. So did CJ.

"Ah. Josh. CJ said you had something you had to discuss with me and Leo. Tell us what's on your mind." President Bartlet said while signing some documents.

"Well, Sir. It is sort of a personal matter. You see…..Well….I….Well.." I stuttered not being able to find the right words. Damn, I thought I nailed this and now I'm drawing a complete blank.

"Spill it out Josh. Some of us would like to get out of here sometime today to get some sleep." Leo growled which only made my more nervous.

"Sorry. You see, I have come to realize something about Donna. Well, I realized this sometime ago. But nothing happened. Well, I kinda have developed these feelings for her." I started to ramble something which I'm pretty sure did not make any sense.

"Ah, my boy is all grown up. So you finally realized you are head over heels for Donna." The President said causing me to be stunned.

"You knew Sir? I didn't even know until recently." I said.

"Josh, we all knew. And we knew that you were too dumb and preoccupied with yourself to realize it." President Bartlet continued.

I looked at Leo. And he nodded agreeing with the President.

"Okay, so did you tell her? Or being your dumb self did you skip that part?" Leo asked me. Was I just called dumb twice today in the Oval Office?

"Yes Sir. And she feels the same way. We know this is not the best time to have a relationship. That's why CJ came up with a plan and we want you to hear it." I said.

CJ continued from then telling the about her plan and the State Dinner.

"Allright, it's all set then." The President said.

"Sir ?" I asked not sure what his decision was.

"Josh, you have put your life on hold for too long. You have taken a bullet for us, for Christ's sake. The least you should get out of it is to be with the woman you love. And I know these feelings for Donna is the real thing. So, go ahead with the plan. You have my permission and blessing." The President said.

Wow, a Presidential blessing. Not everyone can say that about their relationships.

"Thank you Sir. I promise, the minute this becomes really hurtful for the administration, I'll resign." I said.

"That won't be necessary. Like I said before, as long as I have a job here, you will too. I ram glad to hear about you and Donna. Your father would've been proud." Leo said 

making me kind of misty.

"Thank you. Thank you Mr. President." I said as CJ and I started to leave the office.

"And Josh. If you hurt her, I'll have the Secret Service behead you." The President said causing me to smirk. When I realized he looked dead serious I just quickly said "Yes, Sir." 

Okay. So far so good. I can relax a little now until the day after the State Dinner anyway.

I really wanted to go to Donna's tonight and tell her the good news face to face. But CJ wouldn't let me. She said any false move from now until dinner would look like we had to come clean about our relationship. I decided I have to be strong until then. It is only a week after all. The longest week of my life.

****************************************************

Josh just called me. I'm ecstatic with the news. I'm also still shocked about the fact that the President and Leo knew how we felt about each other. Were we that obvious? Well, maybe they only know how he felt for me. They didn't imply that I was obvious too. 

Anyway, I'm a little more relaxed today compared to the past days. I truly hope things don't get worse after the State Dinner. Oh no! The Dinner! I have nothing to wear. Oh well, I guess I have to do some serious shopping. That might be fun. I can't remember the last time I bought myself something nice anyway. Well, actually I haven't gone shopping for over a month I'm sure. 

Suddenly, I started to think about the rape. I haven't done anything for myself since the 'incident'. I can't believe my life took such an unbelievable turn the past week. Here I thought there's no way I could find happiness anymore and I could never get over the 'incident'. Thanks to Joshua Lyman, I think I can have eternal joy with the man I love with all my heart and soul. Joshua….Oh dear….I haven't told him about the 'incident'. I don't think I can tell him. It'll be too hard. Maybe I'll have the courage to tell him someday soon. Not too soon. I don't think he'll take it well at all. Oh goodness, I can't do that to him. Okay, Donnatella stop obsessing about this. It would most probably drive me crazy. First I have to get though the State Dinner and whatever comes after that. God I hope that goes well.

I got to work early the next morning. I woke up early feeling nervous about seeing the Senior Staff now that they know about my relationship with Josh. Josh said they are all oddly happy about us but I still need to be sure for myself.

I'm sitting at my desk and saw Leo walking in the bullpen. 

"Hi Leo. What are you doing this part of town?" I asked and immediately felt really silly.

"Oh, I wanted to see you actually." Leo said as be approached my desk.

"Oh? What can I do for you?" I asked as I felt my heart pound harder making me feel a little queasy.

"Well, as you probably know, Josh told us about you two. And I want you to know that I'm very happy for you both." Leo started.

I slowly smiled at him gratefully. "Thank you Leo. I know this is probably the worst time and I'll understand if you think we shouldn't be together." I stated.

"No.. No Donna. I know this is not absolutely great for the administration. But for the two of you, especially Josh, this is the greatest thing that could happen. I've known Josh for a long time, and I've seen him date other women and all. But he has never been this happy before or even truly in love before. He's been surviving the past year because of you Donna. And I'm ever so grateful that you are in his life. There's no way I would stop the two of you from being together. It probably would be a hard road to go through but I do believe that people will realize your love for each other is pure and well…..the real thing I guess. So, anyway, I just wanted to say thank you for taking care of Josh all this time and making sure we didn't loose him. And I'm glad the two of you finally got a clue without having me bang your heads together." Leo said.

I became all misty and had a hard time controlling my tear gland. I can't cry in front of the Chief of Staff for goodness sake. I managed to pull myself together and thanked Leo for his kind words.

The rest of the day was busy with work as usual. I had lunch with Sam and CJ. They both were still unsure that I could actually fall for a moron like Josh. Hey, those were their words, not mine. CJ prepared me on how to present myself during the State Dinner. She also decided that we should go ball dress shopping the next day.

After much pleading to Josh, he finally gave me a three hour lunch break so I can go shopping with CJ. I had to get shoes, accessories and a handbag as well as Josh said he wouldn't give me more than a half hour lunch break for the rest of the week. It was worth it though. I bought the most amazing dress that CJ is convinced that would make Josh's eyes pop out…among other things…I had some extra money that enabled me to afford the dress as I hadn't done much shopping in a while. 

Well, now I'm all prepped and prepared for the dinner. All that is left is attending it and hoping for the best.

TO BE CONTINUED……. 


	9. Part 9

Part 9

"Donna, you look wonderful!" CJ exclaimed.  The other assistants and I were in the ladies room getting all dolled up for the dinner. I'm as nervous as ever. 

"Thank you CJ. You look amazing! You're going to have lots of heads turning your way today, I betcha." I said. CJ did look stunning as always. She wore a blood red dress which had thin straps holding it. It was clinging to her body and it had many layers below the waist reaching the ground. 

"We better get going. I'm sure Josh will need you to tie his bow tie as usual. Get him from the office and I'll see you there." CJ said and then left.

I looked at myself one last time on the mirror. I'm wearing a lavender strapless dress which looks like a corset from the top until my hips. Then, the dress flows down till the ground in a flared way as it had layers inside. The back has cris-cross straps until the waist. I had small diamond droplets for earrings, a diamond bracelet and a simple diamond necklace which was almost like a chocker. Of course, they are not real diamond.  I had half of my hair put of with spikes of hair coming out in all directions. The rest of my hair was just flowing down over my shoulder. 

I'm walking down the bullpen feeling nervous about seeing Josh. This whole day had been so nerve-racking and it's just going to get worse. I see Josh pacing in his office and as expected he has his bowtie hanging around his neck. I entered the office without warning which caused Josh to startle. God, I wish I had a camera right now. CJ was right. Josh's eyes are popping out. I think he's drooling at the moment. It's nice to know I have this kind of effect on Joshua Lyman, political bulldog!

************************************************************

Oh dear god!! It should be illegal for a woman to be so beautiful…Beautiful is not a good enough word to describe how my Donnatella looks right now. She looks magnificent, alluring, gorgeous, stunning, amazing!

"Josh?" Donna called out. I probably should say something instead of just staring at her.

"Yeah, wow. You look…you look…nice." Damn, where the hell did all those adjectives go?

"Thank you Josh, I was expecting something better than 'nice' but that's okay. I could live with just 'nice'." Donna said as she reached for my bowtie and started tying it around my neck. My god, she smells like a meadow!

"No, Donna. You're beautiful! You look…." I started when Donna interrupted me.

"It's okay Josh. I was just kidding." Donna said as she was finishing with my tie.

I needed a few minutes to get myself back together after Donna practically stunned me senseless. I took Donna's arm and we left for the dinner.

When we reached the hall everyone greeted us. We danced, we drank and had a blast as a couple. It felt so good having Donna there as my girlfriend and not just as my assistant. Donna and I were very cozy together. I kept kissing her cheek and holding her arm most of the time at CJ's request. Not that I had a hard time doing that. 

"Hey, guys. Looks like you are having a blast being all cozy and cuddly." Sam said as he walked up to me and Donna.

"I am not cuddly Sam." I said in an attempt to preserve my manliness. 

"Right, whatever. Donna, would you care to have a dance with me. I'm sure you must be fed up of Josh hounding around you the whole night." Sam asked as he held out his hand to Donna. I gave him a daring glance but he didn't look my way. I didn't mind actually. I just wanted to give him a hard time. Donna gracefully took his hand and they proceeded to the dance floor. 

The night went as well as can be expected. All that matters now is what happens in the press room in tomorrow's briefing.  I took Donna home and walked her to her door. How I longed to go in with her but the smartest thing to do now is to go slow. Mainly because we need to project an image of being a newly dating couple. Now that they saw us in the State Dinner, there might be tabloid photographers anyway waiting for any form of scandalous pictures. Damn it, we are not going to give them any. 

I cannot wait for all this to be over, so I don't have to leave Donna at her door. I know I should be patient as we've barely been on a real date. But it's me and Donna. We are pretty much like a married couple already. Without the sex of course. But Donna deserves more than that. I know she confessed her love for me, but she deserves some wooing as well. That's what I'll do while everything is settling down. I'll woo my Donna for being the world's most beautiful, kind and amazing woman. She more than deserves it. And in the process of wooing, I will probably be declared the world's most thoughtful and wonderful boyfriend. I can't wait. 

**************************************************************

I had the most wondrous time tonight. I honestly felt like Cinderella at the ball. Yeah I know that sounds corny. Everyone more than complimented me on my appearance. I had a few men make passes at me but before I could even reject them, Josh would somehow show up at my side shooting them death glances. It was great being Josh's girlfriend and not just an assistant. 

I got up the next morning feeling just as out of this world as I did last night. After breakfast though, reality hit me. The press briefing will be today. Dear God, have mercy on us. I know CJ will handle it amazingly well as always. That's one thing that could put my mind slightly as ease. 

I'm at the office with tons of work as usual which is great as it's keeping my mind preoccupied. 

"Donna…The press briefing." I turned to see Josh sticking his head out of his office. We went into CJ's office and Sam joined us to watch the televised briefing.

I could feel Josh looking at me but I couldn't look back. It'll only make me feel more nervous. The briefing started with CJ's statements as usual. 

The question was asked by Kathy about my relationship with Josh. CJ stated that we have been dating for a week and that the White House doesn't comment on the personal relationship of the staffers. Danny asked if it would affect our working relationship and if I would remain Josh's assistant. CJ simply stated that Josh would be useless without me and we were two very professional staffers. She also stated that everyone in the White House including the President is incredibly happy about us. And that was it.

The next day I came in the office and found all the newspapers I could get hold of. I went straight into Josh's office to get some privacy while reading the papers.

"Hey gorgeous. Watcha looking at?" I look up to see Josh already in his chair with newspapers spread all over his desk. Wow, this is like the only time Josh has been in the office before I had. Except when he spends the night sleeping at his desk. 

I walked quickly next to him to look at the spread newspapers not bothering to read the ones I had in my hand. I read the headlines Josh had circled with a red marker.

'Cinderella Meets Her Prince'. 'Deputy COS Finds His Bell'. 'Love Found in the White House'. Those seem like good titles. But god knows what's written on the articles. I quickly read through all the articles and I cannot believe my eyes. They were all so amazing. They all mentioned Josh being shot and it's wonderful that he finally found love, and that I was by his side when he was in the hospital, and that we finally got a clue that we were meant for each other. I kept shushing Josh every time he tried to talk  

"Hallelujah! There is a God!" CJ came into Josh's office with her hands in the air.

"They were all great articles. Thank god you got shot Josh! There were a few tabloids saying your relationship started long ago and some aired it like an affair but none of the major newspapers did that. So I believe you are safe as long as you follow some rules." CJ said.

"Rules, CJ?" Josh said raising his eyebrows.

"Yes. You have to take it slow. We know you guys are pretty much like a married couple but you need to take it like you are just beginning to date. No affectionate display in The White House out of the ordinary. Just date like normal people for now, okay? You guys owe me big. Just do this and I'll call it even." CJ said practically pleading. 

We agreed with her rules. We owed her that much. I honestly was happy that CJ is making us take it slow because I honestly wouldn't want it otherwise. We still have a lot to talk about and also get to know each other in a slightly different way. 

The next few weeks were great. The news about our relationship died down. Josh and I managed to spend time together between our ever busy schedules. It's great that we actually work together or we will not be spending any time together. If we go out after work or late at night on weekends, Josh kisses me at my door or only comes in for a few minutes. It was hard especially for Josh. He had expressed his frustration at times, but I was actually kind of happy just dating and being wooed. We continued doing this a few more weeks to come. 

***************************************************************

Donna and I have been dating for a month and two weeks and I'm done waiting. Today I'm going to ask CJ if Donna and I could…well….sleep together. I'm longing to hold her and to make love to her. Every night I kiss her goodnight I feel like I'm being ripped apart as I can't just spend more time with her. 

"CJ, I need to have a chat with you." I announced as I barged into her room. 

"Idiot boy. Don't you know how to knock?" CJ said with a rather loud voice.

"Well, you can blame that on my sexual frustration." I blurted out. 

"Oh, that's what this is about? Are you blaming me for your lack of sexual activities." CJ asked sarcastically and seemingly to enjoy this.

"CJ. It's been 7 weeks for crying out loud! I love Donna! Everyone knows that I love Donna. I've been in love with her for more than 3 years! This is 3 years worth of sexual frustration building up!! I could explode any second!" I exclaimed.

"Well, we 'definitely' wouldn't want that happening, would be. You know, this is actually quite funny. I was going to allow you two to do the nasty 2 weeks ago. But since you didn't mention anything, I figured you two could hold it for a while longer. Well, it was fun for me to watch. So it was worth it." CJ said with a wide smile. 

I just could smack HER on the head right now. But I know better than that. I'll take the high road and keep my mouth shut.

"I'm not going to respond to that Claudia Jean. You know why? I'm not going to waste anymore time. I'm going to finish work as soon as I can. And as incredible as I am, I'm going to plan an amazing night for Donna and sweep her off her feet. So, GOODBYE CJ." I stormed out of her office. I swear I could hear her chuckling.

I finally figured out a plan for tonight. And it's amazing if I should say so myself. I'm planning to take Donna ice-skating. I know that sounds so not Josh-like but Donna had been bugging me to go ice-skating some time ago and I just refused. I also got Sam to light up some candles in my place and set up the dinner table. I ordered some Italian food that will be delivered to my place. Sam will set that up too. 

I let Donna go home a little earlier than me and then I picked her up later on.

"Jooooosh!!! Where I we going?? You know I hate surprises." Donna whines. She looks so cute whining like that. I could just lick her up right now. God this is hard. 

"You love surprises!" I contradicted.

"Fine!" Donna said with a pout. I continued driving while enjoying annoying Donna.

"Where are we? This place looks kinda familiar. Oh yeah, I came around here with Kimmy once to go ice-ska…..NO!! No way. Are you taking me ice-skating?" Donna squealed.

"Well you are just going to have to wait and see, won't you?" I said as I parked in the parking lot next to the ring.

"We are!!! We are going ice-skating!! Josh, you hate ice-skating. You always refuse to go!" Donna continued squealing.

We got off the car and I said, "Well, Donna. I thought I'll give it a try….for you." 

Donna walked around the car towards me and practically lunged onto me with her arms wide open. I almost fell back and started laughing away. 

"Okay, Donna. You can let go now before you choke the life out of me." I joked.

"Okay, lets go skate." Donna said as she let go of me. She looked like a little girl in Disneyland I tell you. Wow, I wonder how Donna would actually be in Disneyland. I would love to find out. She's something, my Donnatella. She really can find joy from the little things. That's what I love about her. God, how did I get so lucky. 

"Josh, come on." Donna called out as she went skating away. I could barely move in the ring. I could barely stand up straight. Donna sighed and took my hand. 

"Donna…Donna be careful. Hey! Slow down." I yelled at her as she pulled me across the ring. God, how does anyone do this? It's like walking through a slippery floor. Like filled with banana skins or something.

"You're such a baby Josh. This is easy if you'd just loosen up." Donna said as she slowly let go of me.

Aaaaa…..Aaaa…There I go. "Donna don't let go of meeeeee!" Whoosh…Tump….I'm on the ground. My butt is frozen and I hear Donna laughing uncontrollably. 

"Stop laughing. I'm hurt and frozen here! Help me up will ya!" I said as I brought my hand up. She kept laughing like someone was tickling her. Oh, she's so going to pay for this. Donna put her hand in mine to pull me up but I ended up pulling her down with me. Haha. It's payback time.

"Josh! Why did you do that for? I'm all…" I stopped Donna from talking by placing my lips on hers. 

I kissed her with all my heart. The kiss was so passionate and seemed to have a mind of its own. God, I could kiss Donna for the rest of my life. I cannot believe how satisfying kissing Donna is. It's a million times better than the best sex I've ever had. Slowly, I felt Donna pull away. I tried to lean towards her to continue but she slightly pushed my chest. 

"Josh, I'm kinda freezing here." We laughed and somehow managed to get off the floor. I decided to stay in the corner while Donna went for a spin. I watched her skate. And I have not seen a more beautiful vision. She skates like a swan. She's so graceful.

Donna came to me and held my hand as she led me into the ring again. This time we were really slow and practically clinging to each other. Well, I was clinging to Donna anyway, hoping not to fall again.

We left the ring about twenty minutes later. I gave a miscall to Sam so he can light the candles and leave. Donna had assumed that we were just ordering pizza when we get to my place.

I let Donna go into the apartment before me.

*****************************************************************

I had the most amazing time. I knew there was a reason I loved Josh. I cannot believe he left work early to go ice-skating with me. I had a blast. Most of all I loved watching Josh fall!

We decided to order pizza when we get to Josh's place. Josh said he'll give me a ride home after dinner as I don't have my car with me. 

We just reached Josh's apartment and I walked in. Oh…my….god…There are candles everywhere. And the dinner table is all set up with a wine bottle in a bucket of ice and two candles on the middle of the table. I heard soft jazz music playing in the background.

"Oh….Oh wow…Josh!" I said as I turned to look at him. He was leaning on the door frame with his hands in his pocket smiling softly at me.

"How? When?" I said watching his smile grow wider until his dimples appeared.

"Well, I just worked some of my magic." He said as he walked towards me. He leaned towards me and kissed me lightly on my lips. I didn't really respond to his kiss as I was still shocked.

"Why..why are you doing all this? First ice-skating, now this…Are we celebrating something?" I asked while walking to see what food was set on the table.

"Well, it is our one month and two weeks anniversary." Josh said as he followed me. I laughed.

"Josh, gourmet Italian food and champagne? You really outdid yourself. Are you sure you didn't have any help?" I said knowing that someone had to help him to light the candles and set up the food which was still warm.

"Well, I may have gotten a little help from Sam. But I planned it all myself. All my ideas." Josh said sounding pretty proud of his independent planning. He should be proud.

We had the most amazing dinner. It seemed better than any five star restaurant. The food was delicious and so was the champagne. I helped Josh clean up even though he practically forced me not to. 

I then went to sit on the couch while Josh dried the dishes. I heard the music getting louder.

"Donnatella Moss, may I have this dance with you?" Josh asked me as he gave me his hand. I grinned widely and took his hand. 

We danced really slowly to Diana Krall's version of 'They Can't Take That Away From Me'. I clung to him with both my arms around his neck. When the song almost ended, Josh brought his hands to my face and started kissing me. The kisses became more and more intense. God, is it hot in here? Josh is slightly pushing me and we are headed towards his bedroom I believe. Suddenly Josh stops kissing me. I open my eyes and see flower petals on the bed and some candles lit as well. Wow…okay...now I get what the whole incredible date was about. We can't do this. I know how long we have been dating but we promised to follow the rules. 

"Josh. CJ…The rules.." I said shaking my head. Josh shook his head and walked towards me.

He placed his finger on my lips and said, "I talked to her today. It's okay. She said we could. In fact we COULD two weeks ago but she was enjoying watching us suffer." Josh said.

I smiled at him. I can't believe I'm going to make love to Josh. Finally. I'm ready and this has been such an amazing day. And the only thing that could make it complete is to make love to him. 

I leaned towards him and whispered, "You are amazing. I love more every day. When I think I can't love you any more, you prove me wrong. I'm so lucky to have you." 

"No. I'm the lucky one. I don't know what I did to deserve you. I've never loved anyone as much as I love you. I don't think I even actually truly loved any woman before. Heck, I don't think I even knew what love is until I met you, Donnatella. You….you are my heart, my soul, my everything." Josh said causing me to giggle at the end.

"That's a Barry White song sweetie." I said. Josh laughed a little and we continued to kiss slowly. Josh started to kiss my check and then filled my face with slow soft kisses. 

I took of his shirt off his back and he started unbuttoning my blouse. I unbuckled his belt and he pushed his pants down revealing his boxer shorts. We then fell back on his bed with him on top of me. Josh stared kissing my neck. God that feels soooo good. Wow, the sensation I felt was indescribable. 

I slowly closed my eyes and moaned…………………………Oh god….No…No…He's hurting me. God, it hurts so much. I can't get of him off me. I can't move. He's raping me. No!! God, please help me. 

"No. Stop it. No. Stop… Get off me." I tried to say but I think it sounded too faint like I have no energy left.

I have to push him off. I have to use all the strength I have. The pain is unbearable. 

"Aaaargh." I groaned as I managed to push him off me. I got off the bed as quickly as I could.

"Owww!!! What the….Donna!!!! What did you do that for?!" 

I turned to see Josh on the floor rubbing his head. Oh my god. It's Josh. Oh god. It was just images of the rape that I saw. This could not get any worse! 

"Sorry…sorry…I can't do this….I can't do this…..I'm soo sooo sorry." I said trembling uncontrollably as I button up my blouse.

"Donna? I thought you wanted this! What the hell are you talking about? Where are you going?" Josh said as I stormed out of his room.

Where the hell are my shoes? I saw Josh struggling into his pants as I grabbed my handbag. Ah, my shoes. I grabbed them and ran out of his apartment.

"Donna!!! Donna wait!!!" I heard Josh yelling and heading towards the elevator where I was waiting. I can't talk to him now. I'm taking the stairs. I ran towards the fire escape and started running down the staircase.

TO BE CONTINUED………. 


	10. Part 10

Part 10

What have I done? God, I shouldn't have forced her! I think I heard her say 'no' and 'stop' faintly but I didn't think she meant it that way. I honestly thought I was arousing her. Oh god, I must have scared her half to death. I'm such an asshole!!

"Donna! Don't go! I'm sorry." I yelled as I struggled into my pants and started zipping it up. She's running down the stairway. I didn't bother to put on my shirt. God, this could not get any worse. I'm running after her. 

"Donna wait! Please!!" I shouted again as I saw her a couple of flights down. I ran with all my might trying not to slip and fall. I notice Donna tiring down. I run even faster.

She is almost at the bottom of the last flight of stairs and I was just a few steps behind her. I leapt and caught her arm as she reached the bottom floor. She turned back and jerk away from me but I didn't let go. Oh no! There are tears streaming down her face. Her eyes look bloodshot red and filled with fear. I made my Donnatella afraid of me. I slowly release the grip I had on her arm. 

"Donna….Donna….I'm so, so sorry. I heard you say no. It….it just didn't register...I didn't think you meant it that way. I didn't mean to force you or hurt you. You've got to believe me. I…I thought you wanted this as well…I really did…" I started mumbling. 

"No...No Josh. It's not your fault. It really isn't. I just …I just… (sigh). I swear to you, you didn't hurt me. It's my fault…I'm the one who should be sorry." Donna said as she slowly placed a hand on my cheek.

I brought my fingers to her face and wiped away her tears. I brought her down to sit on the last step with me.

"Then…What happened? I thought you wanted this." I said as I really didn't understand what was going on.

"Josh…Josh…I did want it. I do. It's just …I guess I'm not as ready as I thought I was." Donna said with a single tear rolling down her cheek. I leaned in and kissed the tear away.

"Donna, you looked terrified. You were trembling. You still are. I would have stopped if you asked me to again. Why were you so afraid of me? Don't you trust me??" I asked her as I held both her hands.

She looked down. I couldn't read her. Could she not trust me? That doesn't make any sense. 

"I trust you Josh. I do. This has nothing to do with you. I just…….Could you please take me home?" Donna asked as she looked up. I didn't respond to her. I was still so damn confused.

"I could take a cab, it's okay." Donna said in response to my silence as she stood up.

"Stay here. Stay with me tonight. We don't have to do anything….You can stay in the guest room if you like. Just stay and talk to me." I pleaded to Donna.

"No…I really need to go Josh. Please understand. I can't do this right now. I really can't." Donna said.

I decided she'll talk to me when she's ready. I don't want to push her to talk to me no matter how much I want to know what's going on with her.  

"Okay. I'll send you to your place." I said. 

The ride to Donna's place was silent. We didn't say much to each other. I walked Donna to her door.

"Donna, I'm always here if you need me. You can talk to me about anything. I really hope you know that." I said to Donna as I took her face in my hands.

Donna held my hands which were on her face and slowly pushed them away.

"I do know that. Goodnight Josh." She said and kissed my hands.

I watched her close her door behind her. I waited until I hear her lock all the knobs. 

I hope she's okay. I spent the whole night wondering what was going on. I finally think I figured it out. She probably just wasn't ready to do this. Especially since she had no idea it was coming. We didn't discuss it or anything. 

I guess planning a perfect evening for her might have made her think that I planned it all just to sleep with her. I don't blame her. It probably brought back bad memories of all the gomers she dated especially Dr. Freeride who all only used her. I need to take a step back. I shouldn't rush this. The moment CJ said we could sleep together, all I was thinking is that I can finally sleep with Donna. It never occurred to me to think about how she felt and that we never really discussed about it. We didn't talk about safe sex or anything like that. This is my fault. Well, I'm going to make this right again. 

The next morning at work, I saw Donna already at her desk. I walked up to her.

"Morning. How're you doing?" I asked her slowly not to startle her.

"Oh hi. Um…I'm okay. Margaret called a few minutes ago. The Staff Meeting has been brought  forward to 8.00am." Donna said to me and continued doing her work.

She probably still feels awkward about last night. I should leave her alone for now.

"Hey, Josh. Come into my office a while, will you?" I looked up to see CJ at my office door.

I followed her into her office. "Yeah, what's up?" I said as CJ shut her door.

"So???" CJ asked with a grin and with curiosity written all over her face.

"So…..what?" I asked her wondering what this is all about.

"So..tell me what happen last night? With Donna? Did you to do the nasty? How was it?" CJ said enthusiastically.

"Ummmmm……It was a long night…We were tired…." I said not knowing what else to explain.

"What? No way. You were all so excited and you had everything planned. Sam told me about the candles and flowers, and the music. Come on. Tell me! You don't have to give me every detail if you don't want to." CJ said.

"CJ…. We really didn't. Okay? Don't ask me why." I said and then left.

*************************************************************

Last night was perfect and I ruined it. I just couldn't go through with sleeping with Josh. I honestly could feel the rape all over again. I guess it was my own fault. I have basically suppressed all my emotions on the rape and it all came out last night. It's probably because I didn't talk to a counselor or anyone else about it besides Kimmy. Even with her, I didn't really discuss it or open up much. I honestly believed I was ready to sleep with Josh but I guess I was completely wrong. 

God knows what he thinks went wrong. Knowing him, he's undoubtedly blaming himself. I really can't deal with this now. I hope he won't push me to talk about what was wrong. I wanted to tell him last night but I just couldn't. I think it would hurt too much especially right after all the images I saw and felt. 

It's been a few days since that night. Josh and I haven't spent much time with each other. It was mainly because of the amount of work we had to do due to the tobacco case Josh had to deal with. I also say tell Josh that I'm tired or have some other work to take care of so that I didn't have to spend too much time alone with him. I know this hurts him. He's been incredibly kind during this time. He didn't push me or force me to explain what happened to me. He just assured me that I could always come to him whenever I'm ready. We just shared simple slow and soft kisses but nothing more than that. I really don't know how to deal with this. I'm so afraid the images would come back if I get more physical with Josh. And I couldn't do that to him again. I need to deal with this and I need to deal with it fast.

One afternoon, when Josh was over at the hill CJ called me to her office.

"Donna? Sit down. I need to talk to you." CJ said as she motioned me to take a seat.

"What's up CJ? Is there something the matter?" I asked CJ who looked rather worried and concerned.

"Donna, I got a call from Jane Worthington, a reporter from The Post. She asked me something rather disturbing. I was rather shocked, so I said I'll look into it." CJ started.

"Okay? Do you need some help?" I asked her. 

"Donna, Jane is a crime reporter. One of her friend has a daughter who went to a night club called 'Margaritas' few nights ago. Donna, she was date raped that night." CJ said.

A million things are going through my mind right now. "Oh no. Is she okay?" I asked.

"She's okay. She's not that injured or anything. She was drugged and taken to her own apartment and raped. She doesn't remember anything though because of the drug." 

My eyes are growing wide. My heart is beating faster by the second.

"Donna…Jane is investigating this case as a favor for her friend. She looked through other date rape cases to find any similarities with this one. And she found about three others that occurred in the past year in the same DC area. Those three cases had the most identical police reports as this one. Donna, one of those cases which occurred about four months ago, the victim had your name…Donnatella Moss. I told Jane, there could be other people with your name. And she said the description of the victim fit yours. I told her I'll look into it." CJ explained.

Oh no. Why is this happening now? As if I don't have enough to deal with. I think I'm turning blue. God, I feel like the room is rotating.

"Donna? Is there something you want to tell me?" CJ said trying to look at me as I was looking down.

I looked up and CJ gulped. She knew. It was written all over my face.

"CJ…." I didn't know what to say.

"Donna. It's okay. We don't have to do this here. Why not we go out for dinner tonight? Say, Italiano's at 8pm?" CJ asked as she touched my hand lightly.

"Ok. I'll see you then." I said and left CJ's office.

I walked back to my desk like a zombie and continued my work. I know what I have to do. I have to tell CJ the whole truth. God, I hope this won't be plastered all over the news. I'll do anything for it not to be. I guess it's time anyway. All secrets have to come out eventually. 

"Doooonna !!!!!" My head snapped to see Josh standing right at my desk.

"Josh! Why are you yelling? I'm right here!" I said feeling rather annoyed.

"I'm yelling because you didn't hear me calling you for the first five times." Josh said with his eyebrows raising.

"Oh. I'm sorry. My mind has a million things in it. I'm really sorry. Is there something you need?" I asked.

"It's okay. I just wanted to ask you for dinner." Josh said.

"Oh, sorry. I've made plans with CJ." I said.

"Oh. Can I come along then?" Josh said as he slowly smiled showing his dimples. God, I miss him.

"Well, CJ and I were planning to spend some time alone. You know, for some girl talk. We'll go out tomorrow night." I told Josh.

"Oh….Okay….That's fine. I'll get Sam and we'll hang out at my place or something."

"Yeah. That'll be good." I said.

"Are you sure you're okay? Care to share one of the million things in your mind?" Josh asked me.

"Oh. No it's nothing. Just planning some work for tomorrow in my head. Don't worry about it." I lied. I hate lying to Josh. I shouldn't lie to Josh. 

"Oh, okay then." Josh said and he went into his office. He looks depressed. And I know it's because of me. We are getting more and more distant from each other and it's all my fault. I have to tell him. I'll talk to CJ today and tell Josh about the whole thing as soon as I can or else I might lose him. And I can't risk that.

Whoa! Look at the time. It's almost 8pm. I should pack up and go to CJ's office. CJ and I left about 10 minutes later. We ordered our food and waited for the drinks to arrive. 

"Donna. I just recalled what Josh had said to me a few months ago. You know, when he first told you he love you? He had talked to me that day asking me if I knew what was wrong with you. He said you seemed dull and distant. Not quite yourself. And I was just wondering if that was when….." CJ said carefully choosing her words.

"Ummm…." I don't know where to start.

"It's okay Donna. You take your time. I have no right to rush you or force you to tell me anything you don't want to." CJ said as she softly tapped my hand.

"No. I want to tell you. I need to tell you. I just don't know where to start." I said honestly.

"How bout from the very beginning?" CJ said.

That was the best thing to do. I started telling her from the time I was staying with Josh after the shooting. I told her how I felt for him then and how much he hurt me when he first returned to work and went on as if there was nothing special between us. Then I continued telling her about Kimmy dragging me to the club. And then I told her what happened at the bar and next morning. I watched CJ's eyes grow wide. I could feel the anger radiating from her. She squeezed my hands when I told her about my body and what I felt and the images I saw. I continued with the incidents at the hospital and the police report. I also told her there was nothing much the police can do as there was no semen found and I couldn't remember a thing about the rapist.

"Oh my god, Donna. I'm so, so sorry. I had no idea. Are you okay?" CJ asked and I could see her eyes filling with tears.

"I'm okay CJ. It's been a while now. Well, at least I though I was okay." I said looking down and pulling my hand away from CJ's grip.

"Why? What happened?" CJ asked.

I sighed aloud.

 "I basically didn't deal with it CJ. No one knows about this. Not even Josh. Only Kimmy but I didn't even talk to her much about the 'incident' after going to the hospital. That's why I was so gloomy and not myself for weeks. I just wanted to be left alone. I wanted to just be busy with work and not socialize or anything. During that time I couldn't feel much emotions and I kept thinking about how and why I should get over my feelings for Josh as it was the only thing that could keep my mind off the rape. I figured as I didn't really have much emotions then, I could destroy whatever feelings I had for Josh before I start feeling again. Boy, was I wrong. And then Josh told me he loved me and I couldn't say I loved him back because I just didn't have any real feelings then and my mind was filled with all the negative things that could come about if we were to have a romantic relationship. Later, when he asked me to look him in the eye and tell him that I don't love him, all my feelings came back. All I wanted to do was to pounce on him and to kiss all over his face." I said causing CJ to snort.

"Boy, that's an image!" She said and chuckled a little. I smiled.

"Yeah, well. Anyway, I lied again because I didn't want to hurt his job or the presidency. Then, a month later we went to New York and I just couldn't restrain myself. With his tux and his bow tie hanging around his neck…" I laughed.

"Okay, okay. Spare me the details. I pretty much know what happened after that anyway. So, Josh doesn't know any of this?" CJ asked.

"No…..I feel awful about it. I wanted to tell him. But I didn't know how. I was...am afraid that I would lose his trust. I mean, I should have trusted him enough to tell him what happened….at least when we got together. It's just that working out our relationship was complicated enough. I didn't think it would be a good time to tell him about it. But I guess that came back to me and bit me on the ass." I said annoyingly.

"What? What do you mean?" CJ asked.

"The other day, we were going to…..well…Josh came and talked to you if we could, you know.." I said hoping CJ would get the idea.

"Oh yeah, yeah. But you didn't…that night anyway." CJ said as my eyes grew wide. That knuckled-head Josh told CJ what happened that night? 

"He told you?!" I kinda shrieked in a whispering sort of way.

"Not really. Well, I knew he was planning it with Sam and the candles and stuff. And I was teasing him and asking him how it went and he got upset. He just said nothing happened and he didn't want to talk about it. I was really confused because I though he planned a great night. So, what happened?" CJ asked curiously.

"Well, we were going to. I wanted to. I thought I was ready. And everything was so perfect. And we were…. making out on his bed. I closed my eyes and CJ….It was the worse thing ever. I thought it was happening all over again. The rape. I could feel that awful excuse of a man hurt me and I didn't know where I really was. I saw all the images as before. I got so freaked out and pushed Josh away. I was trembling so much, it took me a while to realize it was Josh and I was at his place. Then I just ran out of his apartment and Josh caught up with me. He thought it was all his fault and he pushed me too hard. I told him it wasn't his fault and I just wasn't as ready as I thought I was. Since then, things have been quite distant between us. He hasn't really asked me what was really wrong with me that night. I guess he just wanted to give me some space."  I told CJ.

"Wow. This is just a lot to take in….Donna, you have to tell Josh. The further you postpone telling him, the worse it gets." CJ said. 

I know she's right. I should tell him especially since a reporter now knows. 

"I know. I promise I will…CJ, now that this reporter knows…..What if Josh finds out from someone else? What if she prints the story and oh god! CJ, is there any way she could not print my name. CJ…I just can't live with that. With where I work and whom I work with…I just wouldn't be able to handle that…" I said. I think I'm loosing it again.

"Don't worry Donna. I'll talk to Jane. I doubt she'll let this go but if you could talk to her and tell her yourself what happen to you I'm sure she'll leave your name out of it. She'll probably mention the incident but your name will remain anonymous. I promise Donna." CJ said. 

"Thank you CJ. I hope I didn't make things worse for you or anyone else by keeping this to myself." I said.

"No, Donna. You have every right to keep this private. What happened to you is just so unimaginable. The fact that you handled this all alone by yourself….it's unbelievable. I wouldn't be able to do it. You are so strong Donna. You can handle whatever comes next." CJ said.

Hearing such words from CJ Cregg is just so inspiring. She's honestly the strongest and most amazing woman I know. 

"Thank you CJ. Do you think they'll be able to catch the guy? I mean if it is the same guy that was involved in these rape cases. There's barely any evidence that could lead the police to find the guy." I asked CJ.

"Donna, I will do all that is in my power to make this guy pay for what he's done to you and the other women. Jane is an amazing crime reporter. We'll work with her to catch this bastard. He's not going to know what hit him. God, he'll wish he was literally burning in hell after WE are through with him." CJ said angrily.

I smiled at her and hoped she'll be right. Well, I guess what I'll have to do for now is just to let Josh know what's going on. Boy, I wonder how that'll go about…..

TO BE CONTINUED….. what did you think?? Excited to find out Josh's reaction? Give me feedback guys!!! More reviews!!


	11. Part 11

Part 11

Okay. Today's the day. I'm going to tell Josh everything tonight. CJ had arranged a meeting between me and the reporter, Jane Worthington for tomorrow afternoon. I hope Josh will not think that I had to tell him about the rape and everything because of this reporter. 

"Josh?" I called out softly as I entered his office.

"Yeah?" Josh answered while looking at some reports.

"Can I come to your place tonight? I'll bring some dinner along." I said.

Josh looked up to me and smiled. I knew he was happy as I hadn't initiated any sort of date between us since the night I ran out. God, how I'm going to disappoint him again with the news I'm going to tell him.

"Yeah. That'll be great. We'll go straight to my place after work." Josh said.

"Okay. See you then." I said.

I bought some Chinese take-out on the way to Josh's place. I decided we should eat first before I tell him anything. We don't want the food to go to waste, do we? 

We were just talking about work stuff during dinner. After cleaning up Josh sat on the couch and turned on the tv. I walked passed him to go to the other couch but he pulled me towards him. I landed half on top of him. He pulled me closer and started kissing me. Great….This is soo not what I had in mind. I've got to stop this. I slowly pushed him away. 

"Josh. I'm sorry….I want to talk to you about something." I said.

"Aww..Come on! Why talk when we can do this?" Josh joked and tried to kiss me again.

I shoved him gently again.

"Josh…it's about what happen that night when we were…and I ran away." I started. Josh's face became serious and he let me go. I got up and sat on the couch across him.

"Josh, what I'm about to tell is going to be really shocking. I don't know if you'll be able to handle it. I don't know if you're going to be absolutely mad at me. So, before I start I want you to know how much I love you." I said.

"Donna, you're scaring me. What is it?" Josh said. I could feel the nervousness in his voice.

"Josh, it's a really really long story and I want to tell it without any interruptions. I know it is too much to ask especially with what I'm about to tell you….but if you'll let me tell you the whole thing without stopping me…I'll be truly grateful." I said to Josh knowing there's almost zero chance that he'll just keep his mouth shut when I tell him about the rape.

"Okay, now you're really freaking me out! (sigh) Okay...I'll try to keep my mouth shut and listen." Josh said.

I started from the very beginning, since the time I lived with him after the shooting. It's a good thing I told CJ everything as now I pretty much have had a run through of what I want to say to Josh. I continued telling him about the morning after the night I went to the club. I saw his eyes filled with terror as I told him about the images I saw. 

"Donna….Oh my God…Donna…Why..why didn't you tell…." Josh started and I stopped him.

"Josh..please! Just listen." I said. I knew he would stop me at that point. He kept quite when I stopped him. I could see him shaking a little bit.

I then told him about the visit to the hospital, what the doctor concluded and the police report. I couldn't stop Josh from talking at that point.

"Donna…GOD! How could you not tell me? This was over four months ago!!" His voice started to rise. He held his the top of his forehead with both of his hands and got off the couch. 

"I'm going to kill that bastard. That…that fucking son of a bitch!!! My god….those were the bruises you had on your hand that time. You said it was nothing." Josh said angrily. Oh no…I don't want him to lose it now.

"Josh…honey please calm down. I really need you to listen to me. I need to tell you everything…...Please…" My voice cracked slightly when I spoke.

Josh walked around a little and then came back to the couch. I explained to him that, that was the reason I was so not myself for a few weeks. I told him how I felt when he told me he loved me and how I lied after that. I told him everything was true about what I said to him about the doubts I had on our relationship. I just didn't tell him that recovering from the rape was also one of the reasons I didn't want to have a relationship with him. 

Finally I went on telling him what I felt the night we almost made love. His eyes grew wide again. I stopped talking. We sat there in silence for a while.

"Donna…How could you not trust me? Why couldn't you come to me earlier? At least after we got together…" Josh said softly. I could hear the hurt in his voice. All I want to do now is hold him in my arms and cry together. But I don't as being near me now is probably the last thing on Josh's mind. 

"Josh…I do trust you. With all my heart. I didn't tell you at first because our relationship was complicated enough with the press and the administration and all. We had enough to deal with. Part of me almost didn't think about the rape anymore because I was sooo happy being with you. And everything was sooo amazing. Josh, I didn't tell anyone about it then. I just couldn't. It would become more and more real if I were to talk about it. I guess what I did was not the best thing because of what had happened when we were about to make love. Then I realized I should've told you. I just didn't know how. I already hurt you more than enough the night I ran away. You probably blamed yourself about it." I said and my tears finally came out. 

I was wondering how long it would take for my tear gland to start failing on me this time.  I wiped away my tears with the back of my hands. Josh just sat there watching me. I know he hates to see me cry. That's why it broke my heart even more when he didn't come and console me. God, I hope he finds it in his heart to forgive me. 

"Josh…there's more." I started as I watched Josh take a deep breath.

I told him about the reporter and that I told CJ about the whole thing yesterday. I also told him that I'll be talking to the reporter tomorrow to help her with the investigation and in return she won't reveal my name. 

"You told CJ before you told me? Is that why you're telling me now?! Because you have to? Because some reporter from The Post knows? Were you afraid I'll find out through the news or something?? My god…you were never going to tell me, were you?" Josh said angrily. 

I could sense hurt more than anger through his words. I knew this would happen. Now, he doesn't trust me. God, could my life get any worse?

"Josh, you know that's not true. I was going to tell you. If the whole reporter thing didn't happen I might have even told you yesterday. You've got to believe me. I just needed time." I said looking straight into his eyes. 

There was another long pause. Josh stayed in his same position on the couch staring into space. I honestly can't read him right now. I shouldn't push him to talk about it or he'll end up saying something he'll regret. He needs time to process the whole thing. I owe him that much.

"I should leave." I said softly and got off the couch. Josh didn't look at me. 

I waited a few seconds on my spot but he didn't say a word. I walked to the door and opened it and Josh still didn't say anything or even looked my way. I was going to break down again. It took all my might, but I managed not to cry. I held my tears until I got to my apartment. I didn't let myself cry in the car for the fear of blurring my vision while driving.

I was sobbing away like a lost girl as I got ready to go to bed. I honestly don't know what particular thing I'm crying about. There's just so much I've been suppressing inside of me I think it all came out tonight. 

I'm under my covers trying to sleep but I can't stop crying. Goodness, I can hardly breathe sobbing through my tears. I think I could puke any second. I went to my bathroom coughing away and breathing like I was wheezing. Is god trying to kill me as slowly and painfully as possible?!!

*****************************************************************

I just cannot comprehend what Donna had told me. How could she not tell me? How can she keep a secret like this for so long? I want to kill that mother fucking asshole who did this to her. If I get hold of this bastard I could just….Aaaargh….

I need to talk to someone before I break down. It's too late to call Stanley. I don't want to bug Sam because I have to tell him the whole story and I'm not up to that. CJ is the only one I can call since she knows everything. 

"Hello? This better be some national emergency!" I hear a sleepy CJ on the end of the line.

"CJ. It's me." I said.

"Josh? What do you want? You sound awful!" CJ said sounding a little bit more awake.

"CJ. Donna told me what happened. The whole thing. I just…I just can't deal with it. I needed to talk to someone. I think I might do something I will regret. And you are the only one who knows the whole story." I started to explain to CJ.

"Josh. I'm sorry…..You want me to come over? Where's Donna?" CJ asked.

"No, don't come over. Just talk to me over the phone. Donna went back to her place." I said.

"Is she okay?" CJ asked.

"CJ, she lied to me!! We've been together for almost two months and she didn't say a word to me. She ran off when we were almost going to make love and didn't bother to tell me the truth!! And now, with this reporter knowing what's going on, she tells me! I mean, for god's sake, she told YOU before she told ME! 

CJ, how could she not trust me? I could have helped her through it! I could have pushed for further investigation so that low-life scum would be found and gotten what he deserves!! CJ, after what've we've been through to actually have this relationship, how could she not trust me??!! How could I trust her now if she couldn't even tell me the truth all this while??? I mean for god's sake….." 

"Stop it!!" I heard CJ yell and I stopped.

"Would you just listen to yourself????? I, I, I. That's all you're thinking about!! Do you have any idea what Donna's BEEN through??? What she's going through??? Did you ever just stop and think about her for a second??? SHE WAS RAPED, JOSH!! Whether she remembers the whole incident or not, this is possibly the worst thing a woman can go through!! It's worst than being beaten up half to death!! 

You know when she talked to me yesterday, all she was thinking about was you. How she hated not telling you. How much she didn't want to burden you when you've got so much else to deal with. She wanted to tell you Josh, in fact I'm sure she would have told you today even if Jane didn't call me. She didn't know how to tell you. Plus, she didn't want you to think she didn't trust you enough to tell you earlier. And she also was worried that'll she'll lose your trust because of this. All I could think of was that she was way too paranoid. I didn't think you were low enough to think such things of her. But I guess I was wrong. 

Josh, she didn't LIE to you. She needed to tell you when she was ready and also when she thinks the time was better for YOU!" CJ yelled into the phone.

I didn't say anything. There's just too much that I need to sink in.

"Josh? Are you there?" 

"Yeah….yeah…."

"Josh, Donna loves you so damn much. Honestly, I have no idea why. A part of her was taken away from her when she was raped. She will never get it back. She probably feels incomplete and not good enough to make love to you or have you make love to her. You have to prove her otherwise. What did you say to her when she told you all this?" CJ asked.

"I didn't say much. I asked her how she could not trust me enough to tell me earlier. I accused her of finally telling me because she had no choice since this reporter knows about it. God…..I didn't even look at her or say anything when she left." I said sheepishly. 

"Josh…Josh…Did you even think to ask her how she was? Or how she was dealing with all this alone? No therapist, no nothing! Remember when you had your PTSD, you kept it to yourself! You didn't tell anyone Josh. You treated everyone around you like shit and only Donna figured out what was going on with you. She didn't judge you. She wasn't mad at you for being mean to her. Instead, what did she do? She took care of you. Took you to the hospital on Christmas for god's sake. 

Donna wasn't yelling or being mean to everyone when she was dealing or rather 'not dealing' with the rape, she was just distant and kept it all to herself. She thought she was over it but she was wrong. Finally, she told you. Do you have any idea how much guts and courage that took? And you just basically gave her a slap right across the face!! She didn't do anything wrong Josh. You probably just broke her heart into a million pieces and once again she has to deal the torment alone." CJ said in one breath I think.

We didn't say anything for the longest time. What CJ said to me had just sunk in my thick skull. God, I'm a jackass!!!! How could I be so cold and heartless to my poor Donna?!! How am I ever going to fix this? CJ's right, Donna didn't do anything wrong. I have to make this right for her. 

"CJ…..I'm sorry…I didn't realize…or see it that way.." I started.

"Don't tell ME that jackass. Go tell Donna, if she'll ever forgive you!" CJ barked back.

"Right…right…I promise I'll fix it…I'll make her better CJ! I'll do whatever it takes." I said.

"You better. Or you will be sorry you were ever born, mi amore." CJ said.

"CJ, I'm so angry at that piece of shit who did this to her. I don't know where to place my anger. I think that's possibly why I treated Donna the way I did. CJ, I want him dead. I will not rest until he's found and convicted!" I yelled.

"Whoa! Down boy. You better get in line. I want to have my go at him first…look… Donna's talking to Jane tomorrow. I have known Jane for awhile. She's really good at her work and a decent person as well. After all, she's doing this as a favor to her friend. We'll help her and get this guy. I mean, we work directly for the President of The United States for crying out loud! We run the country, we sure hell could put a damn rapist in prison." CJ said angrily.

"You're right. We'll do this right……CJ, thank you so much. I know how much of an asshole I can be sometimes. I'm just glad to have someone like you to put me in place." I said.

"Anytime, mi amore. But just for the record, until you fix things with Donna, and I mean really grovel, you'll be still on my list! Okay, let me go back to sleep. I wasted enough of my time on you." CJ said.

"Goodnight CJ. Thanks again." What would I do without her? 

I'm lying on my bed trying to fall asleep. I can't because of the way I treated Donna. I was planning to send her flowers tomorrow and grovel the whole day. But I just can't sleep thinking of how Donna must be feeling today. I want to call her but this just can't be done right on the phone. Plus CJ would kill me if I were to apologize to Donna on the phone. I have to go to her place now.

I got to her place in less than 5 minutes as there are barely any cars around. I think it's almost 2am. I knock at her door. I didn't pounce too hard not to wake up Kimmy. God knows she'll kill me if she knew what I did tonight. No one came to the door. Just as I were to knock again, I heard someone coughing rater violently. I heard sniffling and some real heavy breathing. Almost like a wheezing sound. Damn it, that must be Donna. I then called out for Donna and knocked a little louder. Then I heard the coughing stop and the door unlocking. 

There she stood. My poor, poor Donnatella. She was in her pajamas and her fuzzy slippers. Her eyes were so red and puffy. Her face was all soaked with dried tears. She looked like she just threw up from crying too much. God, she's been suffering and it's all my fault. I don't know what to say. What can I say to make this even remotely better for her?

I slowly went in as she moved away from the door. I shut the door behind me. I just couldn't find the words to tell her. I honestly don't know what to say. We stood there looking at each other. My eyes started to burn. I could feel it filling with tears. I swallowed to prevent myself from breaking down. I need to be strong for my Donnatella. 

I slowly moved towards her. I bit my bottom lip before I pulled her into my arms. I could feel her stiffen. She didn't hug me back but I didn't let go. 

"I'm incredibly sorry Donnatella. What I did to you is inexcusable. Could you ever find it in that beautiful heart of yours to forgive me?" I said.

With that, Donna held me and broke down. She sobbed so hard I think it physically hurt her. She was getting weak in the knees as I could feel her hanging on to me. I quickly carried her from under her knees and she placed her hands around my neck. Her head was still on my shoulder and she continued to cry. I took her to her bedroom as it would be more comfortable than her couch and I didn't want to wake Kimmy up. 

I slowly placed her onto her bed and climbed in with her all the while she didn't let go of me. I placed the comforter over us and we tangled into each other. 

"Ssshhhhh…It's okay sweetie. I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. You don't have to go through this or anything else alone ever again. I promise." I said to Donna as she slowly settled down

Donna cried herself to sleep. I cried softly with her. All the while we were clinging to each other. I fell asleep only after making sure Donna had fallen asleep as well.

TO BE CONTINUED…….. 


	12. Part 12

Part 12

I got up in the morning and felt a little lost as I wasn't sure where I really was. But when I realize Donna was in my arms with her head on my chest, the feeling I got was indescribable. Right then I knew that this is how I want to wake up every morning for the rest of my life. 

I slowly entangled myself from Donna, being careful not to wake her up. I didn't want to leave but I had to go home to change before heading to the office. 

"Josh?" I turned to see a sleepy Donna rubbing her eyes. I smiled at the sight.

"Yeah?" I said as I stroked her hair.

"Don't leave…Come back to bed." Donna said as she pulled my undershirt.

"As much as I want to…..I need to go back home to get changed for work." I said.

"Okay…but stay for breakfast. I'll get up now." Donna said as she slowly got off the bed.

Donna took a quick shower as I made some pancakes. Don't get me wrong, I have no idea how to actually make pancakes from scratch but Donna had some of those instant pancake mix thingies. 

"Hey. The pancakes smell good." I hear Donna say.

I saw her sit on the kitchen counter. She's all dressed up for work. She looks magnificent. I cannot believe just last night she was crying her eyes out for hours and now she…..wow…. 

"You look great!" I said.

"Yeah…the miracle of make-up." Donna said and smiled.

 I served her the pancakes and kissed the top of her head. I sat down opposite her and we ate in silence at first.

"Donna……we should talk…..about everything….." I started.

"I know. Not now though. Maybe tonight?" Donna asked me as she looked up.

"That'll be good. Why don't you come back to my place after work? Maybe you could bring some of your stuff with you." I said. I wanted her to stay me. The thought of not waking up with her next to me was just unimaginable. I hoped she wouldn't mind.

"What?  What stuff?" Donna asked clearly not understanding my ever vague statement.

"Like a change of clothes so you'll be comfortable. And maybe clothes for tomorrow." I said softly and slowly looked up at her. 

She looked kind of stunned. I think I scared her a little.

"Donna….That's not what I meant….we don't have to do anything…it's just….well…after waking up with you next to me today…the feeling I got was just so unbelievably amazing. I just really want you to stay with me tonight." I said.

Donna smiled a little but she became slightly apprehensive. She started fiddling with her pancakes.

"I tell you what. You just bring your clothes and stuff today. And you can decide when you get to my place. You know, if I annoy you to a certain point, you can just leave and drive off to your place." I said smiling.

Donna laughed. God I love her laugh.

"Okay. That sounds good." She said.

"Donna….I can't begin to tell you how sorry I am. I was just so selfish and…"

"Shhh…Josh…not now…we have the whole night." Donna said shushing me up.

"Okay….Hey, I'll come with you to meet this Jane person today." I said remembering that her meeting is today.

"Josh, you're crazy if you think I'm going to reschedule your meetings just so that you can watch me talk to some woman." Donna said.

"But Donna…I don't want you to be alone. You have to tell her the whole thing and…" 

"Josh, CJ will be there. Besides, I have a feeling we'll have more meetings with her so you can come then, okay? No arguments." Donna said sternly. 

"Okay, fine. You win. Only this time, so don't get used to it. Anyway, I should get going." I said.

I got off the chair and gave Donna a kiss. She tasted like maple syrup. I licked her lips a little before ending the kiss which made her giggle. That just made my day.

************************************************************

I feel a whole lot better today. Waking up in Josh's arms did the trick. I was so happy when I saw him last night. And when he apologized to me, the floods just wouldn't stop. It was mixed with happy tears and just every emotion I felt for so long just coming out at one go.

I think I needed to do all that crying. I feel cleansed and refreshed. Part of me feels a little free and less tensed. I think it's because I finally opened up about the rape. When Josh asked me to stay with him tonight, I was kind of freaked. But then when he assured me there will only be sleeping involved, I was more that happy to stay with him. After waking up next to him tonight, I too can't do otherwise anymore. 

It's almost lunch time. I'm meeting Jane Worthington in a few minutes. Josh will be in a meeting during that time. 

"Donna? You wanna get going?" CJ asked me as she stood by my desk holding her bag.

"Yeah. I'm coming." We decided to walk to the restaurant where we'll be meeting Jane as it's just a few blocks down.

"So, how are things with Josh?" CJ asked me.

"I told him CJ. Things are fine now." I said smiling.

"So, he fixed it. Did he grovel?" CJ asked me.

"What? He told you? When? It all happened last night." I asked.

"Calm down Donna. He just was really really upset and he needed to talk to someone and I'm the only one who knew what was happening. You didn't think the groveling was his own idea, did you?" 

"Well, we didn't really talk about anything yet. He just said he's sorry and I was just a mess crying non-stop. I just ended up crying myself to sleep in his arms." I said and sighed dramatically.

"Please…..the only reason you could be in his arms was because of me, sister!" CJ rolled her eyes.

I laughed. I should've known Josh couldn't have come to his senses so soon on his own. CJ filled me in on the conversation they had the night before. We reached the restaurant soon after that.

A lady dressed in a grey suit waved at CJ. I assumed she was Jane. We walked towards her table. She had shoulder length blond hair. She was attractive and sweet looking. 

"Hi CJ. Nice to see you again. Hi, you must be Donna. I'm so glad you decided to talk to me." She said as she stood up and gave me her hand.

"Nice to meet you Ms. Worthington." I said as I shook her hand.

"Please call me Jane." She said as we all took our seats.

We ordered our food and Jane began to talk about the case.

"My friend Sarah's daughter Liz is only 22 years old. She had just moved out from home. She had gone drinking with just one of her girl friend to that bar. Her girl friend

was dancing with someone when Liz was offered a drink. I investigated these three cases which are similar to Liz's case. And what I found was all of the victims had long blond hair and have a thin body frame. But that doesn't do much help. I also found that all the  bars the victims went to were within five blocks. 

I've also realized that these rapes were on a Friday or Saturday and they were exactly three or four weeks apart.  The other two women have also mentioned what Donna said. They were upset and drinking quite a lot. These women were also only with one or two friends who were away dancing or something when they got a complementary drink. I don't know if this is a pattern or not but nevertheless it may be important.

I talked to the other two victims and they just had told me what they told the police. None were to happy to conduct any investigation as they've moved on and they honestly don't believe that this guys could be caught. But however, these women gave me their photos so we can use them for the investigation. 

I was thinking you guys could help me with the investigation. CJ, with your influence and all. Maybe it'll make things a little easier." Jane said.

"Jane, we'll be more than happy to help you with the investigation. I would want nothing more than to see this guy in prison." CJ said and I agreed with her.

"Great. Now here's the plan. We need to go to each of the bars, ask all the bartenders and regulars if they've seen these women with any guy on the nights of the assaults. So, I need you guys to take the photos of the women and ask the bartenders. Ask them about other regular customers. Stay till a little late so you can talk to the regulars and all the bartenders." Jane explained.

I was still a little overwhelmed with everything Jane had said. Especially with the similarities between my assault and the other women. However, I managed to agree with Jane. 

CJ had asked copies of the police reports for all the cases. She said she might be able to find something more from them. We thanked Jane and decided to start the investigation tomorrow night as it will be Friday. 

********************************************************************

I'm in a meeting with Senator Hobson which I know is dead important. But I just can't stop thinking about Donna. I hope she's okay at her meeting with that reporter. I can't stand thinking of her repeating the whole incident to the reporter. The fact that she has to go through the whole thing again and again is just unthinkable. Plus with 'my support' when she told me the story, I'm sure this will be almost impossible to bare. I still cannot believe my reaction towards her. And more that that, I can't believe Donna has forgiven me so easily. I need to explain things to her tonight. We really need to talk. 

"Josh? So is everything settled now?" 

"Huh?" Oh dear. I phased out during half the meeting. I hope I didn't agree to launch nuclear weapons or something. Not that I have the power to do that.

"Josh, are you okay? You seem a little…not here." The Senator said.

"Oh yeah. I'm fine. Yeah, it's settled then. Have your secretary send me a report of this meeting, will you?" I said hoping the senator won't ask me anything else. Luckily, he didn't.

I went back to the office to find Donna sitting at her desk. She looked up and smiled at me as I passed by her desk. I signaled her to come into the office with me.

"Donna, how did it go? Are you okay?" I asked worriedly.

"Yes, of course I'm fine. The meeting went well. There's just quite a lot of similarities between all the four cases. Jane told us what we can do to help investigate. I'll tell you the details tonight. How did your meeting go?" Donna asked.

Oh dear. I gulped. 

"Errr...Umm, it was good. Smooth sailing." I said. Donna stared at me. She placed her hand on her hip. This can't be good.

"Joooosh….What did you do? I probably should start with the apology letter." Donna said. Boy, does she know me or what.

"Nothing happened….I just kind of wasn't listening. I was thinking about you and your meeting.." I hope she'd understand.

"Yes Josh. Find any way to blame me when YOU zone out during your meeting." Donna said in a mocking way so I knew she wasn't really mad.

The day went by as usual and Donna and I went out for a quick dinner before getting home as it was kind of late already. She had brought her clothes and stuff to stay over tonight. I hope I don't do something utterly stupid to make her leave this time. 

We finally reached my apartment and Donna went to have a shower and get more comfortable. I did the same but didn't take nearly as long a time as Donna did. I decided to make tea while waiting for her. Don't get me wrong, I don't usually have tea lying in my apartment but my mom left some the last time she stayed with me.

"What's that? Joshua Lyman, are you making tea?" Donna asked as she was wiping her just washed hair with a towel. 

"Before you mock me Donnatella Moss, you know very well that my mom left it here." I said as I handed her a cup.

We sat on the couch and drank the tea. At first we didn't say anything. I guess we both didn't know where to start. So I asked her about her meeting with Jane. Donna told me about all the similarities between all the four cases. She also told me about the investigation we have to carry out starting tomorrow night. 

"Wow. I hope we are going in the right direction." I said. 

"Yeah, I know what you mean. What if these cases are totally unrelated? We'll be wasting heaps of time. But I guess there's not much else we can do." Donna said looking down. 

We sat there quietly again. 

"Donna"

"Josh" We said simultaneously. We laughed a little.

"You first." I said. 

"Josh, I need you to know that I really do trust you. I am sorry I didn't tell you earlier. I know it looks like I HAD to tell you because of Jane but please believe me….." Donna started.

"No Donna." I stopped her.

"I know that's not true. I know now you would have told me either way. I was just being an idiot….like I often do. This is no way any fault of yours. What you went through….it's unimaginable. And all I did was think of myself. I just……I think I was….am so damn angry towards that guy who attacked you. I just didn't know where to direct my anger I guess. But that's no excuse." I said as I felt Donna place her hand on mine.

"It's okay Josh. I know I wanted you to react differently but that was too much to ask. What I told you WAS too much. I would have told you earlier but you had enough to deal with. I didn't want to burden you. Plus I don't think I was ready but I guess I would have never been totally ready to tell you anyway." Donna said.

"Donna….That's just it. Anything about you….it's not a burden to me. What happens to you, happens to me. If anything at all is bothering you, I need you to tell me. Don't ever think about how it would burden me or effect me. I love you Donna. And I want to go through everything WITH you. Whether good or bad. I need you to know that." I said as I held both her hands in mine.

"Okay…..but only if you promise to do the same." Donna said.

I smiled at her softly and nodded. 

"I promise." I said and kissed her forehead.

"Donna, how did you go through this alone? I mean you didn't tell anyone. And CJ said you barely spoke to Kimmy about it, who was the only one who knew." I asked her.

"That was just it. I wasn't dealing with it at all. And last night when I was crying, it wasn't just about your reaction. It was about everything that happened. I guess I thought if I didn't think about it, it would go away. Boy, was I wrong." Donna said.

"Well Donna, you don't have to deal with this alone anymore. I'm here. So if you want to talk about it, you can." I said.

"I know that now Josh. I feel a lot of things about the 'incident'. I wouldn't know where to start or even if I'll be able to tell you. It's not that I don't want to burden you. It's just that….I don't know." Donna said.

I think I know what she means. She needs to talk to someone else. That's what I felt when I had my PTSD. 

"I understand. Maybe you can talk to CJ or someone else. You want me to make an appointment with Stanley?" I asked her.

"No, that's okay. I'll find someone else. The hospital had some rape counselors I could get in touch with." Donna said.

She needs to do this her own way. And I need to let her I decided.

"Okay. Do it soon though. Or I won't stop nagging you." I said jokingly.

"God, then I should call them right away." Donna mocked.

Donna and I slept in my bed. We just held each other which felt so good, I can't describe it. Her back was towards my chest and my arm was around her waist and our fingers were entangled together. My face was pretty much on her hair which enabled me to take big whiffs of her sweet smelling hair.

"I felt so violated." I opened my eyes as I heard Donna speak.

I immediately knew what Donna was talking about. I think she's ready to open up to me a little bit at least.

She went on about how she felt when she saw her bruises and the images. She told me about how she blamed herself and me for a bit. I didn't say much. I know she needed to just let it out without being interrupted or answering my questions. I stroked her arms, hair and held her even tighter while she was talking. I really wanted to react a lot of times but I had to restrain myself. This is about Donna, not me. 

She didn't cry much this time, just a few tears rolled down her face. I kissed her head as she was dozing off. 

All I know now is that if we don't find this soulless guy, I will never rest in peace. 

TO BE CONTINUED………. 


	13. Part 13

Part 13

I'm glad I managed to talk to Josh. I wasn't planning to open up like that but something just made me talk. I'm glad he just listened and didn't say much. I really needed that. I do feel a lot more free now. I wish I did it sooner. But hey, better late than never. 

Jane called me when I was at the office today. She told me to go to two of the bars which the second and third victim went to. Since it's a Friday night, it should be busy and the usual customers will most probably be there as well. 

"Donna, can I talk to you a minute?" CJ asked me and signaled me to come into her office.

"Sure CJ." I followed CJ in and she shut the door.

"Donna, did Jane tell you about the plan tonight?"

"Yeah, we are going to two bars. She'll investigate in the other two."

"Yeah. Anyway, I did some of my own research." CJ said.

"Really? Found anything?" 

"As a matter of fact I did. It's kinda silly but I noticed that the bars or clubs names all started with the letter M and N. 'Margarittas', 'Night Owl', 'Nuane' and the one you went to, 'Mission'. I don't know if that makes any sense, but I also got all the other clubs starting with these letters in the same area. There are only two others, 'Midnight' and 'New Shine' " CJ said.

I smirked a little. Come on, like he's got a fetish for certain letters of the alphabet. I have never thought CJ had ever had too much time on her hands but now I'm starting to wonder.

"CJ, don't you think you're looking too much into this? I mean, seriously….M and N?" I asked her mockingly.

"Ok fine. It's dumb…..but don't completely disregard it…Anyway, that's not my main findings. Apparently, five years ago, in the Green Lane area of DC, there were also similar rape cases. There were five cases and the night clubs that the victim went to were just a few blocks apart. And the incidents occurred every three to five weeks." CJ said sounding like she just uncovered an unsolvable mystery. 

"Okay…..how did you find that out in the first place? In such a short time." I asked her.

"I have friends in high places, Donna. It pays to be the White House Press Secretary. People in big places owe me favors. And like I say, I will always collect." CJ said in a smug manner.

"How similar were those cases to the ones now?"

"Well, the date rape drug was not Rohypnol, it was Progesterex. The girls had long blond hair and were thin-framed. And he brought them all to their apartments except for one girl who was left near some dumpsters. Apparently there were about two other people in her apartment at that time. The police investigator for those cases also treated them as a serial rapist case. I talked to him. Apparently he interviewed the neighbors of these women. Only one neighbor of one of the cases noticed a car outside. She described it as a blue Civic. But that information was useless, as you know how many blue Civics are there. Two of the bartenders also described a man who bought drinks for two of the women. They both described a 5'10 or 5'11 white male with dark hair. Nothing out of the ordinary. And of course you know how many men fit THAT description. Both of the bartenders said they wouldn't really be able to identify that guy even if they saw him." CJ said.

"Wow, CJ. You found out all that in less than two days? I have to say I'm more than impressed." I said honestly.

"Yeah I know. I outdid myself yet once again." She replied.

"Anyway, that police investigator said he'll send me the reports for those cases and also help us anyway he can." CJ continued.

"That's good CJ. YOU did good. Anyway, I guess we'll go to 'Night Owl' first and then the other N club." I said slightly jokingly as I dramatically expressed the letter N.

CJ laughed a little. "Yeah, yeah. Mock all you want. We'll see what you'll be saying once I uncover the mystery." CJ sounded rather cocky but she totally earned it. 

"Fine Nancy Drew. Meet me at about 10pm?" I asked.

"Yup. See you then." CJ said.

I went back to work as usual. I thought about calling the hospital to get a rape counselor's contact but I decided to postpone it. The fact that I managed to open up to Josh has decreased my urgency to talk to a counselor. 

"Excuse me. Donnatella Moss, can I see you in my office please?" Josh popped his head out of his office as he called for me.

Wow. I think this is the most polite request Josh has had for me. I wonder what he wants.

I walked into his office. Josh stood in front of me looking at me for a second before placing his hand pass me to shut the door. Then, he practically pinned me to the door with both of his hands on the door while I was between them and started kissing me. Rather forcefully I must add. Whoa! That was definitely not what I expected him to do. Not that I'm complaining. 

I slowly pushed Josh on his chest as reality hit me.

"Joshua Lyman, as much as I appreciate your…gesture…I believe we are breaking the 'no office display of affection' rule." I said as I bent down and walked pass under his stretched arm. 

"Come on. A little rule bending won't hurt anyone." Josh whined. He's so cute when he whines. I bet he knows that too.

"Well, it would hurt you if someone catches you. And I'm guessing it would hurt physically too." I said playing a mental picture of Leo banging Josh on his head. 

"Fine, whatever." Josh sounded like a ten year old saying that.

"Anyway, Joshua…You have a few minutes now right?" I asked knowing his next meeting is in about twenty minutes.

"Yes. Can I help you?" Josh asked as he went over to his chair and sat down.

I sat in front of him. I told him what CJ had told me and also our plan for tonight.

"So, we are leaving at 10pm?" Josh asked.

"No. We, CJ and I will be leaving at 10pm. Josh, you don't really need to come. Why not you get some rest tonight? Maybe you can come with us another time. Maybe CJ can take a break and you can come later on." I said.

"Donna, I meant it when I said we'll go through this together. Every step of the way. So, unless there's a national emergency, I'll be following you guys tonight and every other night, whether you like it or not." Josh said looking straight at me.

Man, can he be stern. I better not argue with him. Not this time anyway. 

"Okay, whatever you want, boss." I mocked.

"Ah, that's something you haven't called me before. I think I could live with that. Yeah. Call me boss from now on." Josh said nodding away.

"Like hell Joshua. In your dreams." I said as I stood up.

"Ah, in my dreams you tend to do every one of my bidding commands." Josh said wiggling his eye brows.

I glared at him and went back to my desk. 

Just before 10pm CJ, Josh and I got ready to leave. As we were walking down the bullpen, we saw Sam coming our way.

"Hey guys, done for the day I see. Me too. Going out for a drink?" Sam asked.

We paused for a second and then I said yes while Josh said no. Then a millisecond later CJ said no and then yes. Sam looked at us with a questioning look. 

"Yes and no. Donna and I are going out with some of the girls. Josh is not." CJ said saving the day as usual. And so I thought.

"Oh, okay. Josh, wanna go for some drinks? I'll get Toby and we'll go to the place next to your townhouse." Sam said.

"Mmm….Maybe next time. I'm kind of tired. Just planning to go to bed after dinner." Josh lied. 

"Tired Josh? Before 10pm? Man, what's Donna doing to you that's making you this tired?" Sam joked.

"Funny Sam. You're a funny guy." Josh said sarcastically.

"I try my best. Okay, I should get going. Ladies, enjoy yourselves. Josh, don't let the bed bugs bite." Sam said laughing away as he walked past us. 

CJ and I had to hold our breath to prevent from laughing. Mainly at Josh. Josh just glared at us.

I didn't like lying to Sam. I know it's up to me if I want to tell other people what's going on. Josh and CJ aren't going to do that unless I ask them to. I don't know if I want to tell the others. Maybe a little later if I feel more comfortable. I probably will have to tell Sam sooner or later as the investigations will be done during weekends. He'll get suspicious and I wouldn't want his feelings hurt if we ditch him every time. You know how sensitive Sam Seaborne can be. 

We reached 'Night Owl' and immediately started asking questions. We talked to the bartenders on duty if they've seen the girl on the photo we brought. And then we asked them if there was any guy who buys drinks and asks them to send the drinks to girls. They didn't recognize the girl on the picture and also mentioned that lots of guys ask them to send drinks to girls. We asked them if any guy had the drink before hand and not just ordered a drink to be sent to the girl. We didn't get any useful response from the bartenders.

We even got the schedules of the bartenders who worked on the night of the assault. It's amazing how much people would cooperate once you play the White House card. No wonder Jane really wanted us to be involved in the investigation. 

There are two other bartenders who were present on that night who are not on duty tonight. Apparently they'll be here tomorrow night according to the manager. 

We went on to 'Nuane' which was just two blocks down. We asked the same questions as before. The bartenders who were working on the night of the assault were also there tonight. We were quite disappointed here as no one could give us any useful information.

We decided to come back tomorrow night to both of the clubs to commence the questioning. Hopefully it would be a little better tomorrow. 

*****************************************************

The past few days have been extremely overwhelming to me. The investigation has been pretty useless. I know it's just been a day but I've learnt that I'm not a very patient person. Right now, I can only focus on nailing the jerk. I have to think of a better way of investigating than just asking the bartenders questions. I doubt any of them remember these women even if we show them photos. There's just got to be a better way.

"A penny for your thoughts Josh." I look up to see Sam standing at my door. He's wearing a sweatshirt and jeans as it's a Saturday. 

"Hey Sam. I'm just running through the tax cut bill. What bout you? Toby still pouncing on you on the Foreign Aid address?" I asked him as I push my chair back and place my legs on the desk.

"Josh, could you not refer to Toby as 'pouncing' on me. It's gonna be a permanent mental scar." Sam said. I grinned at the thought of it.

"Hey, so is that all you have for today?" Sam asked.

"Yup. Pretty much. I have a short meeting with one of the environmentalist people. But other than that, it's a light day."

"Great. Then we cab watch the game tonight. Come to my place. Bring Donna and some beer .Toby's coming as well. I'll let CJ know." Sam said as he was walking out of my door.

I gotto stop him. Damn, what do I say? Ditching him two days in a row is not the best idea.

"Aw, I can't. Donna and I have plans. It has been kinda crazy here the past week. We haven't spent much time together alone." I said quickly. Man, I'm getting good at this lying thing. 

"Oh…..well that's ok then. I'll go ask CJ now." Sam said as he left my office. Damn, I feel like crap. He sounded hurt. Well, he's just gonna have to get over it, wouldn't he. 

Oh no…..Oh NO!! He just said he's gonna ask CJ. Shoot, she's coming with us to. What if she says she's spending time with me and Donna? Shit, I gotta go to CJ' office. 

I should use the connecting door. I open the door slightly as I hear Sam's voice.

"So, you have plans with Donna tonight? Two days in a row. Josh must be annoyed."  I hear Sam say. Could this day get any better?

I kept the door still and heard their conversation from the other end.

"Yeah. We just wanted catch up this weekend. You know, with Donna and Josh spendinf all those 'alone' times together. She really wants some time away from him and just relax with the girls. No biggie."  CJ said. 

If CJ only knows how much she screwed up!! Sam is gonna think she's ditching him. To spend time with Donna of all people! Like Sam's gonna believe that. Donna would obviously prefer to spend time with her boyfriend, especially after I told him so!

"Huh…Okay. That's fine. I'll see you later." Sam said as I hear him leave the office. That's funny. I thought he would call her bluff. Oh well, I guess he's gonna let CJ off the hook this time. 

Bang ! Bang! What the heck? Who the hell is banging my door. I closed the connecting door and saw Sam walk into my office.

"Why Sam, nice to see you again. I didn't hear you knock my door." I said sarcastically.

"If you don't want to spend time with me, why don't you just say so!!??" 

"Wha….?"

"CJ said she's going out with Donna tonight coz you both have been spending too much time alone together!!" Ok, Sam is slightly reaching the shouting range.

"Sam..listen…"

"And yesterday, you wanted to go to bed early? I mean come on Josh, that's even lame for you! I can't believe you lied to me to my face!" Sam went on not reducing the sound of his voice.

"Sam. Calm down. If you would just listen….didn't it ever occur to you that CJ's lying to you?" I asked trying to look as cool as a cucumber.

Sam was quite. Looking directly at me like he was trying to look through my head to see if I was lying or not.

"Well…..I guess that's possible." Sam said.

"Thank you. Look, maybe CJ has a date or something. She probably wants to keep it to herself. You know how women are with secrecy." I said gulping. 

"Yeah, I guess you're right. Well, I'll see you then. I better get back to the speech." 

Whoa, that was close. Slam! 

"Joshua Lyman, you are a dead man!!" 

"What the…" I see CJ standing at the connecting door. I swear her eyes are red and there's smoke coming out of her ears.

"Hey, CJ. What's up?" I said casually. Oh, I hope she hadn't heard us. Please don't have heard that. 

"I heard that!!" CJ said. More like shouted. There seems to be a lot of shouting matches in my office today.  I just wish they weren't directed at me. 

"CJ, I didn't know what else to say!! How did you hear us anyway?"

"Well, the connecting door wasn't completely shut. Which I can only guess that you opened it to eavesdrop on my conversation with Sam!!!" 

"What's going on here? Could you to keep it down, you're scaring the interns." I turned to see Donna in my office as she shut the door behind her.

"It's all your boyfriend's fault!" CJ said beating me to it.

"What else is new?" Donna said sounding annoyed and fed up.

"Donna, it's not all my fault. Look…" I explained the whole story to her with CJ butting in with her 'complimentary' comments every two seconds. 

"Well, I guess there's just one thing there is to do."  CJ and I turned towards Donna.

"I guess I'll have to tell Sam the truth. The whole story." Donna said looking down and then she turn her head up and looked at us.

She's got to be kidding. She doesn't really want to go through the whole thing again. It's too soon if anything.

"Donna, you don't have to do that. Look, we'll fix this. We'll talk to Sam, We'll com up with something. You've gone through enough without doofus here making it worse for you." CJ said as I glared at her.

"In her own twisted way, CJ's right." That earned a spank on my head by CJ.

"No. Look, we are going to do this investigation like every weekend. This is just the first and already we've hurt Sam's feelings. I mean, we ARE gonna tell HIM at least… sooner or later. I think we'll only hurt him more if we drag this." Donna explained.

"Donna, I understand. But how much he gets affected doesn't compare to how are." I said trying to talk her out of it.

"Josh, I've made up my mind. I'll have lunch with Sam today." Donna said.

"Okay….." I accepted it reluctantly. I hope she knows what she's doing.

"Do you want us to come with you?" CJ asked.

"No, no. That will just take a longer time. Especially since he's mad at both of you. Look, you guys better get back to work, or we'll never get to the clubs tonight." Donna said as she walked out of my office.

She never ceases to amaze me. She's the one who's most affected here, and she keeps fixing everything herself.

"She's quite something Josh. You better never ever forget that." CJ said giving me the death glare. I'm growing accustomed to that look.

TO BE CONTINUED………………


	14. Part 14

Part 15

Yawn…..Another day begins. Another wonderful day begins. The sun is bright, the birds are singing….Why am I being all Mr. Sunshine? Well, you wake up with Donnatella Moss in your arms and you'll know what I'm talking about. I just can't get over waking up next to her. 

"Wake up sleepy head, rise and shine!" I leaned and kiss her on her temple.

She moans. Oh dear, not the best sound I want to hear if I want to have a hot shower and not a cold one like last night. I nudge her a bit so she'll stop making those sounds.

"Go away Joshua. I want to sleep. It's Sunday." Donna mumbles in the most adorable way.

"Donna, you do realize that we just reversed our roles here, don't you. Me waking you up. You being the grumpy one…."

"Josh, go take a shower before I push you off the bed!" Donna elbows me lightly on my chest.

"Touchy." I get off the bed and take a shower. I should make a big breakfast for my Donnatella.

Donna was up when I got off the shower. She looked like a zombie and pushed me away from the bathroom door and slammed the door as she went in.

Someone got up at the wrong side of the bed. Well,  I'll just have to change that wouldn't I?

She's going to love this. It's time to show Donna who the real chef in this relationship is.

I look up for some gourmet breakfast ideas from my mom's recipe book. As I needed to make something in a short amount on time, I decided on French Toast, Italian Omelette and something called the Irish Oatmeal. Looks like I'm going covering Europe for breakfast. It's amazing that I actually had most of the ingredients needed. I'm pretty sure it was all Donna's shopping. 

I start up the coffee and begin to set the table. Hmm…The table needs something. I have the cutleries and napkins placed, but it needs something extra. I got it! I quickly took my keys and went out of my building.

There's got to be some flowers around here. Not that I've noticed any. But it's only a reasonable assumption that flowers can be found along streets, right? Ah, I see some carnations and daisies. Sigh, they don't seem right. I look around some more. There they are! A bunch of gorgeous purple and pink tulips. I go and pluck a bunch, with their stems and leaves so it looks more natural. Wow, I've never noticed so many flowers around here before. A man can save a lot of money if he just spends some time noticing mother nature. 

I hope Donna's not at the kitchen yet. I enter my place and thankfully, she's still getting dressed I presume. I place the flowers in a vase on the middle of the table. Voila, perfect!

I pour some orange juice in two glasses and serve the food I cooked on the plates.  What else? Ah, yes…coffee.

"What smells so good? What in the world?" I hold the pot of coffee in my hand as I see Donna alternately staring at the table and then at me for a couple of times.

"Ah, Mademoseille Donnatella. Would you care to join me for ze' breakfast?" I say in a French accent. A quite impressive French accent if I say so myself.

I place the coffee pot on the table and pull the chair out for Donna.

"Please take a seat Mademoseille." Donna does so, still looking a little stunned.

"Today, the specialties are ze' toast from my country, France. Hence, it's name French Toast." Donna giggled at that. It's so wonderful to see her mood completely switched from when she got up. I'm glad I had a little to do with that. 

"And here we have, ze' Italian Omelette with sun-dried tomatoes, parmesan cheese and Italian herbs to give it some zing. And finally we have ze' Irish Oatmeal. It has raisins, cinnamon, corn syrup and topped with freshly chopped strawberries and peaches. Hope you enjoy your meal!" I state as I took her hand and kissed it." 

"Josh..Oh wow! Did you actually do all this?" Donna said with they widest grin on her face.

"From scratch baby!" I said, returning to my good ol' all American self.

"I'm shocked. I don't know what to say. Everything looks so incredible. And these flowers! How did you manage to get them so fast? I know I took a long shower but not that long." Donna says as she leans toward the flowers to smell them.

"I plucked them of the side of the street below. You'll be quite amazed to fine quite pretty flowers around there."

"You plucked them? You went outdoors into the nature, in the morning to pluck flowers?" She mocks.

"Anything to bring a smile on my girlfriend's face."

Oh no. She's getting emotional. She gives me a smile with a slight pout and her eyes getting all sparkly. 

"Donna, don't get emotional on me…"

"I'm not, I'm not…Okay, let's eat. I can't wait to taste your cooking."

I watch her, as she takes a bite of the omelette. She closes her eyes as she tastes it and lets out an "mmmmm" sound. Oh, I could take her right here, right now. Stop it Lyman. Get your mind out of the gutter. 

"Good, bad?" I ask.                          

"Delectable." She says and I grin like a fool I'm sure.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Lyman. I guess you'll be cooking all our meals from now on, huh?" 

"Don't count on your luck Donnatella."

"Josh, seriously, everything's so damn delicious. How did you know to make all this?" She says as she takes a bite of the toast and the oatmeal as well.

"A little recipe book, my mom left behind. Who knew it'll come in handy?" 

"I'm sorry I woke up grumpy today. Wait, did u do all this BECAUSE I woke up grumpy?"

I gave her a smile and raised my shoulders. 

"Cool, I should wake up this way more often." 

"Right!" I swat her hand as she takes the pot of coffee.

"Hey, come on! What happened to the chivalrous French guy? He was sexy." Donna flashes a cheeky and sly smile at me.

"He's gone. You're stuck with good ol' all American me."

"Well, I guess I could live with that." She says with a wink.

Donna and I spent the rest of the morning reading the newspaper and believe it or not, watching cartoons. It was actually quite fun. I didn't know Road Runner could crack Donna up so much. It's quite amazing when I learn something new about her everyday. 

We got to the office by 2.30pm. Around 4pm, CJ called Donna, Sam and I into her office. I guess she's got something to share with us. I hope it's something good.

The three of us stood around CJ's desk while watching her print of something.

"Okay guys. I gave the DCPD the description we had. And they had about twelve people matching, but I removed the ones that are no longer in DC and the ones that were elsewhere during any of the rape incidents. So, I'm now down to five guys."  CJ explained and started to lay out the six photos she printed out.

"How did you get all this so fast?" Donna asked as she started to take a closer look at the pictures. I seriously hope this is not too overwhelming for her. One of those six guys could have been the one who raped her!

"The cop who's helping me sent them through e-mail and I printed them out. Anyway, this guy Simon Devour, has had one case of tax fraud. He pleaded guilty and spent some time in jail. I don't think he's the one." CJ said pointing to one of the pictures.

"The next one is Tim Sherman, as you can see he's got many piercings on his face, is a gang member…into gang fights and stuff. Also not likely to be the one we are looking for. This other guy is Nat Fryer, drug addict, in and out of jail and rehab a few years ago. Seems to have cleaned up his act. This one is Anthony Martin, robbery and assault five years ago.  And finally, Aaron McCain. Get this, he was charged with sexual assault two years ago. But the case was dropped. I looked him up and he had another similar case against him when he used live in Cincinnati, Ohio five years ago. Both were dropped because of lack of evidence. There was no date rape drug involve but both were dates and one woman claimed he raped her in the car when he was sending her home and the other said he raped her in her apartment when she invited him in. I could be wrong, but I think he's the only possible suspect we have." 

Wow, this was a lot to take in.  Do we actually have this guy? How are we going to prove it? 

"That's a lot of information there CJ. What do you think we should do now?" I asked CJ. 

I feel rather useless right now. Relying only on CJ for everything. I don't seem to be doing much or having any ideas to go about this. Politics is way easier than detective work.

"Well, we could be totally going in circles because there's the possibility that this guy we're looking for has no criminal record in DC, in which case, this whole thing would be just a waste of time. But I just had an idea that we should show the photos to Chad, the bartender guy and see what he says. I know he probably has no recollection of how this guy actually looks but he's our best chance.

"I think that's the best way to go too. I'll give Chad a call. You have the number right?" Well, at least I can be a little more of a help now. 

"Beat you to it, sailor. The only time he can meet us today is in an hours' time. I agreed coz I want to do this as soon as possible." Damn, she's good. 

"I've got a meeting with Patrick…something at 5pm." Sam said. 

Damn it! I've got a meeting too.

"Shoot, I've got a meeting too. Donna, could you reschedule it?"

"No way in hell Lyman. Do you know how hard I tried to get this meeting scheduled for you? And Congressman Leeds was not all that thrilled about working on a Sunday. So, you're going to go for that meeting whether you like it or not." Donna said with her eyes filled with warning.

"Well, that's good then. He doesn't have to work on a Sunday."

"No Josh, he had to work today to prepare for the meeting. And he'll be furious if you cancel it. I've already got three people to apologize to on your behalf. You are going to this meeting and that's that. CJ and I will go see Chad." 

No arguing with that tone. I just nodded in defeat. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. Unfortunately, I seem to be losing a whole lot more these days.

***************************************************************

CJ and I went to a diner nearby to meet Chad. He wasn't there yet when we arrived.

"So, how are things with you and Josh?" CJ started as we took a seat.

"Good. Great even. I mean I though I knew everything about him but boy, the amount of things that surprise me. He's not just a master politician, he's pretty amazing in lots of other aspects." I said.

I think I must be beaming as CJ looks at me raising an eyebrow.

"Donna, that's a little more than I want to know. But......so you are okay with…..doing it?" 

Oh dear. She must have gotten the wrong idea. I laugh out loud. 

"No, no. That's not what I was talking about. I mean, this morning, he had gone outside to pluck some flowers to place on the breakfast table. Tulips for crying out loud! And he cooked me an amazing gourmet breakfast with the table all set up so well. He did all this 

from scratch and it was so delicious." I started to smile like an idiot remembering that morning.

"Wow. That's something I've never heard about Josh Lyman. Did you like do something special for him the night before?" CJ asked suggestively.

"Ah, I understand why you may think that but get this….I didn't 'put out' the night before. And I got up soooo grumpily that morning for no good reason. And he did all that to cheer me up and boy, did that do the trick." 

"Okay. Double wow! Jesus, I am sooo envious of you. If I knew Josh Lyman was such a romantic fool, I would have snagged him long ago!" CJ joked.

We laughed at that for some time. I had to stop drinking as I almost choked on my soda.

"So did you give him your flower after that?" CJ continued pressing on that matter.

"No. I'm still not ready. I honestly don't know why. I mean, we've been sleeping on the same bed for sometime now but nothing more." 

"Don't worry. You'll know when you're ready. Meanwhile, enjoy all the chivalry while you get it." 

"Amen to that." I continued to laugh.

"Hello. Sorry I'm late. Traffic." It was Chad.

"Hello Chad. Have a seat." I said pulling out a chair for him.

"Would you like anything?" CJ asked him.

"No thanks."

"Well, we should get to the point. Chad, I know you can't remember the guy's face but I'm going to show to a few mug shots and see if you can point out anyone or recall anything." 

"Miss, I really don't think I'll be able to do that. I honestly wouldn't be able to recognize him."

"Chad, just have a look at this photos okay?" I asked him politely.

He nodded as CJ laid all the six photos on the table. Chad looked at them intensely. I turned nervously at CJ only to see her just as nervous as me. It seemed like eternity before any of us spoke.

"If I had to choose someone, and I won't be testifying on this…..but I would place my money on this guy." He said as he pointed on a picture.

CJ and I took a deep breath and looked at the picture. Oh my god. It was Aaron McCain. The guy with the sexual assault charges. CJ looked at me and gave a slick smile.

"Thank you Chad. You have been a tremendous help!" CJ said as she got up.

"Yes. Thanks a lot. Sorry for taking up your time." I said.

"No problem. Well, glad I was of help. See you around." With that, we left and headed back to the office.

We filled in Sam and Josh about our meeting with Chad. 

"I'm going to talk to Jane and we'll get some cops involved and we are going to nail this guy very soon!" CJ said vengefully.

However good that sounds, I know there's a huge possibility that we are on to the wrong guy. 

Monday has come starting with a very busy schedule for Josh. That means a whole lot of work for me as well. We didn't even have time for a proper lunch. I stuffed Josh's backpack with a roast chicken sandwich. I hope he'll find it during his meeting at the hill. 

It's almost 7pm now and we still have heaps to get through. Nothing major so I guess I can postpone some stuff for tomorrow. 

"Carol ordered Chinese for the four of us. It'll be here in a short while. I've got a lot to discuss with you guys at my office." I hear CJ telling me very quickly as she passes by my desk.

I pass the message to Josh and Sam. We arrived at CJ's office just in time for the food. I can't begin to tell how famished I am. 

"I spoke to Jane. She's very optimistic about what we found out. Anyway, she has some good contacts with the DCPD and now we've got two police officers with us. They had planned a strategy while they were updating things with me. So, this is how it's going to be. The police have the guy's address and details. They'll be following him around this week. This weekend, hopefully he'll be on his 'venture 'as it'll be four weeks since his last attack. I'll be the target, miserable, vulnerable and all.  Sam and Jane will be with me. They'll be a couple. Leaving me alone after a while. The same way it was with Donna. " 

"Hey, I haven't even seen this Jane person. You want me to act as her boyfriend?" Sam sounded a little squeaky saying that. 

"The police officers have other obligations. Like tailing him, keeping us safe, getting backup and all, Sam. You're it." CJ said is her no-nonsense voice. 

"Don't worry Sam. She's really nice. You'll like her." I chipped in hoping Sam wouldn't mind doing it. I feel bad enough dragging everyone into my problem. I really don't want any of them to do anything they don't want.

"Okay. I'll have to meet her first though." 

"No problem. Now if you'll just shut up, I can continue. Anyway, the police will tail him Friday and Saturday night. We'll be waiting near his target area wearing earpieces. If he goes to a bar or nightclub, the cops will let us know which one and we'll go there. Then we'll try to get him to notice me and I'll take it from there. The cops said we need to get him putting in the drugs and taking the victim home and some indication that he wants to rape her." 

"CJ will you actually have to drink it, if he offers you the drugged drink?" I asked CJ worriedly. I really wouldn't want her to do that. 

"Yeah. It's the only way. Otherwise I wouldn't know how to act. The cops are going to give me a fake ID with an address of a place they will fit with security cameras and such. So, there's nothing to worry about. The cops will follow him anyway. Besides, this is only if he is actually the guy and he'll actually fall for the trap…. which is probably a long shot."

"Wow…..you guys really thought it through. So, where will Josh and I be? Just around the nightclub?" I asked visioning us spying through while holding menu cards.

"No, you are not going anywhere near the club." 

"No way in hell you will be there."

"He'll recognize you. We can't take that risk."

Woah! Talk about ganging up on me! They were all talking at the same time. I never thought I wouldn't be a part of the 'final act'. 

"Come on guys, if CJ can wear a blond wig, I'm sure I can wear a disguise as well. Besides, there'll be so many people there. There's no way in hell he'll recognize me." I pleaded, trying to reason with them.

"We'll see about that Donna." Josh said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. 

This is my chance. Watch out, Josh's dumpling, I'm coming at you!

"Hey, you stole my dumpling!!" Josh tried to take it back from me but I was too quick for him.

"Well, if you wanted it so much, you should have been guarding it better." I joked.

"Yeah, yeah…whatever. But I'll get my revenge. You won't know where, you won't know how…but it's coming." I laughed at Josh's threat. He looked so cute threatening me. I could just eat him up…but I won't. 

"Will you two stop it for just a few minutes? It's getting nauseating…even worse that I'm eating." CJ sounded really annoyed with us. I think she's just kidding, but you can never be too sure.

"Oh yeah... Where are you going to get your blond wig from, CJ?" Sam asked.

"Blond wig? CJ, is there something going on I should know about?" 

Oh, dear. The four us turn towards the door and found Toby standing there. Okay, how in the world are we going to pull out of this mess?

TO BE CONTINUED…………. 


	15. Part 15

Part 15

Yawn…..Another day begins. Another wonderful day begins. The sun is bright, the birds are singing….Why am I being all Mr. Sunshine? Well, you wake up with Donnatella Moss in your arms and you'll know what I'm talking about. I just can't get over waking up next to her. 

"Wake up sleepy head, rise and shine!" I leaned and kiss her on her temple.

She moans. Oh dear, not the best sound I want to hear if I want to have a hot shower and not a cold one like last night. I nudge her a bit so she'll stop making those sounds.

"Go away Joshua. I want to sleep. It's Sunday." Donna mumbles in the most adorable way.

"Donna, you do realize that we just reversed our roles here, don't you. Me waking you up. You being the grumpy one…."

"Josh, go take a shower before I push you off the bed!" Donna elbows me lightly on my chest.

"Touchy." I get off the bed and take a shower. I should make a big breakfast for my Donnatella.

Donna was up when I got off the shower. She looked like a zombie and pushed me away from the bathroom door and slammed the door as she went in.

Someone got up at the wrong side of the bed. Well,  I'll just have to change that wouldn't I?

She's going to love this. It's time to show Donna who the real chef in this relationship is.

I look up for some gourmet breakfast ideas from my mom's recipe book. As I needed to make something in a short amount on time, I decided on French Toast, Italian Omelette and something called the Irish Oatmeal. Looks like I'm going covering Europe for breakfast. It's amazing that I actually had most of the ingredients needed. I'm pretty sure it was all Donna's shopping. 

I start up the coffee and begin to set the table. Hmm…The table needs something. I have the cutleries and napkins placed, but it needs something extra. I got it! I quickly took my keys and went out of my building.

There's got to be some flowers around here. Not that I've noticed any. But it's only a reasonable assumption that flowers can be found along streets, right? Ah, I see some carnations and daisies. Sigh, they don't seem right. I look around some more. There they are! A bunch of gorgeous purple and pink tulips. I go and pluck a bunch, with their stems and leaves so it looks more natural. Wow, I've never noticed so many flowers around here before. A man can save a lot of money if he just spends some time noticing mother nature. 

I hope Donna's not at the kitchen yet. I enter my place and thankfully, she's still getting dressed I presume. I place the flowers in a vase on the middle of the table. Voila, perfect!

I pour some orange juice in two glasses and serve the food I cooked on the plates.  What else? Ah, yes…coffee.

"What smells so good? What in the world?" I hold the pot of coffee in my hand as I see Donna alternately staring at the table and then at me for a couple of times.

"Ah, Mademoseille Donnatella. Would you care to join me for ze' breakfast?" I say in a French accent. A quite impressive French accent if I say so myself.

I place the coffee pot on the table and pull the chair out for Donna.

"Please take a seat Mademoseille." Donna does so, still looking a little stunned.

"Today, the specialties are ze' toast from my country, France. Hence, it's name French Toast." Donna giggled at that. It's so wonderful to see her mood completely switched from when she got up. I'm glad I had a little to do with that. 

"And here we have, ze' Italian Omelette with sun-dried tomatoes, parmesan cheese and Italian herbs to give it some zing. And finally we have ze' Irish Oatmeal. It has raisins, cinnamon, corn syrup and topped with freshly chopped strawberries and peaches. Hope you enjoy your meal!" I state as I took her hand and kissed it." 

"Josh..Oh wow! Did you actually do all this?" Donna said with they widest grin on her face.

"From scratch baby!" I said, returning to my good ol' all American self.

"I'm shocked. I don't know what to say. Everything looks so incredible. And these flowers! How did you manage to get them so fast? I know I took a long shower but not that long." Donna says as she leans toward the flowers to smell them.

"I plucked them of the side of the street below. You'll be quite amazed to fine quite pretty flowers around there."

"You plucked them? You went outdoors into the nature, in the morning to pluck flowers?" She mocks.

"Anything to bring a smile on my girlfriend's face."

Oh no. She's getting emotional. She gives me a smile with a slight pout and her eyes getting all sparkly. 

"Donna, don't get emotional on me…"

"I'm not, I'm not…Okay, let's eat. I can't wait to taste your cooking."

I watch her, as she takes a bite of the omelette. She closes her eyes as she tastes it and lets out an "mmmmm" sound. Oh, I could take her right here, right now. Stop it Lyman. Get your mind out of the gutter. 

"Good, bad?" I ask.                          

"Delectable." She says and I grin like a fool I'm sure.

"I didn't know you had it in you, Lyman. I guess you'll be cooking all our meals from now on, huh?" 

"Don't count on your luck Donnatella."

"Josh, seriously, everything's so damn delicious. How did you know to make all this?" She says as she takes a bite of the toast and the oatmeal as well.

"A little recipe book, my mom left behind. Who knew it'll come in handy?" 

"I'm sorry I woke up grumpy today. Wait, did u do all this BECAUSE I woke up grumpy?"

I gave her a smile and raised my shoulders. 

"Cool, I should wake up this way more often." 

"Right!" I swat her hand as she takes the pot of coffee.

"Hey, come on! What happened to the chivalrous French guy? He was sexy." Donna flashes a cheeky and sly smile at me.

"He's gone. You're stuck with good ol' all American me."

"Well, I guess I could live with that." She says with a wink.

Donna and I spent the rest of the morning reading the newspaper and believe it or not, watching cartoons. It was actually quite fun. I didn't know Road Runner could crack Donna up so much. It's quite amazing when I learn something new about her everyday. 

We got to the office by 2.30pm. Around 4pm, CJ called Donna, Sam and I into her office. I guess she's got something to share with us. I hope it's something good.

The three of us stood around CJ's desk while watching her print of something.

"Okay guys. I gave the DCPD the description we had. And they had about twelve people matching, but I removed the ones that are no longer in DC and the ones that were elsewhere during any of the rape incidents. So, I'm now down to five guys."  CJ explained and started to lay out the six photos she printed out.

"How did you get all this so fast?" Donna asked as she started to take a closer look at the pictures. I seriously hope this is not too overwhelming for her. One of those six guys could have been the one who raped her!

"The cop who's helping me sent them through e-mail and I printed them out. Anyway, this guy Simon Devour, has had one case of tax fraud. He pleaded guilty and spent some time in jail. I don't think he's the one." CJ said pointing to one of the pictures.

"The next one is Tim Sherman, as you can see he's got many piercings on his face, is a gang member…into gang fights and stuff. Also not likely to be the one we are looking for. This other guy is Nat Fryer, drug addict, in and out of jail and rehab a few years ago. Seems to have cleaned up his act. This one is Anthony Martin, robbery and assault five years ago.  And finally, Aaron McCain. Get this, he was charged with sexual assault two years ago. But the case was dropped. I looked him up and he had another similar case against him when he used live in Cincinnati, Ohio five years ago. Both were dropped because of lack of evidence. There was no date rape drug involve but both were dates and one woman claimed he raped her in the car when he was sending her home and the other said he raped her in her apartment when she invited him in. I could be wrong, but I think he's the only possible suspect we have." 

Wow, this was a lot to take in.  Do we actually have this guy? How are we going to prove it? 

"That's a lot of information there CJ. What do you think we should do now?" I asked CJ. 

I feel rather useless right now. Relying only on CJ for everything. I don't seem to be doing much or having any ideas to go about this. Politics is way easier than detective work.

"Well, we could be totally going in circles because there's the possibility that this guy we're looking for has no criminal record in DC, in which case, this whole thing would be just a waste of time. But I just had an idea that we should show the photos to Chad, the bartender guy and see what he says. I know he probably has no recollection of how this guy actually looks but he's our best chance.

"I think that's the best way to go too. I'll give Chad a call. You have the number right?" Well, at least I can be a little more of a help now. 

"Beat you to it, sailor. The only time he can meet us today is in an hours' time. I agreed coz I want to do this as soon as possible." Damn, she's good. 

"I've got a meeting with Patrick…something at 5pm." Sam said. 

Damn it! I've got a meeting too.

"Shoot, I've got a meeting too. Donna, could you reschedule it?"

"No way in hell Lyman. Do you know how hard I tried to get this meeting scheduled for you? And Congressman Leeds was not all that thrilled about working on a Sunday. So, you're going to go for that meeting whether you like it or not." Donna said with her eyes filled with warning.

"Well, that's good then. He doesn't have to work on a Sunday."

"No Josh, he had to work today to prepare for the meeting. And he'll be furious if you cancel it. I've already got three people to apologize to on your behalf. You are going to this meeting and that's that. CJ and I will go see Chad." 

No arguing with that tone. I just nodded in defeat. Oh well, you win some, you lose some. Unfortunately, I seem to be losing a whole lot more these days.

***************************************************************

CJ and I went to a diner nearby to meet Chad. He wasn't there yet when we arrived.

"So, how are things with you and Josh?" CJ started as we took a seat.

"Good. Great even. I mean I though I knew everything about him but boy, the amount of things that surprise me. He's not just a master politician, he's pretty amazing in lots of other aspects." I said.

I think I must be beaming as CJ looks at me raising an eyebrow.

"Donna, that's a little more than I want to know. But......so you are okay with…..doing it?" 

Oh dear. She must have gotten the wrong idea. I laugh out loud. 

"No, no. That's not what I was talking about. I mean, this morning, he had gone outside to pluck some flowers to place on the breakfast table. Tulips for crying out loud! And he cooked me an amazing gourmet breakfast with the table all set up so well. He did all this 

from scratch and it was so delicious." I started to smile like an idiot remembering that morning.

"Wow. That's something I've never heard about Josh Lyman. Did you like do something special for him the night before?" CJ asked suggestively.

"Ah, I understand why you may think that but get this….I didn't 'put out' the night before. And I got up soooo grumpily that morning for no good reason. And he did all that to cheer me up and boy, did that do the trick." 

"Okay. Double wow! Jesus, I am sooo envious of you. If I knew Josh Lyman was such a romantic fool, I would have snagged him long ago!" CJ joked.

We laughed at that for some time. I had to stop drinking as I almost choked on my soda.

"So did you give him your flower after that?" CJ continued pressing on that matter.

"No. I'm still not ready. I honestly don't know why. I mean, we've been sleeping on the same bed for sometime now but nothing more." 

"Don't worry. You'll know when you're ready. Meanwhile, enjoy all the chivalry while you get it." 

"Amen to that." I continued to laugh.

"Hello. Sorry I'm late. Traffic." It was Chad.

"Hello Chad. Have a seat." I said pulling out a chair for him.

"Would you like anything?" CJ asked him.

"No thanks."

"Well, we should get to the point. Chad, I know you can't remember the guy's face but I'm going to show to a few mug shots and see if you can point out anyone or recall anything." 

"Miss, I really don't think I'll be able to do that. I honestly wouldn't be able to recognize him."

"Chad, just have a look at this photos okay?" I asked him politely.

He nodded as CJ laid all the six photos on the table. Chad looked at them intensely. I turned nervously at CJ only to see her just as nervous as me. It seemed like eternity before any of us spoke.

"If I had to choose someone, and I won't be testifying on this…..but I would place my money on this guy." He said as he pointed on a picture.

CJ and I took a deep breath and looked at the picture. Oh my god. It was Aaron McCain. The guy with the sexual assault charges. CJ looked at me and gave a slick smile.

"Thank you Chad. You have been a tremendous help!" CJ said as she got up.

"Yes. Thanks a lot. Sorry for taking up your time." I said.

"No problem. Well, glad I was of help. See you around." With that, we left and headed back to the office.

We filled in Sam and Josh about our meeting with Chad. 

"I'm going to talk to Jane and we'll get some cops involved and we are going to nail this guy very soon!" CJ said vengefully.

However good that sounds, I know there's a huge possibility that we are on to the wrong guy. 

Monday has come starting with a very busy schedule for Josh. That means a whole lot of work for me as well. We didn't even have time for a proper lunch. I stuffed Josh's backpack with a roast chicken sandwich. I hope he'll find it during his meeting at the hill. 

It's almost 7pm now and we still have heaps to get through. Nothing major so I guess I can postpone some stuff for tomorrow. 

"Carol ordered Chinese for the four of us. It'll be here in a short while. I've got a lot to discuss with you guys at my office." I hear CJ telling me very quickly as she passes by my desk.

I pass the message to Josh and Sam. We arrived at CJ's office just in time for the food. I can't begin to tell how famished I am. 

"I spoke to Jane. She's very optimistic about what we found out. Anyway, she has some good contacts with the DCPD and now we've got two police officers with us. They had planned a strategy while they were updating things with me. So, this is how it's going to be. The police have the guy's address and details. They'll be following him around this week. This weekend, hopefully he'll be on his 'venture 'as it'll be four weeks since his last attack. I'll be the target, miserable, vulnerable and all.  Sam and Jane will be with me. They'll be a couple. Leaving me alone after a while. The same way it was with Donna. " 

"Hey, I haven't even seen this Jane person. You want me to act as her boyfriend?" Sam sounded a little squeaky saying that. 

"The police officers have other obligations. Like tailing him, keeping us safe, getting backup and all, Sam. You're it." CJ said is her no-nonsense voice. 

"Don't worry Sam. She's really nice. You'll like her." I chipped in hoping Sam wouldn't mind doing it. I feel bad enough dragging everyone into my problem. I really don't want any of them to do anything they don't want.

"Okay. I'll have to meet her first though." 

"No problem. Now if you'll just shut up, I can continue. Anyway, the police will tail him Friday and Saturday night. We'll be waiting near his target area wearing earpieces. If he goes to a bar or nightclub, the cops will let us know which one and we'll go there. Then we'll try to get him to notice me and I'll take it from there. The cops said we need to get him putting in the drugs and taking the victim home and some indication that he wants to rape her." 

"CJ will you actually have to drink it, if he offers you the drugged drink?" I asked CJ worriedly. I really wouldn't want her to do that. 

"Yeah. It's the only way. Otherwise I wouldn't know how to act. The cops are going to give me a fake ID with an address of a place they will fit with security cameras and such. So, there's nothing to worry about. The cops will follow him anyway. Besides, this is only if he is actually the guy and he'll actually fall for the trap…. which is probably a long shot."

"Wow…..you guys really thought it through. So, where will Josh and I be? Just around the nightclub?" I asked visioning us spying through while holding menu cards.

"No, you are not going anywhere near the club." 

"No way in hell you will be there."

"He'll recognize you. We can't take that risk."

Woah! Talk about ganging up on me! They were all talking at the same time. I never thought I wouldn't be a part of the 'final act'. 

"Come on guys, if CJ can wear a blond wig, I'm sure I can wear a disguise as well. Besides, there'll be so many people there. There's no way in hell he'll recognize me." I pleaded, trying to reason with them.

"We'll see about that Donna." Josh said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. 

This is my chance. Watch out, Josh's dumpling, I'm coming at you!

"Hey, you stole my dumpling!!" Josh tried to take it back from me but I was too quick for him.

"Well, if you wanted it so much, you should have been guarding it better." I joked.

"Yeah, yeah…whatever. But I'll get my revenge. You won't know where, you won't know how…but it's coming." I laughed at Josh's threat. He looked so cute threatening me. I could just eat him up…but I won't. 

"Will you two stop it for just a few minutes? It's getting nauseating…even worse that I'm eating." CJ sounded really annoyed with us. I think she's just kidding, but you can never be too sure.

"Oh yeah... Where are you going to get your blond wig from, CJ?" Sam asked.

"Blond wig? CJ, is there something going on I should know about?" 

Oh, dear. The four us turn towards the door and found Toby standing there. Okay, how in the world are we going to pull out of this mess?

TO BE CONTINUED…………. 


	16. Part 16

Part 16

"Oh, hi Toby. How's it going? Long time no see." Sam said chirpily. I'm guessing Sam's trying to misdirect Toby from the whole wig thing.

"Long time no see? My office is next to yours." Toby responded as he took a few steps into the office, still looking at CJ for some clarification.

"So, you need anything Toby? There's probably more takeout with Carol. Grab some and join us." Now CJ was trying the misdirection.

"No, I already ate. So……the wig?" Shoot. 

"Errr…well….My niece is having her 15th birthday party and …..and it's a Greek mythological themed party. So, I decided to go as Aphrodite…….Need a blond big for that. You know any good place to get one?" Wow!! What a save! A ridicules one but nevertheless, it's a save. No wonder she's the press secretary. 

"Okay…..no CJ, I don't know a good place to buy it. Wig shopping isn't my kinda thing." Toby says monotonously. Like there's any other way he'd say it.

"Well….I should get back to work." With that awkward tone, he left. 

"Nice save, Aphrodite" Josh said sarcastically.

"Hah, like you could have come up with anything better in that time." I said.

"Exactly. Thank you Donna." CJ said glaring at Josh.

"Well, I've got to wrap up some things and I'm off." Sam said getting up.

"Yeah, me too. I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow. I'll keep you updated." CJ said.

Sam and Josh left CJ's office while I stayed behind.

"CJ, I want you to know how grateful I am for what you have done and still doing. I know how incredibly busy you are and to add all this to your schedule….and to get so much done……I honestly don't know how to thank you. I feel I should be doing much more." I express myself to CJ.

"Donna, no thanks necessary but you're most welcome anyway. Don't worry about it. My schedule has not been excruciating and that's why I'm able to do all the investigating I could. Donna, even if we were in a middle of some extreme national crisis, I would do this anyway. I'm just glad I am able to help out. It's not an inconvenience in any way." 

I smile at her. Whatever did I do to deserve such a wonderful friend.

**********************************************************************

"Josh, you have senior staff at Leo's office at 8am before going to the Oval Office." 

"Ah, Donna my darling. No hello, how was your night alone?" 

Last night, after CJ briefed us with what the police said, Donna decided to spend the night at her apartment. Something about laundry, cleaning, having a place she practically doesn't live in. Despite my arguments she still went back alone to her place.

 I had the worst night last night. It's so weird, I spent more than three decades of sleeping without Donna next to me and now I can't even begin to fall asleep without her. 

"Yes Josh. I'm sorry I left you alone for one night. Leo's office, now!" She's being pretty bossy today. Not that I mind. 

Man, she left my office before I could give her a kiss. I miss kissing her. I'm dying to kiss her actually. But I'm guessing she or Leo would kill me if I don't go for the meeting right now.

As expected, I was the last one to the meeting. I'm guessing the others just arrived as well. 

"Great. Glad you could all make it. I'm having this meeting because of an interesting call I got last night. It was from an old acquaintance of mine who happens to be a reporter. He said that he heard that my senior staff was going to nightclubs asking questions to bartenders like FBI agents or something. Does anyone want to explain that?" 

Shit. Shit!!! I gulp and look over at Sam. He looks back at me with his eyes practically popping out. 

"Leo, shouldn't a call from a reporter come to me?" CJ asked. I'm glad someone was able to speak at this moment.

"Well, it didn't, did it? It came to me. So could someone explain what's going on?" Leo's getting really annoyed. 

"Leo, I'll handle it. Just let me know who called you." CJ said.

"You can get the details off Margaret. So, what is it?" 

"Leo, it's nothing to do with the administration. It's private." I said.

"Nothing is private when you are the senior staff of the White House." Leo growled.

Damn it. What are we going to tell him? There's no way any of us would say anything especially without Donna here.

"Leo, just let me deal with it. I'll fix it." CJ tried convincing Leo to drop it.

"Fine. Just make sure I don't here anything about it again."

That was close. Too close. We proceeded to the Oval Office for the regular senior staff meeting.

After the meeting, CJ, Sam and I decided to discuss the situation in Sam's office.

"Okay, so what are we going to do?" Sam asked.

"Well, I'll do my best to fix this and hopefully nothing will go back to Leo again. And no telling Donna. She's got enough to worry about. And she'll probably go through the hell of telling the whole story to Leo and whomever just to save our asses." CJ said.

"Yeah, I agree. Tell me if you want me to make any calls. Do anything to fix this ok?" I told CJ, kind of hoping I would be needed.

"Sure."

The rest of the day was hectic as always. I went up to the hill and to three other meetings out of the White House. I'm also getting nervous for this Friday night. I truly hope everything will turn out just fine. I'm getting worried about CJ. The last thing we need is for something to go wrong when she is under the influence. Of course, this is all assuming that we've got the right guy and he falls for the trap. And like CJ said, that would be a long shot. Arrrrggghh….I hate not knowing what's going to happen. But most of all I hate not having any control over this. It is all out of my hands. I think that's what's bugging me the most. Plus it seems that my involvement in this is rather minimal. I'm the one who loves Donna the most and yet I barely contributed anything to this investigation. And it doesn't seem like I'll be contributing much more considering the fact that I'm barely involved for the upcoming plan. With Sam being with Jane and CJ being the target and the cops doing their thing. For all I know my existence is just a burden to them all. 

"Josh? Josh?"

"Huh?" What the….When the heck did I get back to my office? Right, I walked back from the hill. Damn that was fast.

"Josh, are you okay? You just walked passed my desk and I tried to get your attention. You didn't say anything. Did something happen on the hill? Did the meeting not go well? Josh?"

Well, you guessed it. It's Donna who's all worried about me.

"I'm alright Donna. I'm sorry I had things on my mind. I guess I didn't hear you. Things went fine at the hill and with the other meetings." I tried to calm her down. She did sound rather worried.

"Oh, good. Well, do you want to talk about it?"

"Talk about what?"

"The thing that is occupying that genius mind of yours." I smirk at that comment.

"Don't worry about it Donna. It's nothing." I hope she'll drop this.

"Well, it's obviously not nothing. I haven't seen you this dazed since…..well whenever." Nope, I guess she's not dropping this. Like I had a chance in hell anyway. 

"Not now Donna. Maybe later tonight…when you get to my place. You are coming tonight aren't you?" I think I sounded a little desperate there. Oh heck, I am more than a little desperate.

"Yeah, I'll come by tonight. I'm done with all the work I needed to do for now at my apartment." 

"Great."

*******************************************************

Josh has been rather dazed today. He says it's nothing due to his meetings. I'm guessing it's not because he wants to talk about it tonight. I'm rather apprehensive about the whole situation. I have no idea what he's about to tell me. It could be anything and it's driving me bananas. But I guess I'll just have to live with that. I really should concentrate on what typing write now. 

The day went by really slow today. Probably because I've been counting the minutes until it's time to go home as I'm dying with curiosity as to what Josh is about to tell me.

We had dinner at a pizza place and then went back to Josh's place. We just discussed about work stuff during dinner. 

Now I'm in bed waiting for Josh to get out of his shower. I'll just flick the tv channels in the mean time. 

"What you watching, honey?" 

Wow, I felt a little tingle hearing him call me 'honey'. That's new. 

"Erm…just flicking between Leno and Letterman……ooh! Brad Pitt is on Letterman. God, just when you thought he can't look any hotter…."

"Donna, I'm standing here half naked in front of you and you find Brad Pitt fascinating? I'm insulted." Josh said with in his mocking manner.

I look towards him and I see what he's talking about. He's practically dripping wet with only a towel tied around his waist. Tied pretty low I must add. Mmm….yummy…..

"Eh. You're all right. I guess you'll have to do….since Brad is married and all." I said jockingly but in a serious manner.

"I'm hurt Donnatella." Josh proceeded to put on his pajamas. 

He then climbed into the bed and reached for me by placing one hand across my waist and kissing my face.  God, it feels so good. Concentrate, Donnatella!

"Josh? You said you wanted to talk about what was on your mind." I said pushing him away as lightly as I could.

"Ah, that. And here I thought you forgot about it. I should have known better. Okay, what do you want to know?"

"Well, I have no idea what's going on. So, I wouldn't really know what to ask, would I ?" What's the matter with him?

"Fine. It's really nothing Donna. Just something silly. I just….I just feel a little…well….useless in this whole investigation." Josh looks away from me.

"What? Why?" 

Why the heck would he think that? I touch his shoulder as he sits up on the bed.

"Well, CJ gets everything done before I can even think of any possibilities to go about anything. Don't get me wrong, I'm ever so grateful to her. It's just that, it doesn't seem like any of you need me. Sam is gonna be needed when we go to the club on Friday. Jane's doing her bit, and she's done so much already…and the cops. I mean, I'm the one who loves you the most and I'm not doing anything remotely useful." 

Oh dear….I'm in love with the biggest dumbkis in the world. 

"Joshua, Josh, Josh. You are a stupid, stupid man."

"Yeah, kick a guy while he's down, would'ya ."

"Do you have any clue how much of an angel you've been to me throughout this whole ordeal? Josh, I would be on the verge of breaking if it wasn't for you. Josh, we needed you there the whole time. When we went to the clubs, every time we were brainstorming, we needed you there. I need you now more than ever." I rub his shoulder.

He still doesn't look at me. Why isn't he saying anything? 

"Josh?" 

He turns to me and places his palm on my cheek.

"Do you really need me?" He asks timidly. Aw, he's so sweet. Dumb as a log, but sweet.

"Yeah, silly. So much so that it scares me sometimes. Josh, you are doing the best you can and that's all that matters to me." I lean towards him and kiss him lightly on the lips. Lingering there longer that I intended to.

The kiss deepened. Josh moved his hands into my head and leaned on me as we both fell back on the bed. Josh moves his lips from mine and starts sucking on my neck. Oh….oh…wow! This feels so good.

His hands are reaching for my pajama top. He unbuttons the first two buttons and moves his mouth towards my skin that is now exposed. Wow. I close my eyes and take deep breaths hoping my heart would stop racing. 

No…no….he's hurting me. No.

"No!! No!!!" 

"Donna, Donna!!! It's okay. It's just me."

Oh my god! It happened again. It was so awful.

"God, Josh. I'm so sorry. I didn't think…..I thought…."

"Shhh….It's okay Donna. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…I should have asked you, talked to you first." Josh fumbles as he buttons back my top.

"It's okay Josh. I wanted to. I still do. God, with the therapy and all. I should be getting better. I don't know why. God, I hate this!"

"Sweety, it's alright. We'll get thorough this. I promise. Were…were the images really bad? Like the last time?" Josh asked me as he held me.

"Kind of.  Not as bad, I think." 

"Okay." Josh kissed my forehead.

"What if it never goes away?" I asked.

"It will. I promise. You don't have to go through this alone. You don't have to go through anything alone ever again, Donna."

"I love you, Josh. I'm sorry I have to put you through this. You've been so patient and this is not fair to you."

"Donna, it's alright. As long as I have you next to me, nothing else matters."

We drifted off to sleep in each others arms.

Friday came before I realized it. All plans are set for tonight. Sam had met with Jane yesterday so he wouldn't feel too awkward about the whole 'couple' thing. Josh seems a little better about the whole 'I'm not needed' phase. I on the other hand, am a nervous wreck. If this is not the guy, I would have no idea where else to turn to. And if this is the guy, and something goes wrong….god, I don't want even want to think of the possibilities.

"Hey, you all set for tonight?" Sam's voice snapped me from my wondering mind.

"Oh….well I guess I'm as ready as expected. How bout you? Ready to have a pretend girlfriend for the night?" I teased.

"Well, I met her yesterday. She's kinda cute. And funny as well…and smart. I think we'll be able to work well tonight. It won't be awkward." 

"My, my, Sam. That's interesting. Getting a crush on a certain reporter are we?" This is fun.

"No. No. I mean, I barely know her. She's nice and all. I'm not saying she's not dating material. But that doesn't mean…" 

"Okay Sam. You can stop talking now."

"Thank you." With that, he left my sight.

Making Sam squirm could be my new fun thing to do.

I continued doing the index card on the report Josh wanted. 

"Donna, we should get going. Get ready. The cops wanted to brief us." CJ told me.

"All right. I'm coming. Where are we off to anyway?" 

"We're meeting Jane at the police department." 

The four of us nervously went to police department where we met Jane. Jane took us into a detective's office. 

"Hello. I'm Detective Riedel. It's nice to meet you all." 

Jane introduced all of us to the detective. He is a tall, well built man with dark hair. He's probably in his mid-forties. 

CJ had already met and discussed her role with the detective earlier this week as she has the biggest part.

"Okay. Have a seat everyone. Let's get down to business. I assume you all know the main layout of the plan. We've had two of our guys follow our suspect around. So far nothing out of the ordinary.  He's a loner. Doesn't really communicate with anyone or go out often. The rest of you, another police officer and I will be in the full equipped police van. The cops at his place will follow him and let us know which club he goes to. Then I will go in the club." The detective explained.

"Right." Josh answers.

"And once the guy goes in, then Miss Cregg, Ms Worthington and Mr. Seaborne will go in. The others will stay in the van and monitor everything that's going on. Miss Cregg and I will be wired and I'll have a camera on. The cops who have followed the suspect will stay near his car and follow him after he leaves the club in case he has a change of plans. Another two cops will go to the house we are using as Miss Cregg's place and stand by. That house is wired with cameras and microphones. Any questions?"

We all nodded our heads indicating we didn't have any questions.

"Great. Now you all can get ready and we're off." The detective got off his chair. 

I turn towards Josh. He gives me a reassuring smile. I hope all will go as planned.

TBC……..


	17. Part 17

Part 17

We are now in the van, waiting for the go from the cops at the suspect's home. 

"Ceej, why don't you wear your wig? I'm sure we'd like to have a look. See if it fits and all." I said smirking.

"Shove it, Josh. I'll wear it when it's time." CJ responded.

Detective Riedel and the other cop, Officer Woods were setting up the monitors and microphones in the van. Officer Woods is a tall, muscular black man. He seems quite funny and easy going. 

Sam and Jane are having a private conversation at the corner of the van. Well, I guess it's not so private considering we are all stuffed in a sardine can!!

Donna is sitting with CJ looking really nervous and in her own world. I wish I could comfort her but it would just make her more uncomfortable especially when everyone is within three feet from us.

This is taking some time. The cops don't see him leaving the house apparently.

"It's getting stuffy here, I'm waiting outside." CJ announced.

"Yeah, we'll come with you." Sam said as he and Jane stood up.

"Alright, but stay within a limited parameter." Detective Riedel said.

I got up from my corner and went towards Donna to have a seat next to her.

"Hey, how you doing?"  I rubbed her back trying to read her but failing.

"I'm alright." I'm not convinced.

"Are you sure? Do you need or want anything?"

"No, I'm fine." God, she should know me better than that.

"Donna, talk to me." I said as I leaned and kissed her head.

"It's just that…Josh, it's past midnight. He's not going to show Josh. This was a whole waste of time and energy. Busy people spent their precious time for nothing."

"Donna, we still have time. If not today, then tomorrow or another day. Donna, don't loose hope. And for the busy people, they would not be wherever they don't want to be. Our place is here, with you, with the cops doing whatever that is within our capabilities and more. Don't you ever feel guilty about that."

Donna let out a loud sigh and looked at me.

"I know. You can't imagine how much I appreciate all of you. I just don't want all of this to be just a useless effort that's all." Donna said as she laid her head on my shoulder.

We waited rather impatiently for another two hours, each of us going in and out of the van. 

"Guys, I think we're done for the night. It's 2am. He wouldn't leave this late. We've studied the time frame of all the other cases. Better luck tomorrow." Riedel said.

"Yup. Don't get bummed out guys. There's still tomorrow." Officer Woods continued as he was shutting off his equipments.

The rest of us said our goodnights and left in our respective cars. 

Donna didn't say much on our ride back home. I guess I pretty much know what is going on in her mind. I wish I could put her mind at ease but that's quite unlikely considering I'm having pretty much the same fears as well.

"Come to bed Donna." I don't think she noticed me getting out of the shower and into the bed. She has been busy starring out of the window from the time she got out of the bathroom. 

"Oh, alright." Donna got into the bed with me and turned off the bedside lamp. 

"Donna, everything will turn out just fine." I don't even know if I believe that myself.  

"What if it doesn't? What if we never catch this guy? I mean, for crying out loud, we don't even know if we're tracking the right guy."

"Donna, I can't promise you that the right guy will be caught. What I can promise is that CJ, Sam and I will try our very best to get this guy. I also can promise you that I will be here for you to get through this no matter how long and hard it will be. Every step of the way." I hug her from the back as she had her back facing me.

"Yeah….It's just so frustrating not knowing or having any control over this." 

"I know honey. I know." 

She finally drifted off to sleep. I'm finding it almost impossible to fall asleep before she does. I think I want to make sure she feels safe enough to fall asleep.

We went to the office late in the morning. Seems like a light day for me and Sam. Not too sure about CJ.   

"Josh, Toby's here to see you." Donna said.

"Yeah, send him in." Toby entered shutting the door behind him.

"Hey, Josh. I need to go for a meeting with Congressman Turner, I think I need you there." 

"Sure Toby, is it about the college incentives? I'm there." 

"Yup. We'll leave about 9.30." Toby started to leave my office.

"What…Wait!" Okay, didn't expect to throw my voice as much.

"What?" Toby looks annoyed. In other words, he looks the same as he always does.

"Oh, I've got plans tonight." I hope he can deal with this without me.

"Plans? Social plans?" This is not good.

"Well, yeah."

"Josh, do you know how important this meeting is? Congressman Turner is an incredible busy man. For crying out loud, he's having a meeting on 9.30pm on a Saturday night because that's the only time his secretary could schedule me in. What could possibly more important than that? Especially not social plans." He's raising his voice by the syllable.

"Toby, this is really, really important to me. I can't make it tonight." I plead not knowing what else to say.

"Well, what is it? What is it that's so important?" He's not letting go. I should get him a pie or something.

"It's personal Toby. I know how important this meeting is and you know I would never in my sabotage it by any means. But this is just…." 

"Fine, fine. I'll get Sam." Nooooooooo!!!

"No!!!" Okay, did I say that out loud? I mean REAL loud.

"What? What?" Damn, he said that just as loud as I did but with incredible annoyance in his voice.

"Look Toby, I'll make notes for you and get extra research done by today on this issue."

"Alright, but why can't I take Sam?" Of all the times for Toby to give a damn about anything, he picks this.

"He's involved with my thing." 

"Okay, could you like never ever phrase a sentence like that. You're giving a very frustrated man a mental scar." I agree, that sounded bad.

"Toby, I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you." 

Toby rubbed his face and let out a long sigh.

"Fine, fine. You do whatever you have to. Make sure it doesn't interfere with things like this anymore." Yes, yes! Oh yeah!!

"I promise." I try my best not to start grinning like an idiot. God, I hope I keep this promise. 

I sink back into my chair as Toby leaves. That was a close call.

"Josh? Voices were raised." That's so like Donna. State the obvious and expect a full detailed explanation.

"Yeah, Toby wanted me to come for a meeting tonight. I said I had important personal stuff to take care off. He got pissed. Wanted to take Sam. I refused saying Sam was involved as well. He finally gave up. Everything's fine. Nothing to worry about." 

Doesn't look like Donna's just gonna except that. She's looking at me with some form of disappointment. 

"Josh, I know how important work is. Toby's not going to ask you to come for just any meeting on Saturday night. You need to go. It's obviously important. And we'll be fine without you. Honest."

"Donna, Toby's says it's fine. It's over. I'm coming with you guys tonight. That's final. It's not a matter of national emergency or anything Donna." I hope I convinced her.

"Alright. But if he asks you again…I don't want you to get in trouble Josh." 

"This is not high school, Donna. I'm not going to get in trouble." I sound a bit cocky there. 

Donna is giving me 'the look'. You know the one she raises her eyebrows and places a hand on her hip and puts most of a weight on one leg.  She really looks sexy like this. But we're gonna keep that to ourselves, aren't we? I don't think she'll appreciate that very much.

"Okay…I do get in trouble once in a while….Fine…all the time. Happy?" 

"Yes." With that she turns around swiftly with her hair swinging and leave's my office. It's funny how she's the only person that can get the last word with me. Okay, CJ as well.

But CJ doesn't leave me feeling quite aroused. Okay buddy, back to work.

************************************************************************

We're back in the van. I don't want to be a pessimist and that's not who I am…but I really don't think it's going to be any different today than it was yesterday. We've been here for more than an hour. Everyone has been coming in and out of the van mainly to get some air guess. Well, everyone except me. I don't feel like moving. Apparently CJ notices that too. She's nodding her head indicating for me to go with her outside. I do as she wishes.

"Girl, you need some air. You haven't moved an inch." CJ says as we walk a few feet away from the van."

I let out a short laugh. "Yeah, I know."

"It's going to be okay Donna. I feel it's gonna happen. Soon."

"Well I hope so. But if it doesn't happen today….CJ, I don't want all of you to spend any more time on this."

"Donna, I will not give up on this even if today doesn't happen. If you expect me to, well you can just kiss my ass."

I laugh out loud. Definitely didn't expect that. 

"Guys! Guys!" What the….Sam's calling us looking kinda frantic. Oh gosh…..

CJ and I look at each other. Both of us having really nervous and shocked looks. 

We get in the van quickly. I notice the speakers are on, enabling us to hear the cops following McCain.

"He's driving through Northland now. Get ready guys. I have a feeling he's on the way there." We hear one of the cops through the speaker.

Officer Woods jumped into the driver's seat as CJ ties up her hair. I feel my face burning and my heart racing. 

"Where is he going now, McGregor?" Detective Riedel asks.

"Palmsby….yeah….Ok….he's turning into the Patson Street….Guy's get ready. Ok, he's at the west side. I think he's looking for parking. Turn into Vulcan Lane."

"Alright." Officer Woods starts driving.

"This is it guys." The detective states.

I felt someone touch my shoulder. It was Josh. He had a blank look. I think I did too. He keeps rubbing my shoulder. I think it's making me feel a little less numb.

"Ok, you guys there? Yeah, I see you. Stay there. Ok, he's going into….into 'Midnight'. It's between Cactus and the Compaq distributers." 

"Alright. I'm going in. Be safe guys. I'll be your eyes." Detective Riedel said referring to the tiny camera attached to him. 

"You three come in 5 to 10 minutes." He guys us a thumbs up and leaves.

"He's definitely the one Donna." I hear CJ whispering into my ear. 

"Well, I'm gonna keep my fingers crossed anyway." I say.

"No, you don't understand. He's DEFINITELY the one. 'Midnight', Donna. The letter M." 

Huge grins spread over both our faces.

"Be careful CJ." I said changing my expression into dead serious.

"I will. Promise." She puts on her blond wig. Hey, she doesn't look half bad.

Oh no. CJ's gonna kill them. Sam and Josh look like they are going to regurgitate dinner. They are so gonna burst out laughing any second.

"A peep out of either of you. I'm gonna shove this wig so far up your…"

"You look fine CJ. Let's get going." Good save, Sam. Which is a whole lot more than I could say for my man who still looks like he's got a live cod in his mouth.

Josh gets it together and wishes them good luck before the three of them leave.

"Alright guys. Just the three of us now. Grab a stool and let the show begin." The officer says.

Josh and I did as he said. We could see the picture displayed on the monitor being very shaky. I think Detective Riedel is trying to spot the guy.

"Yeah..yeah. You got him detective. That's him. Yeah, with the blue shirt." Woods says.

"Yup, I got him." We hear the detective's voice merging from the speakers. 

I noticed the guy wearing a blue shirt on the monitor. I see the resemblance of this guy to the mugshot. That's the man. That's the man who did this to me. Who made my life a living hell. I don't care if we technically haven't caught him on the act yet. I just know this is him. 

The monitor is now showing CJ, Sam and Jane entering. The detective must have noticed them entering the club.

"He's to the right of you, far right. Sitting alone." Officer Woods says to CJ and them.

We can see CJ and Sam looking around. I think they spot him.

"Yup, got him." Sam says in a whispering voice and he quickly looks around. I think he's having fun with this whole undercover thing.

"This is…this is nerve-wrecking." I turn to see Josh rubbing his eyes with his hand. 

"I know." I place my hand on his shoulder and give him a smile. I know he wishes he could do more and have some control over this. Josh is not the best 'sit back and watch' kinda person. 

"Buy a lot of drinks. Make him think you are half drunk already. But don't be silly and drink it. Throw off the drinks in the plant or someplace. Don't want you all woozy now, do we?" Woods instructs CJ. 

The monitor focuses back on Aaron McCain. He's just sitting there looking around. No one is with him. 

He's sitting there a while now. Josh and I left the stool and sat back at the seats. We just sat there with Josh's arms around my shoulders.

"He's moving guys." 

"Where's he going, officer?" Josh quickly gets up and leans behind Officer Woods.  

"Let's see shall we. I think he's headed to the bar. Yup. CJ, do your 'thang' girl." I wonder what he's talking about. We weren't there when CJ received her briefing from the cops.

Detective Riedel is rather good at this considering he has to move around to get just the right frame to be displayed on the monitor.

"All right boys, just sit and watch the pro." I heard CJ's voice. I wish I'm as confident as her.

We can see CJ nearing McCain. She leans in a sexy way about two seats away from him. She continuously taps at the bar. What a way to get someone's attention. The bartender finally comes towards her.

"Yes maam. What can I get you?" We can hear the bartender I assume. We can't see him on the screen.

"Whisky, straight up." Woah.

"You sure?" The bartender asks. 

"Yup. I need to get good and drunk tonight." Wow, that was a little loud. Oh my god, oh my god! McCain looks at her. He's starring at her.

"Yeah, girl. That's it." Officer Woods says.

"God, she's good!" Josh exclaims.

"I always knew that." What? I always have!

"Turn towards him but not look at him, CJ." The officer continues his instruction. She does as he says. Oh wow, the bastard still has his eyes on her.

CJ gets her drink and leaves. We can see McCain's eyes following her. Even though she's not on the monitor anymore. I'm certain he's looking at her.

"He's walking towards you guys! CJ, you know what to do. Sam, Jane this is your go too. This is going to have to be Oscar caliber. You hear me?" We can now see CJ sitting with Jane and Sam. 

"Oh god, he's moving behind them. He's sitting right behind them!" I say making Josh grab my shoulder tightly. A little too tightly. I look at Josh and see him starring at the monitor like his eyes are going to pop out.

Great, my hyperventilating starts again.

TBC……….


	18. Part 18

Part 18

I cannot believe this! He has to be the guy. He has to be!! Thank god I'm holding Donna's shoulder. If not I think I just might fall over. Am I holding her too hard? Nah, I don't think so. 

"Allison, he's not worth brooding over." I notice Jane starts speaking. Allison? Oh, the disguise for CJ. Hmmm….Allison actually suits her. I mean suits her blond self.

"Well, I'm not. I'm ge..getting drunk instead." CJ says. Wow, she's doing the whole slurry voice we get when we are drunk.

I notice the table filled with beer bottles and some glasses. I wonder where they dumped all the drinks.

"Come on, you're getting Stan all moody. Isn't she, my little pumpkin?" Pumpkin? Jane places her hand on Sam's face and oh my….she tickles the back of his neck. Wow, Sam's getting more than he bargained for.

I just noticed McCain slightly tilting his head. I'm sure he's trying to get a better view of them. 

"He's definitely listing to y'all." Woods announces.

"Look, we came here to have a good time. You needed to get out. Let's go dance. You're supposed to be having fun and not wallowing in self pity." Jane says back to CJ.

"Oh god. If you wanna have a good time, go ahead. Go dance! Just..just stop bugging me." 

"All right. Have it your way. Let's go Stan." Jane puts her hand on Sam and drags him away.

"He's getting up. He's getting up!!"

"We can see that Mr. Lyman. Don't have to announce it. Okay, Ms Cregg, He's moving again……….he's going towards the bar. Riedel, move to the right! We need him on the monitor."

We can see McCain back on the monitor again. He's clearly waiting for the bartender. I let go of Donna's shoulder. 

"Ah, blood circulation resumes." Eek, didn't realize I was cutting Donna's circulation.

"Shh." That earned Woods a death glare from Donna. If only he averted his eyes from the screen, he could've seen it.

I now can see McCain holding a drink. He's walking away from the bar now. He's walking to the side of the bar. He comes in and out of the monitor. The detective must be having a hard time following him at the right range nonetheless.

Ah, McCain finally stops. What the….Woah….

"Yeah Baby. We hit the jackpot!" Woods exclaims.

"Oh my god. He's actually…..Josh!" Donna exclaims and grips my arm.

We could actually see McCain somewhere in a corner taking a little bag and putting some kind of powder into the drink. Well, not really some kinda powder since we know WHAT it actually is. That son of a…..Arrggghhh! 

"All right Ms Cregg. Stay focused. He just drugged the drink. We got him!" 

We can see McCain moving again. He seems to be talking to a waitress walking by. He puts his head down and says something to her. The waitress moves away with the drink in her hand. Riedel is following the waitress now. I hope he's keeping an eye on McCain as well. 

Man, our plan is working! It actually is working! With all the odds against it, who the heck would've guessed. The drink was handed to CJ. 

"Wow. I can't believe that just happened. I mean I saw it but…….does she have to drink it? Is it necessary? I mean we got him already. It's obvious what's gonna happen next." I see Donna's point. But I think the police know what their doing.

"Yeah but the last thing we need is him getting some leeway. There are no witnesses for all the other cases. It's hard to pin him as a serial rapist with just what we have. We're looking to get him hard. Maximum penalty." Woods makes sense.

He places his microphone back and speaks to CJ. "Ms Cregg. We have your back. I promise. We'll be following you. You have your earpiece. He's just one guy. But it's up to you to drink it." With that CJ takes a big gulp from the drink. Man she's brave. She didn't even flinch. 

"God, I can hardly breath." Donna says as she places her hand on her heart. I know how she feels.

We can see CJ getting unfocused. Her eyes are struggling to be open and she's swaying a bit. My god, this would have been the same thing Donna endured. And now Donna can see what happened to her. All her answers are right in front of her face. I hope this doesn't make things worse for her. That's the very last thing she needs.

"He's approaching her." The monitor now shows McCain on the move. We can see Jane and Sam as he passes by them. Even from this screen, we can see that their eyes show fear and incredible apprehension. 

McCain approaches CJ. He whispers something in her ear for sometime. We can't hear it. He's far from CJ's microphone.

"All right, he's taking her. Everyone leave as soon as he leaves the club but make sure it doesn't seem obvious. McGregor, Seaman, stand by." Woods says, using those walkie- talkie things to address the other two cops who are going to follow McCain.

We see him leave the club. Woods jumps back into the driver's seat and asks us to keep an eye on the monitor. I noticed hands grabbing what's left of the drink CJ had and pouring it into a plastic bag. That has to be Riedel collecting evidence. 

We hear knocking at the back of the van. It's Sam and Jane. The detective follows just behind them.

"Okay guys, let's go." Detective Riedel gives the go and gives the warning to the officers at the apartment. 

"Okay, he's finally moving. It seemed like he must have been looking for her address." We can hear McGregor on the speaker again. 

Officer Woods started to drive according to the other cop's directions.

"You guys were great." Donna says to Jane and Sam.

"Well, I just hope everything will be alright with CJ. That's all that matters now." Jane responded.

"I just can't wait till we get that bastard. And it's so close." Sam continues.

I put my arm on Sam hoping he'll understand how much I've appreciated what he's done. He gives me a knowing smile.  

"We're here. He's fallen for the bait." Yes!!!! He's come to the house as we expected. God, I hope he hasn't hurt CJ.

Officer Woods parked the car further away from the house. He comes to the back and clicks a bunch of switches and connects several wires. And voila, the images of the house appear on the screen. He can switch to different areas of the house by clicking the number of the corresponding security camera. 

Detective Riedel was communicating with the police officers who were apparently at the back door of the house. 

I can now see McCain dragging CJ into the house. He then opens the doors at several rooms. Woods switches the camera numbers pretty fast. 

"Okay, this is it. Standby guys. He's at the master room." I hear the detective telling the cops at the house.

Oh dear god. He's putting CJ on the bed in one of the rooms. He's starting to unbutton her blouse.

"Come on! They've got to go in now!!" I shouted. What else do the cops need?!

"All right. Get in there!" Finally! 

Gross! He's starting to lick or suck her face. Arrghhh…if I could just go in there myself and punch the living daylights out of him.

"Get him! Get him!" Sam exclaims.

We see the cops go in and point guns at him. He raises his arms upright. They handcuff him. I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. 

"We've got to go get CJ." Donna says to Riedel.

"Don't worry McGregor and Seaman are taking her straight to the hospital. We're taking her to Potomac Hospital not GW, so that it will be less likely for her to be easily recognized." 

"Alright. I wanna go with her." Donna says.

"Yeah, me too." Sam joins her.

"I wanna go give a piece of my mind to McCain."

"NO!!!" Wow, talk about ganging up on me. 

"Josh, we don't want him to see you. We don't want him to know any of us were involved. It's the only way to retain Donna's privacy. Being who you are, this is the last thing you need. And Donna, Sam…..we want to remain discrete. They're going to find out about the date rape drug. The last thing they need is a reminder who CJ is. I'll go. I'll be on the cell with you the whole time. I promise. I'll also make sure no one finds out who she is." Jane makes a lot of sense. I've got to calm my boiling anger down.

"That's going to be hard isn't it?" I ask her. CJ is the press secretary after all. I guess we didn't really think this through.

"Good thing not many people know her as Claudia. And I have a doctor friend at that hospital who knows we're coming in. He'll make sure all the records are kept confidential and there's no leak." Jane says. Wow, I guess she thought this through. 

"We'll drop Jane at the hospital. Good job guys. We did it. It's over. Ms Moss, I hope this gives you some form of closure that I'm sure you needed. Thank you all for all your help in getting this guy what he deserves." 

"No, thank you detective, and officer. There's no way we would have gotten to this point without you." Isn't that so like my Donna?

"Yeah, thank you. I don't know how to repay you." I say to them.

"Well, cutting off income tax could be a start." We all laugh at Officer Wood's comment.

Later than night Sam, Donna and I went into the police station to give our statements. We managed to meet the other cops that helped us and thanked them. 

Jane called from the hospital and told us that they pumped out some of the toxin from CJ and took a blood test. CJ's also awake but weak and tired. The hospital is releasing her tonight itself due to the special help provided by Jane's doctor friend. Whoever he is, I should express my gratitude. Donna made sure Jane brings CJ to my place so she can spend the night with us. I completely agreed with Donna. Which is why, at 2am, I'm helping Donna make up the guest room for CJ.

"Hey, CJ okay?" I ask as Donna finally enters my bedroom.

"Yup. I didn't want to leave until she fell asleep. I'm sorry."

"That's okay. Thank god it's Sunday tomorrow. CJ's not going to the office at all."

"Yeah, I know. That's good." Donna slides under the covers with me.

I just realize I didn't even hug or kiss Donna the whole day. Even when everything ended. I suck. 

"Come here." I stretched out my arms towards her as she leans in.

"It's over darling. It's finally over. How do you feel about it?" 

"I do feel like a huge weight has been lifted off me. Honestly, I literally feel lighter. I think I'm breathing better as well. I didn't even know I've not been breathing properly all this while." Donna laughed a little and so did I.

"But…."

"But what Donna?"

"I just don't want to feel too happy or burden free. After all, he's not sentenced yet. Heck, we don't even know what he's pleading. I mean, it could go on….."

"Donna, stop. It's over. They pinned him tonight no matter what. Don't think about all that stuff. Just let it go. Feel free to be burden free for the rest of the night at least." 

"Okay. I will. I'm just going to relax and fall asleep in the arms of the man I love. Isn't life just perfect?" Oh yeah baby. I'm so da' man.

Sunday went on well. We were in the office for about five hours. Donna and I just relaxed the rest of the day. Much needed rest I must say.

"Joshua, Leo's office now! I told you about a minute and a half ago!" 

"Alright Donna. I'm going. Geez, give a guy a break at 7.30am on a Monday morning, will 'ya."  Man, she's strict. 

I walk into Leo's office to see, as usual, Toby, Sam and CJ all there before me. 

"Finally, you decided to join us Josh." Leo sounds kinda mad. Well, he always sounds mad but this time he seems really upset.

"Sorry." Well, what else can I say?

"Okay, as you can see I'm really pissed. You know why? Because you didn't fix it as you said you would." Leo points at CJ. What is he talking about?

"What…..didn't I fix?" CJ looks as confused as me.

"The reporter asking about my senior staff going to bars, asking odd questions. He contacted me again. Says something about you guys investigating some guy who drugged people in the bar. What the hell is going on? And don't give me some crap. We are not leaving until I get the truth, the whole truth."

"And nothing but the truth?" Hey, I can't help it. Okay, maybe I should shut my mouth for a change. Leo starring at me. I try not to look directly coz I think his stare just might kill me. 

"Damn it. That guy….he said..." 

"I don't give a damn what he said to you. Or whatever deal you proposed. He obviously decided not to take it and continued to pursue this. Probably because it's worth being pursued. So, just tell me what the heck is going on!?" Leo cut CJ abruptly. 

"Don't look at me, I'm just as clueless as you." Toby speaks up. 

"Josh? Sam?" Leo looks at us only causing us to look anywhere but his eyes.

Argh…we are not in third grade anymore. I have to speak up.

"It's someone else's privacy involved here Leo. That's why we can't say anything Leo." 

"Look, I don't think you heard me. I don't give a rat's ass. We have a country to run and I don't have time to waste. Who's going to tell me now?" 

Leo is responded by silence once again. I look up to see him rubbing his face. 

"Do I know this person?" Do we say something? Do we not? CJ looks at me and so does Sam. I think they are expecting me to give an answer to Leo. 

"Your looks tell me that I do know this person. So, I want to hear from this person by the end of the day. And that's a whole day longer than I should give you."

"Leo, it's not that simple. I can't…." I start but am cut off by Leo. Which is fine by me as I wouldn't know how continue anyway.

"It is that simple. We have to go to the Oval now." Leo opens his side door and leaves.

Toby glares at all of us. I'm guessing Sam and CJ are feeling just as guilty and helpless as me. Just when we thought it was all over. Don't we deserve some break? I think we do. 

CJ and I decided to join Sam at his office as soon as the meeting was over. 

"We need to talk to her. It's the only way." Sam says. Like hell.

"No way. She's just letting all of this go. We can't put her through this. We have to protect her."

"I understand that Josh. Believe me I do. But I'm with Sam here. We haven't got much of a choice Josh. You saw how Leo was. There's no other way out of this. And you know how hard it is for me to say this." Great, CJ's against me as well now.

"I'm supposed to protect Donna, Ceej. I couldn't before but now I have some control over this." I only just manage to get that out as I hear someone clearing his throat which caused all of us snapped our head towards the door.

"I'm sorry to have eavesdropped." Shit. Just when we needed more problems. It was Toby.

"Well you did, didn't you?" I snap. Ok, maybe he didn't totally deserve that but I just can't help it.

"For what it's worth…I mean I don't have a clue what's actually going on. But I know it's Donna you are protecting. I know Donna and I know she's a fighter. She can handle a whole lot more than you are giving her credit for. I witnessed that first hand after Rosslyn. How she took care of you and indirectly, all of us. Give her a chance to decide whether she could talk to Leo. Just give her the chance to make the decision herself. If you don't, you know Leo will find his ways and Donna would probably eventually find out. You think she would forgive any of you for that?" Ok…..Alright…Maybe he has a point.

"Well, that's just my opinion. Just remember you have until the end of the day." With that, Toby leaves the room.

TBC………. 


	19. Part 19

Part 19

I do feel different. I don't know if it is closure or letting go of the whole horror I've been through. I know I told Josh I wouldn't think about the possibility of a trial and all that, but it's just so hard. I might jinx it if I'm too happy before it's completely over. And that's what I did the whole of Sunday. Racking my mind about the possibilities that could occur. Well, that's not just all. I also worked for about five hours and followed CJ and Jane to the police department to give in their statements. The police seemed confident things would go our way. I hope their right. 

Where's Josh? Senior staff should have been over by now. I hope he's not getting yelled at for being late. Scrap that. I hope he is getting yelled at. It would teach him a thing or two. Ah, speaking of the devil.

"Did the meeting run long?" I follow Josh to the office as he apparently didn't notice me standing at the doorway. It looks like the meeting didn't go too well. Josh got his pissed look on. You know, the one where his dimples show and his month is shut tight.

Josh is looking at me. Well, more like starring. Not the good kind. 

"Josh? Something the matter?" I sure hope I didn't do something wrong. I can't think of anything I may have screwed up recently.

"Hey."

"Hi Donna." 

It was CJ and Sam entering Josh's office and shutting the door behind them. Okay, this doesn't look good. I'm seriously freaking out now. They all have the look like they are about to break some bad news to me. And why do I have a feeling it's about McCain?

"Sit down guys." Josh looks at me as well when saying that. I took a seat at Josh's desk as CJ and Sam sat on the couch.

"Donna, we have a problem. Something came up." CJ starts.

"I think I got that. What is it? Just spill it." I look at all of them alternately.

"Leo got a call from a reporter. Apparently the senior staff of The White House asking investigative questions in nightclubs is something to report about." Oh my god. This can't be happening. 

"CJ…..I…..what do they know?" 

"Nothing much apparently. They know we were asking about someone who drugged drinks in the clubs. I don't think they know which one of us was there. Well, I think they assumed it was all of us." I can't believe CJ is telling me this. I knew I shouldn't have been too happy. Even if it was for a short period. Jinx!

"When did Leo tell you this?" 

"He told us about a week back. But we said we would handle it and he let it go." Josh tells me this. A week ago? 

"A week? Why didn't anyone tell me?"

"We didn't want to upset you or burden you more than you had to be. Anyway, I tried to make a deal with that reporter. He was keen on taking it and I was sure he would. But anyway, he wasn't keen on it and bugged Leo about it again. That was what the meeting was about this morning in his office. He wants the whole story. He was kinda….."

"He wanted to bite our heads off. But Josh told him there was someone else involved and we wanted to protect this person's privacy. Leo wasn't too happy with that and he wants this person to tell him everything by the end of the day." 

"But Sam doesn't mean you absolutely have to. If you can't handle it, we'll think of some other way. I know how much you wanted this to be all over. And after Saturday it seemed that way." My Josh…always trying to protect me even if his head is on the line.

"Look, it's nice of all of you to try to protect me and all. I know I've been through a lot. I'd like to believe I'm come out stronger at the end of it. I would hope you guys would believe the same. I'll talk to Leo. Don't worry bout me."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, CJ." Well, I think I am.

I can do this. "Hey, Margaret. Is Leo free now?"

"Yes. I'll go tell him you're here….is everything alright?" I look at her. She has the ability to read anyone from a mile away.

"Not really. I need to tell me something he wanted to know." She doesn't believe me but she'll accept it. That's just how Margaret is.

"Hey, Leo." I walk into his office nervously.

"Hi Donna. What can I do for you? Do I need to kill Josh?" Sometimes I don't know if he's kidding or not. 

"No. it's…..this might take some time. Are you busy?"

"I'm always busy but that doesn't mean I can't hear you out. Have a seat Donna."

I do as he told. "Leo, this is about your meeting this morning. About the reporter and the senior staff asking odd questions at clubs…."

"What have you got to do with it?" I look at Leo. I think I'm trying to communicate to him telepathically.

"Oh. You're the person…." Yup, he got it.

"Yes. Leo, I'm so sorry it had to come to this. I….I actually didn't know about the reporter until today. Apparently everyone seems to think I wouldn't be able to handle it and they wanted to protect me."

"Yeah, I think got that vibe from them." Leo sounds like he was kidding. I bet that would all go away once I tell him the story.

"Leo, where the hell….ah Donna, what brings you here on this side of the building?" Oh god, tell me this is not happening. This is not  President Bartlet. It's just a figment of my imagination. Oh, who am I kidding?

"Good evening sir." I stand up then look at Leo. Please, please, please get what I'm trying to tell you, Leo. 

"Now, now, don't be shy." The President is not leaving is he?

"Donna was just telling me she is involved in what that reporter was investigating." What? The President knows about the reporter? Isn't that way out of his league?

"I know what you're thinking Donna. I was curious about the senior staff meeting that didn't include me. I heard some loud noises from the meeting as I do share a door with Leo. So I asked him about it."

"You mean wouldn't stop yacking about Mount Kinabalu unless I told you about it." Well, that explains it.

"You can tell both of us Donna. I'm going to  know either way. I'm a very resourceful man." Great, the leader of the free world wants to hear my crisis. 

Well, doesn't look like I've got any other choice. I'm just going to tell them and not think about it.

"Mr. President, Leo, what I'm about to tell you isn't easy. It isn't easy for me to tell as it won't be for you to hear. But, it has to be said." I continued telling him about everything from A to Z, well, except the details about my relationship with Josh.  

I think I just stunned the two most powerful men in the country. I'm quite stunned myself as they haven't said a word since I began. Impressive. 

"God, Donna. I…….damn it! I'm supposed to be the most powerful man in the world and I can't even keep my staff safe from a serial rapist!!" Now I've made the President feel responsible.

"Sir, these things happen. I'm sorry to say but even you can't control it." 

"Donna, are you okay about everything? I'm sorry I forced Josh and all to have you tell me what was going on. I had no idea….." Ah, now Leo is feeling guilty. I'm on a streak.

"Leo, you have every right to ask them. I'm sorry we were not discrete enough and you got a call from the reporter. You don't need this headache. CJ will try her best to get this reporter off the story. And the rest of us will help her. We'll do everything we possibly can to prevent a story."

"Don't worry about that Donna. Now that I know what's going on, I'll make sure none of this gets out if CJ doesn't manage it." Somehow, I feel like I believe Leo. 

"Donna, is there anything I could do for you? I mean, I wish you had come to us sooner but it seems like you all had a good handle over things. I'm usually not too fond of the death penalty, but I may be partial to it in this case." I giggle at that but it looks like the President was rather serious.

"No worries Mr. President. I appreciate your concerns. I really do…" I look at both of them and continue, "but I think I will be okay. I just told Josh, CJ and Sam that I'd like to think I've come out stronger from all this." 

"You are an amazingly strong woman, Donna. I'm very proud to have you in my staff. Please let me know if the police calls to tell you what that bastard pleads. I will make sure he pays for what he did, even if I have to get the secret service to slaughter him up." 

"That won't be necessary Mr. President. I believe justice will be served." Well, I hope justice will be served.

"Donna, you let us know if you need anything. Anything at all." 

"I will Leo. Really, don't worry about it. I've got enough people worrying."

They, finally let go of me. I'm heading to Josh's office to report. I'm assuming he's been waiting for me while reading the same page over and over again and not having a clue what it's about. Well, I guess I was wrong. It isn't just Josh. CJ and Sam are also at the edge of their seats in Josh's office.

"Well, you'll never guess. I wasn't just telling Leo the whole damn story, but the President was there too." Haha. That made three jaws drop.

"No way." Looks like Sam doesn't believe me.

"Oh my god. Are you okay? What did they say?" Josh leans in and gives me a hug. Wow, I can't believe how good this makes me feel. Great, now I feel like I never want to leave his arms.

I manage to pull myself away. "They were mad. At the guy, at themselves. But Leo's not mad with you guys anymore. He said he'll handle the reporter if CJ can't. The President offered to get the bastard killed by the secret service but I declined."

 I'm rather surprised how well I'm taking all this. I thought it would feel like I have to go through everything again but I feel nothing. In a way, I feel free. I just told something I kept a secret for way too long to the President of the United States. Who else is left to tell?

"Josh, Congressman Tandy just called….Oh." Toby. He's still out of the loop. I think he should know about this too. 

"I'll come back later." Hmm…Toby not asking what he wants no matter who is in the room? Something's fishy here.

"What's going on? Why did Toby look at us that way?" 

"He overheard us talking that the person we're protecting is you. Actually he's the one who convinced me that you're strong enough to make up your mind on whether you could talk to Leo or not." Josh tells me.

"Oh. You know, I think he should know. I mean with the President and Leo knowing I'm sure Toby would realize he's the only one out of the loop. Josh, could you tell him. I would do it myself but telling the President kinda took a bit out of me." Josh just nods at me.

It's almost 10pm now and I'm yawning away. I wonder how long more Josh is going to be. He and Toby had a meeting with Congressman Tandy. I'm wondering if I should just go home. I'm more than done here. I've even planned everything for tomorrow. I'm rather efficient, if I should say so myself. I think I might leave Josh a note, I was planning to go back to my place and doing my usual cleaning up routine. This is getting annoying but else can I do? I haven't told Josh yet as I wanted to leave it to the last minute to minimize listening to his whining. The man can be such a baby sometimes. 

"Hey, Donna." 

"Oh Toby. You're back! Where's Josh?"

"He got a page from Simon Williams. He wanted me to tell you to go home first, he'll be there soon." Well I guess I will just have to leave him a note now, wouldn't I?

"Alright. I should get going. You going home now too?" Toby doesn't say anything. Did he not hear me or something?

"Donna, Josh told me about what happened. He told me everything." Oh. 

"Oh. I'm sorry you didn't know it sooner. I wasn't keeping from you specifically or anything." What a lame excuse. 

"Don't worry Donna. I know why the others knew. I just wanted to see if I could do anything for you." I've got so many amazing people around me.

"No Toby. There's nothing left to do. We just have to wait and see how everything turns out."

"Well, vengeance is not Jewish but I would kill this guy with my own bare hands if I could. You don't deserve this Donna."

"No one does, Toby. It just happened."

"I know….it's….well…you take care of all of us Donna. Not just Josh and not just after Rosslyn. You keep us on track of what is truly important on a daily basis. We couldn't even keep you safe from…"

"Toby, it's not your fault or anybody else's except for Aaron McCain. I'm not going accept any of you feeling guilty or blaming yourself over something you had no control on. You got that?" 

"Yeah…yeah…will you be alright going home by yourself tonight?" Toby can be such a teddy bear sometimes.

"Of course Toby. I'll be just fine. Thank you for your concern."

**********************************************************************

I walk passed Donna's desk to see it empty. I knew she was going back but I just hate leaving the office without her. I'll just grab my jacket and go home to great my Donnatella. What's this? A note from Donna. Aww…she probably wanted to tell me that she'll miss me….or not. Oh man! She's not coming home tonight. I can't take this. I need to be with her. I want to be with her. Doesn't she need to be with me as well? She did have rough day. I assumed she'd want to talk to me about it. Well, I guess laundry is something that can't wait for Donna. 

"Josh? Aren't you going home?" Huh? Oh, it's Sam. I think I've been sitting on my chair for a while now.

"Yeah, in a minute."

"Are you okay? You look like your cat just died."

"I do not have a cat nor will I ever have one. Donna's not coming over tonight. Laundry and cleaning and crap!" 

"She can't be in your place all the time Josh. Working here takes up almost all her time. She needs to get to her chores sometime or other. Even if means leaving you alone for one night, things need to be done."

"I know but…(sigh) I just can't stand not being with her. I know it sounds crazy but I hate going home without her or knowing she's not coming. I can't even fall asleep without her beside me anymore. I've been doing that for all my life and all of a sudden it is not even remotely possible anymore."

"Well, there's only one way to go about this." 

"What are you talking about?" 

"Ask her to move in with you?" What? He's nuts!

"You're crazy. Donna's gone through enough Sam. This would be so overwhelming. Plus, we haven't even….it would make her feel like I'm pushing it. She's only starting to truly get over this whole ordeal. She probably needs her space as well." I'm right about this you know. I am.

"I get what you're saying Josh. But I think we all learnt a lesson today, that Donna is an incredibly strong woman. She can handle a whole lot more than you think. Heck, I'm pretty sure she's stronger than you and me. You've got to give her some credit, Josh."

"I know. But what if she says no? I'll just screw things up for us."

"Well, how would you like going home and not having Donna there? There's going to be more days like this. It's kinda silly as well you know. Donna's paying rent just to do her laundry and clean the kitchen which she probably doesn't use anyway. Your place is big enough for the both of you." Sam is right. 

"You're right. I'll…I'll ask her." Wow, I'm going to ask Donna to move in with me. We're going to live together and my place will be our place. That is, if she says yes. So, how am I going to convince her to move in with me?

It's Wednesday today and I've finally figured out how to ask Donna to move in with me. I better have, considering I've been trying to figure it out since Monday night. Well, it's nothing overly grand but I think she may like it. I'm planning to make my bathroom all girly. Yeah, you heard me. I'm getting someone to clean up and decorate the bathroom. I've bought those bath gels, bath salts, massage oils, bath sponges and a bunch of other weird ass stuff which of course all came in a gift set that said _'soothing blends of Ylang Ylang, Lavender and Tangerine that promise to makes you feel peaceful and relaxed. Perfect for unwinding after a stressful day'._ I have no idea what the heck half of the ingredients were but I'm guessing Donna would enjoy those. I even got those fancy soaps, bathroom fitting accessories and also some decorative flowers. Being feminine is so damn tiring. How the hell do women do it all the time? 

Ah, the damn phone is ringing. "Donna, aren't you supposed to get that?" Maybe I shouldn't yell while I'm sitting in my office. My phone is still ringing. I think I should yell again. "Donna!!" 

Argh…I guess I'll just have to pick it up myself. "Josh Lyman"

"Mr. Lyman, this is Detective Riedel speaking." Oh….I hope nothing's wrong. I really, really don't need this right now.

"Oh yes detective. What can I do for you?" 

"I've got some good news for you." Oh, thank you god.

"Really?"

"Yes. McCain pleaded guilty." Yes! Oh yeah baby!!

"That's..that's so incredible!! I don't know what to say." My heart is racing so fast with excitement. I can't wait to run and tell Donna.

"There's more." Shoot. I knew it was too good to be true.

"He confessed to all his crimes. The four cases this time, the five cases five years ago in the Green Lane area and even the ones in Cincinnati where the cases were dropped."

"How in the world did that happen?" This is unbelievable.

"Well, we have some convincing people working in our team. And not to mention the added pressure from certain high ranking people in the US government that shall remain nameless." Oh shit, I can't even say which 'high ranking' person he's talking about. All of us wanted this guy to pay.

"Oh. I'm..I'm sorry."

"No, no. Don't worry about it. He deserves what he got. I wanted him to pay just as much as any of you. It's over. You can go back to your already busy lives without having this over your heads."

"Thank you very much. I'll pass the word around, don't worry about it."

"That would be very much appreciated, Mr. Lyman."

"Josh. Call me Josh."

"Will do Josh. Good bye."

Ah, I can't wait to tell Donna and the others. "Donna?!" Where the heck is she?? I'm going out to the bullpen to look for her.

I step out of my door and call out, "Donnatella Moss!!" Ok, why is everyone starring at me.

"Hold your horses, Joshua Lyman. I was in the copy room and the machine got stuck. Couldn't you wait a few minutes before deafening everyone in the bullpen?"

There she is. I just pull her into my office and shut the door. I hope I didn't grab her arm to hard. 

"This better be good Joshua. First you shout out my name to the entire bullpen, now you practically yank my arm from my body!" Oh, I guess I did grab it pretty hard. Oh well, she's not going to care after what I tell her.

"This is good. Detective Riedel just called me. McCain pleaded guilty." The look I get from her is priceless. Her jaw dropped a little and her eyes open up wide and they start to sparkle. She's speechless I can say. She's moving towards me I'm guessing to hug. The hug has to wait.

"Wait, there's more. He confessed to every crime we suspected. The four cases this time, the ones in Greenland and also the ones in Cincinnati."

"How did that…"

"Doesn't matter. It's over Donna, he's going away for a long, long time. You did it!"

"We did it Josh." 

Wow, Donna just pounced on me and is kissing me rather soundly. Mmmmm…Oh wow. I'm holding her waist and lift her slightly off the ground. We haven't kissed this way in a long time. Wow. Yes, vocab is limited as blood circulation not passing through brain right now. No!!! Donna pulls herself away from me. I try to hold on to her but she's pushing me away.

"I'm going to tell the others!! They're going to be so psyched! Tell Toby and Sam to meet at CJ's office now." She gives me a hard and quick kiss once more.

"I love you, Joshua Lyman." Damn, I didn't manage to recover from the kisses to tell her I love her back. 

TBC……… 


	20. Part 20

Part 20

This is the most amazing feeling ever. I don't know how to describe it. Josh and I just told CJ, Sam and Toby about the news. They were all so thrilled and relieved. Even Toby showed some emotion. Josh spread the news to the President and Leo. They were also overjoyed but somehow they were very confident that this is how it would turn out. A little too confident if you should ask me. 

Having said that, you might think that all I could think of is how ecstatic and utterly relieved I feel right now. But guess what, I don't. Don't get me wrong I do feel fulfilled and relieved with this outcome but that's not what I'm thinking about. I actually can't get Josh out of my mind. I know he's always on my mind but I mean I can't stop thinking about jumping him! From the time he told me the news and I launched a kiss at him. Oh how I long to have continued that kiss…….

I know I want to make love to Josh. I wasn't sure I was ready before but now I'm completely certain….but that doesn't mean the images would just go away. I'm truly hoping they would, now that I know who the man was and that he's in jail. I have been seeing my therapist once a week. She says the images could just stop or faze out slowly. She also said they could reappear from time to time even if I think they have stopped. All in all, she didn't put my mind at ease even the slightest bit.

In addition to all this, Josh has been acting rather strange since Tuesday. I feel he's been avoiding me. I'm assuming he was pissed at me for not going home with him that night. Maybe the whole leaving a note did not help either. He's such a baby. I can't afford a cleaning person like he can. The man's got to get over it. However, I hate being without him at as well. I can barely sleep. My bed is all cold and I keep reaching for him. As if I haven't been sleeping without him next to me for all my life. Sheesh…

It's Friday already and Josh is still odd. I stayed with him the past two nights but he seemed to want to go to sleep straight away. If you ask me, I think he's sexually frustrated. He has every right to be though. 

"Donna Moss. Just the person I want to see."

"Hey CJ. What's up?" I get up from my desk. 

"I believe these are for you. Jane came by to my place last night and dropped these off."

CJ hands me a bunch of letters. Letters? Why would Jane drop off letters for me?

"What are these? Letters from…..who the heck are these people? From DC, Connecticut, Ohio? What are these CJ?"

"Letters from people who are grateful towards you. The other victims. Detective Riedel had called all the other women to tell them that McCain confessed assaulting them. He also told them briefly how he had been caught. Some of them wrote letters for you and sent them to Riedel knowing that you prefer to maintain your privacy." 

I'm starring at the letters. This is kind of overwhelming. I don't even know these women.

"If you want to read it at home, that's fine. But if not, you can use my office. I'll have to go to the press room anyway. Unless you want someone to be there with you. I'll be back soon if you could wait." CJ's rambling again. She's worried about me.

"Thanks CJ. I'll use Josh's office. He's gone to the hill. I think I want to read them now." I'm too curious and leaving them would just prevent me from concentrating on my work.

"You sure you'll be okay?"

"Well, I think so. I'll just have to read them and see what happens." 

"I'll be back soon. I'll check on you once I'm back." CJ is frowning. I think her eyebrows could just knot up right now.

"Don't worry CJ. I'll be here anyway."

I finally get into Josh's office and shut the door. I should sit at his chair. It's more comfortable and I believe something like this deserves the comfy chair.

There are all together six letters. Wow, six letters in just two days time. I haven't received more than five letters in a month. I read the first few. They are all so amazing. The women are so grateful towards me and the others who helped out. If they only knew, most of the work was done by the others and not me. The letters were similar in the sense that the women all said they feel a sense of relieve and closure that they never thought was possible to attain. 

The one from Ohio was so touching and sad. She's the one who wasn't drugged but her case didn't have enough evidence to convict him. She said in the letter that she moved away from Cincinnati because her life was ruined as number of people judged her and treated her as if she was the one who committed the crime. My heart just pours for her. I can't even begin to imagine what that must be like. 

There is one letter that captured me though. It is from a lady named Marissa Matthews from Buffalo. 

_'I don't know how to thank you enough. You and your Scooby gang I hear did the most tremendously outstanding job catching the useless piece of waste. I have to say, I thought I was over the whole incident with intense therapy sessions. I really thought I was fine and it didn't affect me anymore. That was until I found out about the jerk being caught and confessing to the crimes. Of course I had a huge sense of happiness and a feeling that justice has been finally served but that would be expected. It was what I felt when I made love to my husband after the detective informed me that the guy was caught. That feeling is what was completely unexpected. I felt like I made love to my husband for the first time. Totally unrestrained, explosive and emotionally it was unbelievably gratifying. I never thought this is how it's supposed to feel like. That lowlife took that away from me for years. Now I finally got it back thanks to you. I hope you are also able to feel the freedom when making love to the one you love. Trust me, it is better than the best thing you've ever experienced. My prayers will include well wishes for you and your loved once from now on. _

_Yours gratefully,_

_Marissa Matthews.'_

This is a sign. I'm ready to make love to Josh and nothing's going to stop me. Not jitters, not his odd mood and certainly not Aaron McCain. It is my right to make love unconditionally to my man. To experience and feel what Marissa felt. It is my right.

Josh came back from the meeting about a half hour after I read the letters. I showed the letters to him and the rest of the gang as they deserve to receive them as much as I do. Well, all the letters except Marissa's one. That I'm going to keep it for myself. At least for now. They were all so touched and pleased by reading those letters just as I was and they fully deserve to feel this way.

Now, I'm trying to think of a way to ask Josh to let me take a slightly longer lunch so I get take a trip to Victoria Secret. 

"Josh, I'm going out for lunch. Will be back by 2.30. I'll have my cell on." 

"2.30?" Crap, he caught it. I honestly thought I could slip it in while he's reading the agriculture memo.

"Yeah, I need to get some stuff done." Don't ask…don't ask…

"Alright. Make sure your cell is on." Huh? I told you his behaviour was odd the past few days. Maybe I can cheer him up tonight. Joshua Lyman, just wait and see what I'll have in store for you baby.  
  


************************************************************************

Donna has gone out for lunch. I wonder what she has to do. I didn't ask because I've been trying not to look her into the eyes much the past few days. She can read me like a book and I don't want her guessing what I'm scheming. I'm going to ask her to move in with me tonight. The bathroom will be all set up by then.

I think receiving those letters did make a huge difference to Donna and the rest of us. The thought of being able to help someone in such a way has brought such satisfaction to all of us. All the hassle and grueling times has been completely paid off now. It was all so worth it. 

I've been watching Donna from my office all day long. I could swear she's been glowing since she came back from lunch. She's been in a great mood as well. I guess it should be because of the letters. 

"Hey, Josh. Mind if I take off a little early today? I've finished the files you needed for today and made your appointments tomorrow. All you have left is to read through these reports. I don't think you'll be needing me. So can I go?" I look at the time. It's half past nine. Why does she need to leave now? Isn't she coming home with me?

"Why? Aren't you coming home with me? If you'll give me about a half hour, we'll go home together." 

"Well, Kimmy just called me and she wanted to have dinner with me tonight. We have barely talked to each other for so long and I really should tell her about what's been going on all this while. She had been there for me from the beginning. And I figured it would probably take some time so I'll just stay at my place tonight." No..No….I was going to ask you to move in with me. It would have been perfect. I don't want to wait any longer. I don't want any more days like this where you have to spend the night at your place.

"Does it have to be tonight? Can't Kimmy wait a day or two?" Great going Lyman. Now she's going to think you're an arrogant self-centered bastard. Which I kind of am.

"Josh, I already promised her. I knew what I needed to do today and I finished it. I don't think there's anything important that's left for me to do tonight. Look, I promise I'll come to your place first thing in the morning. We'll have breakfast together." It won't be the same! I have to ask you tonight! 

"Oh, alright." How could I resist that puppy dog look with that pout and those wide opened eyes?

"Great, you're the best." Donna gives me a quick hug and peck on the lips. 

I've been moping around the office since Donna left. It's 11pm now. I really should go home considering I've had nothing to do for the past half hour. 

I'm in my car on the way home and wondering if this was a sign not to ask Donna to move in with me. She could have had to meet Kimmy any other night and it happened to be tonight? I sure hope this isn't a sign. 

Is that music coming from my apartment? Did I leave the stereo on? Well I was in a rush this morning but I doubt I turned on the radio at that time. What's that aroma? What the….There are candle everywhere!! Uncountable candles…..What the heck?! 

"I was beginning to think you were not coming home at all." Oh….sweet…lord…..

Have I died and gone to heaven? Donna's standing at my bedroom door frame. She's leaning against it with one hand on her hip and another stretched out on the frame. I cannot believe my eyes!! She's wearing a little red lingerie. It is sheer and has flower laces embroidered on it. Wow…the neck is really low and the sides have high slits on them. I think my heart just stopped. This is how it feels when your heart stops. She's walking towards me. I think I stopped breathing as well. I technically should be dead right now but I'm more alive now than ever. I can see a red thong underneath the top. 

Oh I can smell her now. She smells like roses and citrus. I feel everything is happening in slow motion. She's placing her hand on my tie and loosens it. 

"Joshua, aren't you going to greet me at all?" She's kissing my neck. No, she's sucking it. Oh….I just manage to let out a moan. 

"I expected something more from a 760 verbal scorer." Oh, why does she have to sound so seductive. 

"Donna…" 

"Yes Josh?" Ah, she's nibbling my ear! How could I possible construct a sentence?

Wait, come back to reality Josh. Is she ready for this? Is she just doing this coz she thinks this is what I want? Is this why she thinks I've been avoiding her?

"Donna, wait." I push her away form me by placing my arms on her shoulders. 

"Yeah?" Her look just kills me. She looks so disappointed. 

"Are you…are you sure? Do you really want this?" 

"I've never been more sure about anything in my life Josh. I love you more than I thought I could love anyone. This is what I want. What about you? Do you what this?" Do I want this? Has she lost every brain cell? Of course I do!!!!!!! I've been waiting for this for god knows how long….And I'm not talking about since we started dating or since I realized my feelings for her. I'm talking about since I first laid eyes on her.

"Are you kidding me?" Her lips break into a smile. Wow…She's the most gorgeous creature I've seen in my entire life. And she's all mine. How in the world did that happen I will never ever know?

"But what about the image…" She places a finger on my lips.

"Don't talk about that. I'll be fine." She's leaning to reach my lips with hers. Ah, I hate to do this but I have to.

"You stop me at anytime if you…….."

"Shh….I said don't talk about it. Now, are you going to listen to me or not?"

"Yes maam."

************************************************************************

"Wow."

"I'll say."

"That was…."

"Explosive."

"Yeah."

"Astounding"

"Yeah."

"Mind-blowing"

"Yeah."

"Breathtaking"

"Uh huh."

"And I thought you were the one who got the 760 verbal." 

We've been laying naked in each others arms for a while. Both trying to get back into our normal breathing pattern.

"Donnatella Moss, you have officially made me the luckiest, happiest man in the whole wide world. I'm going to look at every guy from now on and feel pity for them, knowing that I have you and they don't." Ah, that's quiet impressive. 

"That's better."

"Donna I've slept with other woman before. Lots of times." Ok, not so impressive anymore.

"Are you going anywhere with this?" He better be.

"I mean I've had sex so many times but I truly believe this is the very first time I've ever made love to anyone. And I'm thrilled it's with you." Aw…..how sweet. 

We definitely made love tonight. More than once I must add. Josh took it really slow the first time. That is of course once he got his motor function running again after being initially stunned by my little red number. 

He was so loving and tender. Best of all, he definitely tended to my needs which is a first for me. He explored my body as I did his. I can't believe I've been missing this until now. 

Not for one second did I get any glimpse of those images. Josh kept looking into my eyes to make sure I was okay. He was so sweet. 

"I've got a present for you." He pulls his arms away from me leaving me cold. He puts on his boxers and is heading for his jacket near the door. 

"What? A present for me? Why? Did you know this was going to happen?" He couldn't possibly.

"Trust me when I say a big NO to that. I've been waiting to give you this for some time. I decided on tonight. Which is why I was really upset when you said you wanted to have dinner with Kimmy." 

"Oh, yeah. I lied about that. Sorry."

"You were very convincing by the way." Josh is holding a silver present box in his hand. It had a gold ribbon on it. It was small and rectangular. He hands it to me.

"Open it." I smile at him with my eyebrows slightly raised. I open it.

"It's a key." A key?

"Yes, it's a key to my apartment." Well, duh…I have a copy of it.

"I already have it Josh. I've had it since before we were dating." Did he forget that or something?

"Come on, follow me." He's dragging my off the bed. Woah, I almost lost my balance there. I wrapped the bed sheet around myself with one hand as he pulls my other. 

"Where are we going? The bathroom?" Has he lost his mind?

"Open it." Okay…..This is a first. I've never drove a man to insanity by sleeping with him.

"Just open it, will ya." I do as he tells.

"What in the world?" The bathroom is all redecorated. Flowers and all…It smells so good. 

"Go look inside." I walk in to see this whole lot of bath beads, salts, gels. There are unlit candles placed around the bath tub. There are all these fancy soaps, bubble bath and bath oils near the bath tub and next to the sink.  They were arranged in decorative wooden baskets. Why did he get all these stuff?

"Did you get all these? Are you getting in touch with your feminine side? Is this a phase you're going through?" He laughs at me. It's a genuine question. Why is he laughing?

"Donnatella Moss, do I have to spell it out for you? I want you to move in with me. I did this to make you feel more comfortable in my bachelor pad. We could redecorate anything else in this apartment however you want. I want you to live with me. I just can't stand spending another night without you. I don't want you to pay rent for a place you hardly use ever. I want this to be our place." 

Oh. That's what this is about. I should have guessed. This place does look amazing. It is silly for me to pay rent in my place like he said.  Like him, I also don't want to spend my nights alone anymore. 

"Say something." Aww…look at him all jittery. I can't believe he's so nervous. That's so cute.

"Well, you did go through a whole lot of trouble for this." I tease as I look around the bathroom. I turn back towards him and smile.

"Really?" He starts to grin and I can see his lovely dimples. How could anyone not fall for those dimples?

"Yeah, I'd love to live to you Josh." He grabs me and kisses me soundly on the lips.

"I love you so much, Donnatella. I know I'm a difficult guy and I can be rather unbearable sometimes. So living with me ain't going to be easy task but I promise I'll give you as much space as you need, whenever you need it." 

"Don't worry Josh, if I couldn't handle you I would have quit my job years ago. I didn't. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. I love you and your unbearable self."   
  


TBC……want to see Donna's red number? Go to :

However, you need to sign into Yahoo and the join the JoshDonnaFF  Yahoo group. It wouldn't take long. If you're having any problems, e-mail me and I'll send you the photo if you want. Also, just look at the photo titled "Donna's red lingerie"….Don't bother to look at the other photos now. You need to read the next parts of this story before looking at them. I'll let you know. 

  
  



	21. Part 21

Part 21

I'm a happy and content man. Life cannot get any better. Donna moved in over the weekend. She didn't have much stuff as her apartment was fully furnished, so I just rented a van for the day. Kimmy was fine with the moving as she was planning to live  with her boyfriend as well. She actually didn't want to move into her boyfriend's place as it was too small. So her boyfriend decided to move in with her, therefore Donna doesn't need to pay rent anymore. Kimmy and her boyfriend wanted the extra bedroom anyway. So basically everything turned out fine so we decided that Donna should move out right away. Which is of course more than fine with me. 

We haven't told anyone else about our current living situation mainly because it all happened rather quick. So I'm in the oval office right now for senior staff on this Monday morning, and I just can't stop grinning. I think it's because of another incredibly amazing love making session last night. I'm trying hard to wipe the grin off my face but it seems impossible. I really hope I'm not projecting that I'm a man who got laid last night. 

"Okay. That's all for today. So if Josh would tell us why he's grinning like a fool, you all can go." Ooops. The President noticed it. I didn't think he would. What do I say? What the heck do I say?

"Sorry Sir."

"Don't apologize. It's nice to know someone's putting on big smile around here. I don't get to see this often. So if you'd share your newfound blissfulness to the class, we would very much appreciate it."

I think he knows I got laid. I think he knows I had rounds of raunchy love making. Say something you nincompoop!

"Donna moved in with me." Well, I had to say something. The President  definitely wouldn't let it go.

"Oh, that's great!!" I turn to see Sam beaming away.

"That's wonderful Josh." CJ says. Toby and Leo were smiling as well and gave me a little nod. 

"All right then. You all can leave." All of us thanked the President and start leaving.

"Josh, could you stay back a while." 

"Sure Mr. President."

"So, you're committing the sin of living together, eh?" Maybe the raunchy love making session would have been the way to go. 

"Ummm….well.." Aaaaaah!!!

"Don't worry Josh. I'm not going to impose my values on anyone else. It's my values, not yours." Was that a trick? Is he trying to make me feel immoral? What is he trying to pull?

"Okay sir." Well, what else can I say?

"But I was just wondering, just out of curiosity, why live together when you can get married?" WHAT?!

"Sir, if this looks bad to the administration, I assure you….."

"No, no. This has nothing to do with that, believe me. I was just thinking what an incredibly meant to be couple you two are. I mean you've been in love with her for years."

"Sir, we've only been dating for a few months and some of them have been pretty rough for both of us. It's best if we take things slow."

"Slow? You maybe dating her for a short while but we both know how long you two have loved each other. You spend practically every second together since Donna started working for you. I bet you have spent more time together than any other regular married couple. If you two haven't drove each other crazy by now, you never will. Of course when I say 'crazy' I mean it in the bad way. Josh, do you see yourself with anyone else in your lifetime?"

"No!" Of course not! Is he kidding?

"Do you wish to spend every waking hour with her?" I look down and whisper a yes.

I start studying the floor . "Do you see your unborn children in her eyes?" I snap my head and look directly at him.

"Quoting Bryan Adams, Mr. President?" 

"I'm just saying do you really just want to move in with her. Think about it Josh and be true to yourself. Will you do that for me?" I nodded at him.

"Is that all Mr. President?" 

"Yes. You can go now."

"Thank you sir." 

He doesn't know what he's talking about. Sure he's the President and all but that doesn't mean he's an expert in relationships. Especially not Donna's and mine. We've been through a whole lot more than he can imagine. 

"So, are you going to ask her?"

"What?" It's Charlie at his desk.

"Ask Donna to marry you."

"Don't you have anything else to do but eavesdrop?" I can't believe he heard that!! He's so not letting this go.

"Well, the door was open and I thought the meeting was over. I wanted to pass him a report. It was all really innocent."

"Oh, I'm sure it was. Listen, please don't mention this to anyone else."

"Okay, don't worry about it." Thank god.

"Great then." 

"So how about it?"

"Could we also not talk about this?"

"Well, no. When are you going to ask her?" 

"Charlie!! Don't you have something to give the President?" 

"Alright. But just an input, women like their proposals big." What?

"Big?"

"You know, huge and creative. Like using sky writings or neon lights on billboards. Something they can't possibly say no to. Also, they like something not done before unlike sky writings and billboards." Huh.

"Okay, I'm leaving now."

"You'll let me know how you're going to propose before you do it right? I don't want you ruining it for Donna." Oh, he's so smug. Like I can't pull of a hugely creative one of a kind proposal. My proposal is going to be in the world's greatest proposals. Okay, did I say 'my proposal is going to be' ?

"I'm leaving." Ah, why did the President have to bring this up? I've been having one of the best days. Carefree with a perfect life. Now he's making me think. Just as everything is settling down and Donna and I were going to start this new life together. 

And what's with the whole 'do you see your unborn children in her eyes'. How lame is that? I mean I guess I can imagine our kids….. My daughter would be a little Donna. Blond and big sparkly blue eyes. Oh, she would get away with anything with that pout and that puppy dog look. Maybe she'll have a little of me as well. She'd be the smartest in her class. Way more advanced that other kids. She's going to go to Harvard or Yale and graduate at the top of her class. She's going to make a huge difference in this country and the world. A whole lot more than I ever could.

"Josh? Are you with me?" Huh? I'm at my office. When did I get to my office? Donna's standing at my door. I could never get over how beautiful she looks, how she always manages to take my breath away, how she makes me know for certain that she is the only one for me. 

"Oh, sorry. What were you saying?" 

"What's the matter? Is everything alright? Did something happen in senior staff?"

Yes Donna, something did happen in there. I just realized I'm going to take the biggest leap of my life. 

"Nah, nothing much. Leo said we'll have to hand in the farming bill earlier. So, could you make an appointment with John Whitman's senior staff as soon as possible?" Hey, I did manage to listen to something during the meeting. 

"Sure. Anything else?"

"No. That's all." I'm going to ask Donna to marry me. I'm going to ask her to be my bride and spend our lives together for eternity! Now, all I have to do is cook up the most outstanding proposal so Donna will have no choice but to say yes. It all should take two to three days tops.

Alright, it's been a week and I've got zilch, nil, nada, zip, NOTHING!!! I was sure it would take about three days. Boy, was I wrong.

However, I did come to a conclusion. I need help. As Charlie is the only person who has any clue about the possibility of me proposing to Donna, I think I'm going to ask him. Plus, he is the one who told me that the proposal should be extraordinary. Which is why, I'm hanging around outside the Oval Office waiting for Charlie. 

"Hey Charlie, how's it going man?" I think he suspects something. He's looking at me with his eyebrows crunched up.

"It's going okay." 

"Do you have a few minutes?" 

"Yes, what can I do for you?"

"Come, take a walk with me." I nod my head towards the corridor and start walking. Charlie follows me.

"Okay, remember few days ago you said a marriage proposal should be huge and unique?" He breaks into a big grin. An annoying grin I should add. 

"So, you're going to ask Donna?"

"I didn't say that. I was just pondering something." Way to go Josh. He'll believe you.

"Sure. Well, hypothetically, assuming you are going to ask her, I just want you to know how happy I would be." I smile at him. I guess he's not such an annoying guy after all.

"I just wanted to ask you some possible ideas."

"What ideas?"

"Those great proposals that have to be done?" 

"You want ideas on how to propose?" I nodded at him.

"Well, I don't know any." He says.  

"What, come on! I've been racking my brain for a whole damn week because of what you said and now you're telling me you have nothing?!" Okay, I should try to lower the sound of my voice.

"Yeah. It's not like I spend my days thinking about marriage proposals, Josh." Argh…. Alright, I should calm down.

"I know…I just…You've got to give me something Charlie."

"I wish I could help. Look, the only thing I can say is that you have to show her you mean it. Show her you want to truly be married to her and spend your whole life together so she knows this is not a phase or something out of the blue or spur the moment. A marriage is the most sacred thing, Josh." Wow, Charlie is pretty profound for his young age. 

"Yeah, I know. Thanks you."

"Sure…I'm going to go see the President now. And don't worry, this conversation will stay between us." I give him a grateful smile.

He turns away and start leaving. "Any tiny suggestion at all? Throw me a bone here." I had to ask.

"I don't know Josh. Buy her a big house or something. I got to go." Charlie is rather useless for a pretty profound guy.

I should have made him stay and give me suggestions…brainstorm with me. If it wasn't for him I would not even be in this mess. I think I could come up with a peace resolution in the middle-east faster than I could with a proposal. Couldn't Charlie come up with anything besides the 'buy her a house' thing. How dumb is that? I couldn't buy her a house. I mean I could. I do have to the money. But….Hmm…..That's it!!! Charlie's brilliant!! He said I should show her that I'm truly serious about marriage and marrying her. What better way than to buy a big house that we're going to spend our lives together? I'm so going to be 'da man.

It turned out I needed some help with looking for suitable homes in DC. I definitely don't have the time and I would have to make calls from the office which would make Donna suspicious. So I turned to my mom. She was ecstatic with the news. I actually think she likes Donna better than me. I haven't heard her being so happy for so many years. It was just so heartwarming to hear her this way. Anyway, my mom has a real estate friend who has contacts in DC. I told my mom which areas and price range I wanted the house to be. She was also very pleased that I was willing to spend a huge amount on the house. It's really not a big deal as I'm not spending a cent from what I've earned. My mom gave me more than half the money she got from selling our house in Connecticut. I declined it but she refused saying that she's not going to use the money and she wanted me to get a house one day. It was her way to guilt me into having a family soon and giving her grandchildren. I took it to make her happy. The rest of the money is from what I inherited from my dad and grandfather. Being the only son and grandson, I can now buy a very impressive house and send at least three kids to private schools and ivy league colleges. This all is possible even without touching the savings from my own earnings. I guess I haven't touched the money as I've never had the time or reason to. 

It has been more than a week since I asked for help from my mom and the real estate agent finally had contacted me. She gave me about seven suitable houses that are available. I don't want to get just a nice big house, but I want the one Donna falls in love with. Which is why I need another accomplice. Yes, I have come to terms with the fact that I can't handle everything by myself. As Charlie wouldn't normally be a person whose looking for a big house, I needed to get someone else. I chose CJ. I haven't talked to her yet, but I worked out how everything's going to work. She's just going to have to agree to it.

"CJ Cregg." I decide to call her on the phone mainly so that I don't have to physically get off my seat and walk to the next room.

"It's me." 

"Josh? Aren't you in your office?" 

"Yeah."

"And you're calling me on your phone?"

"Yeah."

"Okay, to what do I owe this pleasure to?" I think she's being snarky.

"Could I have lunch with you today?" 

"Why?" Women, they always have to be suspicious of everything.

"Just because. Look I need to talk to you about something personal, not work related." 

"Oh, alright. I guess I could make it today."

"Okay great. Oh, one more thing. Don't tell Donna about it."

"Josh, what did you do?" Why does she always assume I did something bad?!

"Nothing!!

"Well, don't make me betray the sisterhood coz I'm not gonna." Again with the sisterhood!

"No, never." I say in an overly serious voice. "Just don't say anything alright, I promise it doesn't require betraying the sisterhood. I'll explain everything during lunch alright?"

"Fine. Where are we going?"

"Um, my office?" I wasn't planning to go anywhere else. I told Donna I'm working through lunch so she's going out with the other assistants. 

"Oh Josh, you've swept me off my feet. Chicken and mayo with a can of Dr. Pepper." 

"Well, could you ask Carol to order your food? Like I said I don't want Donna to know about it."

"Why don't you order it yourself instead of asking Donna?"

"I'm a busy man, CJ. I don't have time to order lunch…especially someone else's" Okay, maybe that was a little much.

"I pity the fool who's gonna marry you. I'll come over with my food at one." 

Urgh…I'm getting sick to my stomach. Did she have to say that? Would Donna would be a fool to marry me? I should better talk to CJ before over analyzing this. It would only drive be insane and I can't afford that especially since I have a meeting with a room full of senators at the hill in fifteen minutes. 

I'm back from my meeting and Donna's not at her desk anymore. Perfect, she's gone for lunch. Oh, even more perfect, CJ's sitting in my office eating her lunch. Or more like my lunch as well.

"Hey, that's my fries you're picking on!" I shut the door behind me as I head towards my fries. 

"Oh, get over it. What do you want to talk about?"

"Come on Ceej… No hello? How are you?" That just earned me a scary stare from CJ. 

"Okay…moving on….Ummm..well….umm." How do I say this?

"Oh, just spill it Josh."

"I'm gonna ask Donna to marry me." Cool, that's just about right. 

CJ stopped eating. Her mouth is open and her hand is stuck in place on the way to her mouth with a fry. 

"Wha…Oh my god…This is…This is sooo great!!!" She's getting out of her chair and heads towards me. 

"I'm so happy! I don't know what to say!" She gives me a big tight hug.

"So, you mean Donna wouldn't be a fool to marry me?"

"What? What are you talking about?" She lets go of me and looks at me.

"Earlier on the phone, you said you'd pity the fool who marries me."

"You idiot!" Ouch, she smacks my head. Note to self, always retain an arms length parameter from CJ Cregg.

"I was kidding."

"Oh, good. Anyway, that's not all. I haven't told anyone about this except my mom from whom I needed some help from and Charlie who well, sort of started me thinking of the marriage thing. Well, technically it's the President who made me start thinking about marriage but he's got no idea that I'm actually going to do it."

"What? I'm lost, how did Charlie and the President make you decide on marriage?"

"Long story and it doesn't really matter anymore. The point it, I wanted to give Donna the most extraordinary proposal and after cracking my head long and hard, I decided I'm going to buy Donna her dream house and propose to her in there. Of course this would all be a complete surprise to her." CJ's got a weird look in her eyes. Are they watery?

"Josh Lyman you are such a romantic. Who would've thought? You can be really sweet sometimes, you know?" Indeed I do know that. Josh Lyman gives the world's greatest proposal.

"Anyway, I asked my mom for help coz she knows this real estate agent and I really don't have the time to look for houses. So basically, the real estate agent just contacted me and found seven houses that fulfilled the criteria I wanted." 

"Oh, that's great. Do you want me to come look at them with you?"

"Here's the thing, I want this to be a complete surprise to Donna. And I can't expect her to just like the house I pick because lets face it, I probably don't have the best taste. I want her to pick the house without knowing it."

"And how do you plan to accomplish that?" 

"This is where you come is. If you could tell her you're helping your brother pick a house and you want her opinion. See what she thinks about them." 

"Why would I be helping my brother pick a house?"

"Because he's a busy man and is away on business now."

"Okay, what about his wife? Wouldn't she be more likely to go house hunting?" I anticipated all CJ's questions. She's so predictable and I'm a man who's the king of strategizing. 

"She's recovering from a broken leg and bruised hip." Aren't I brilliant?

"Okaaay…Why is it so important that they find a house at this very moment? Why can't they put it off?" Again, predictable.

"The house they had picked had fell through at the last minute and their lease in their current home is up. Say you're not making the final decision, just narrowing down to about three houses."

"You do think of everything don't you?" I smile back at CJ.

"Yes, I am 'da man."

"That you are. So, don't you care how the house is? Don't you wanna have a say in it? You just want to leave the decision to Donna?"

"CJ, I got it narrowed to seven houses. I did have a say in it. But more than anything, I want Donna to fall in love with the house. Not just think it's a lovely house. I know for sure if she loves it, I would too. I just want her to be blown away. I want to make her as happy as she has made me since the day she walked into my life." CJ's getting watery eyes again.

"Oh Josh. I'll do this for you and Donna. I'll make sure I read her well. It may take a while to get through all the houses, considering my schedule and all." Yes!!! Mission accomplished.

"That's no problem. The real estate agent, Tina Jones, she knows about the whole plan. She's willing to work outside the hours of her regular working days. I'll have her call you."

"Alrighty then. It's all set. I better get back to my office." She clears the package from lunch and gets up.

"Thank you CJ, you don't know how much this means to me. I owe you big."

"Just treat her right and we'll be even." 

"I will…oh, and don't mention this to anyone." 

"Sure." 

TBC…. 


	22. Part 22

Part 22

"Hiya, Donna. How are you?"

"Oh, hey CJ." CJ seems to be in a good mood.

"Do you have a moment? Could you come into my office with me?" Oh, I wonder what this is about.

"Sure." We walk together into her office and I sit on her couch.

"Donna, I need a favor from you. It's kinda a big one and it may take up some time so you don't have to say yes." Is she kidding me? The amount of time and energy she has put in for me, I owe her a hand and a foot.

"CJ, don't be silly. Ask me anything."

"Great…..You see, my brother was planning to buy a new house and he filled in the paperwork and stuff but it suddenly fell through for some stupid reason…anyway, they're lease in their current home is ending real soon and they need to get a new house by then. The thing is my brother has narrowed down to seven houses but he has to go on a business trip to Oregon and my sister-in-law broke her leg…"

"Oh no, is she okay?"

"Oh yes. She's fine. Just recovering at home. Anyway, he asked me to look at the houses and pick maybe two homes that I feel is suitable and the best for them. I was wondering if you could come with me to look at the houses." 

"That's it? Is that all? Of course I'll come with you. It'll be fun." Yeah, house hunting could be fun especially when you aren't the one who's gonna buy it. No pressure.

"Great..but what about Josh? You guys just moved in together and he'll probably want to spend every possible second with you after work."

"Well, he's just gonna have to deal with it, won't he?"

"Super, so can you take a long lunch on Friday? I've got an appointment with the real estate person."

"Sure. I hope Josh won't be a pest about it though."

"Don't worry, I'll make sure he'll let you go." Oh, Josh is going to be in big trouble if he makes a fuss about this. That could be fun to watch. 

I should probably ask him soon about lunch on Friday then he can't give me some last minute excuse for me not to go. Ah, speaking of the devil, Josh is back.

"Hi Joshua, did you miss me?" He's sitting at his desk writing something down.

"Donna, where were you? I came back from my meeting and you weren't at your desk!" See, I'm not exaggerating when I say he's a baby.

"Relax Josh, I wasn't off gallivanting in some gangster-like neighborhood. I was just talking to CJ at her office." I continued telling him about CJ's brother's situation.

"So, can I have a slightly longer lunch on Friday?" Don't make a big deal out of this!

"Oh, sure. No problem, just don't forget to come back here after lunch." Huh, that was easy. Is he going soft on me? Nah, I think he's just afraid of CJ that's all.

"You ready CJ?" It's Friday 1pm already. Josh actually remembered I told him I'm taking a long lunch which is a first I assure you. I'm actually looking forward to this. 

We met up with Tina Jones about a block away from the house we are going to see. Tina looks like she's approaching fifty and seems like a really nice and warm person.

"Come on in." The house looks beautiful from outside. Really big as well. 

"Woah!" What a beautiful place!

"Holy cow." CJ says.

"I didn't know your brother's living large!"

"Neither did I." What? 

"I mean he is a private attorney. He does make a lot. It's just that this is much larger that his current house, that's all." CJ's sounding odd. I hope she's not upset over this. You know, her brother having the big family and the big house with a great career. 

"This home's stone-and-cedar shingle facade is delightfully complemented by French Country detailing, dormer windows, and shutters at the large arched window." Tina explains as we walk into the house. 

The entry door is see through and has sidelights. The foyer was just magnificent as it was  domed shaped.  We continued touring the home and CJ and I are in awe.

"This is the formal dining room, with built-ins, which opens through French doors, flank the foyer." 

"Wow, these French doors are beautiful." They were wooden-made and had a modern look to them.

"I'll say." CJ answers me.

"Moving on, the living room has a fireplace and double doors to the backyard……The kitchen have corner windows overlooking the back yard."

"Oh that's very nice." CJ responds to viewing the kitchen. Like the living room, the kitchen also had a vaulted ceiling.

"We have here a service hall, with a laundry alcove that opens to the garage. There is space enough here for two or three cars. The master suite is on the main level while other bedrooms are upstairs." We head up the staircase. This is such an impressive house.

"The master bath is well designed with a Palladian window. You can see the spa tub here." We enter the master suite and boy oh boy, is it big or what!!

We continue walking upstairs. "Family bedrooms share a hall bath. This huge extra space could be used for a future bedroom, games room, or home office." 

"Oh, those huge windows are lovely." I say causing CJ to look at me. I look at her back.

"Oh yeah! I see what you're talking about. Beautiful." CJ says as she quickly turns her head towards the windows. Strange. 

We continue looking around awhile and made an appointment with Tina for tomorrow morning. We'll be looking at two houses tomorrow before going to the office. 

"So, did you like the house?"

"Oh yes, sure. Your brother has great taste."

"Yeah, I never knew that. Could you see yourself living in this kind of house?" Hmm…that's something to ponder about.

"Well, I don't know. Possibly if I had a big family and you know, a huge bank account." CJ laughs.

"Yeah. I thought it was too spacious though, not cozy enough. What do you think?" 

"You're right. Plus it's a little too modern I feel. I mean, your brother might like that though."

"Ah, who cares about him, he's giving me such a huge responsibility and not to mention, added burden to my hefty schedule, I'm gonna pick a house I fall in love with." Falling in love with a house. Hmm, I wonder what that feels like.

"I hear you sister!" 

"Or of course if I can't decide on something, you can even make the choice." Ooo, that'll be very cool as well.

"Great!! I'm going to look forward to that." This is going to be more fun than expected. 

************************************************************************

"Donna!!! Come to bed!!" She's been in the shower for ages! What the heck do women do in there? I mean turn on the shower, scrub with soap, wash off. Why does that take so long?

"I'm coming, keep your pants on!" I think otherwise. 

"I'm here. Are you happy now?" I grin at her super serious face. She slowly breaks into a smile. Ah, perfection.

"So, did you have fun today with CJ?" I haven't spoken to CJ about how today went.

"Yeah, the house was huge and very nice. I didn't know CJ's brother is so well-to-do and for the looks of it CJ didn't know it as well." Yikes, I should have told CJ about the houses. Now Donna thinks CJ doesn't know her brother well enough to know how much he makes but her brother can ask her to pick a house for him and his family. I hope Donna doesn't read too much into this.

"Wow, cool." I shouldn't show too much interest in this, she might get suspicious.

"Oh, also, can I come in later tomorrow. It's Saturday and CJ wants to look at two houses. I will come back by noon. I'll have lunch when I'm out so it won't take up more time from work. Is that okay?" Look at her, she looks like a little girl pleading to go out and play. If she only knew. 

"Alright, I guess that wouldn't do too much damage to my career." She looks at me kind of oddly. Did she expect me to say no? Why would she? I'm a reasonable man. 

"Okay, thanks. So, what do you wanna do now?" Oooh….She runs a finger down my whole arm and is leaning towards me. Oh, not the ear! She's nibbling on my ear which I'm sure she's figured out is my weak spot. I'm amazed how quick she found out about that. What is she doing to me?!!

"Donna!" I slowly nudge her away from me. I'm going to find her weak spot now, if it kills me!

"Let ME have some fun, will ya?" I start exploring her body. This is going to be an enjoyable night. 

************************************************************************

"Okay, this home has European roots. It presents a fine face, with stone foundation accents and keystone arches over the windows and a lower-level entry door."

I'm standing outside another big beautiful house with CJ and Tina.

"Are all the houses fully furnished?" I'm surprised this house is furnished just like the one before. 

"No, just about four of them on the list. The rest are partially furnished." Tina explains.

"Does your brother prefer it to be completely furnished?" CJ looks at me. Is she thinking about it? Have she and her brother not talked about the houses at all?

"Oh, well he's a busy man and I guess he wouldn't have chosen fully furnished houses if he didn't want it."

"But what about all the stuff in their current home?" CJ's giving me the same look again. 

"I guess they would bring some and leave the rest. Also, their current house is partially furnished so they wouldn't have much stuff anyway." Oh, that makes sense.

We walk through the house. It is just as big as the previous one. 

"The floor plan is open and allows for a formal dining room, a two-story living room and a luxurious kitchen.  As you can see, the kitchen leads to the covered porch through these large doors and is adjacent to the stairs leading to the upper level."

"Oh, the kitchen is glorious." CJ's obviously taken by the kitchen. It has beautiful oak cabinets and a huge counter that was curve shaped. 

"It is extraordinary." However, I think it's a little too big for me. I think a kitchen should be more cozy and homely. 

"The living room is rather elegant I'm sure you'll agree." Tina was right. It was very elegant with rose wood furniture and maroon couched with a very nice fire place. 

"There's a private den is over there and has the use of a half-bath, which is right across from a coat closet. It includes a walk-in pantry, a built-in desk, a corner fireplace and an art niche." We walk into the den. Wow, what a work of art just for a den.

"Does your brother need a den?" I ask CJ.

"Probably not. What do you think? Would it be useful? Do you prefer having a den?"

"Well, probably not. It'll just separate a family unit unless they have guests often and for long periods or are planning to rent it out."

"I don't think so."

There were two bedrooms on the main level which includes a master suite. We moved on to the upper level that holds two additional bedrooms, sharing a full bath, and also a games room. 

"So that's it here. Let's go on to the next house shall we?" CJ and I head to CJ's car while Tina goes to hers.

"So, what do you think?"

"It was nice. A little too much space in some places I feel. I preferred the previous house. What did you think?"

"Oh, same as you." Oh, I would have thought CJ preferred this house. 

We entered the third house which again was like the others, nice and big.

"This beautiful Craftsman style home has features showing sophistication."

"Oh, the porch is lovely." I say.

"Yes, it frames the entry and adds charm to the house…….You can see here that the vaulted dining room flank the two-story foyer creating more formal, secluded spaces in the front of the home."

"Here you can see a wall of windows in the living room and a large bay off of the nook giving it a bright, open atmosphere." She's right about that, it is very bright over here.

We then went to the bedrooms and baths. There were also a study and a games room in this house. 

"Well, that's it for today. I'm actually going to be busy early this week and I have to go to New York after that. I'll be back on Friday though. I don't mind a late evening appointment on Friday if that's okay with you. I know how busy your schedule is."

"Oh, Friday evening should be fine unless there's a national emergency." CJ says the senior staff's most common line. 

We made the appointment at 7pm Friday and CJ and I decided to head out to get a quick bite to eat. We ended up at a sandwich place nearby.

"Did you like this house?" CJ asks me as she takes a bite out of the sandwich. 

"Yeah, it was really nice." 

"Did you feel anything when you saw it?" What?

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know…did you feel warm and fuzzy inside when you saw it?" 

"Umm…I didn't really think about it…why?" 

"Oh, I'm sure my brother would like a warm, cozy house suitable for a loving family. I'm trying to get a feel from these houses, coz they all look great it's hard to pick. I'm sure the other houses would be just as great and I'll have to go with my gut feeling." She's right, there's no other way considering the homes don't have any obvious faults with them.

"Yeah, I agree with you. Well, I guess I was kinda excited with the first house compared to the ones today. I felt the last one was a little bare. But then again, I may have really liked the first house mainly due to being surprised with it. " Well, like CJ said, it's hard to choose as they all look great. 

"Yeah. Okay, back to work." We went back to CJ's car. It's almost noon already.

"I hope Josh won't be mad. I know you said you'll be back by noon. We might be about fifteen minutes late."

"That's alright. He seemed quiet undisturbed by me going house hunting with you. I thought he'll fuss about leaving him alone for longer than a half hour. He surprisingly didn't have a problem with it at all. Not even a whine which is so unlike him."

"Huh….that's odd. Why don't we just except it and count our blessings?" Hallelujah to that!

"Good idea."

************************************************************************

"Hey, buddy. Where are you planning to dig out all the cash from?" 

"What?" I look up from the report I was reading.

"Why didn't you tell me how grand the houses were going to be? Donna thinks I know nothing about my brother by now." And I thought CJ was going to let this go.

"I guess I forgot. Sorry." 

"So, where are you going to get the money?"

"I inherited it from my dad and grandfather plus about half of what my mom got when she sold our house in Connecticut." 

"Wow, you lucky ol' fool. Why can't I get that lucky?" 

"Do you really want me to answer that?" I snicker at her, irritating her as usual. 

"Anyway, I don't think Donna found her house yet. She liked them all and was really impressed but I don't think she can see herself living in any of them."

"Oh." That's too bad.

"Hey, don't worry there are four more to go." What if she doesn't like any of them? My plan would all be disarrayed. Then I'll have to spend another god knows how long to come up with something else. Please, don't let this plan be screwed. 

"Also, you aren't giving her grief about hanging out with me and not you."

"What?"

"Donna's wondering what's got into you. You know, not making a fuss and whining like you usually do when she has to leave you longer than ten minutes." 

"Hey, I don't whine or fuss. Why does she think it's weird? I'm a reasonable man." CJ looks like she's going to explode laughing. Damn her.

"Reasonable Joshua? You didn't let her have a life for years. You complain when she wants to go home at 9pm."

"Well, that's coz I was preventing her from dating anyone else which I don't need to do anymore." Did I say that out load? I did, didn't I?

CJ's starring again. This is not good.

"I better get back to work. Busy, busy…as I'm sure you are too." Please don't kill me!

"You're lucky she's happy now or your knee caps would be in deep shit." Thank god.

TBC…………


	23. Part 23

Part 23

I've been having quite a hectic week. I decided to go engagement ring shopping. Only the shops are all closed by the time I get off work and it's hard to give Donna a reason why I'm away considering she keeps my schedule. Which is why I have resorted to internet shopping. CJ had given me some good websites of jewelry stores that are in DC. I haven't made a final choice, but I have a clue on what kind of ring I want. I think I'll show them to CJ later today when Donna's goes out to get a haircut. 

"CJ, could you come over to my office." I say popping my head into her office.

She follows me. I point at the computer screen to show her the rings I've had an eye on.

"These?" 

"Yeah, what do you think?" She's still studying the rings as she clicks on all my bookmarks.

"Ermmm…" That's not good.

"There could be room for improvements." She hates them.

"They are awful aren't they?" I let out a big sigh.

"Well I wouldn't say awful, as much as completely not in style and way to gaudy." That's the same as awful I'm guessing.

"Great. I suck at this."

"Josh, you are a guy. You have no sense of fashion and style. Look, I have a friend who does these sorts of stuff. She helps people pick out clothes and other fashion accessories. I'll give you her number and you can tell her roughly what you are looking for, okay?" CJ's so resourceful.

"Wow, you just know where to get help for anything, don't you?"

"Yes, I have very diverse contacts." I'll say.

"CJ, in case I haven't mentioned it, thank you for everything. All that you have done for Donna and me….just when I think I can stop bugging you, there's just something else that comes up that I can't handle by myself."

"I'm happy to do it Josh. Really." CJ leaves my office.

************************************************************************

This had been a good week. Josh seemed a little stressed and unfocused but he'll be fine. I think it's just because he has to finally settle the education bill by Monday. 

CJ and I are leaving for the day in a while. Josh wasn't too happy when I told him we're going on Friday evening. He wanted to leave early as well and have a nice dinner with me. It was so sweet. We decided to have a late dinner as usual. We haven't gone out together in ages. It doesn't really matter to us as we both are so content just being with each other. It doesn't matter where we go or what we do. 

"Joshua, I'm leaving now. I'll see you at home." I love calling his place 'home' and it being true. I've tried redecorating it but I haven't had the time to do much of a good job. I'm enjoying the bath though. 

"What? Now? You're leaving me now?" Here comes the whininess. I shouldn't have questioned my luck when he didn't make a fuss the last times.

"Josh, I told you days ago. I'll give you a call once I'm done and meet you at the restaurant. I've done everything you need me to for today and you can start on some work for tomorrow." Josh is silent. Get over it!

"Fine, have fun. I'll see you later." I quickly peck his cheek which brought a beautiful smile on his face. I can never get over those godforsaken dimples. 

"Okie dokie, house number four, ladies." Tina is already waiting in front of the house. 

Woah, gorgeous!! The red brick look is simply marvelous.

"Wow, this house looks so beautiful." 

"Yeah, I can see that." CJ agrees with me. 

It has this glorious entrance with such gorgeous plants. They were like bushes with little red and purple flowers on them. The house is sort of flanked by two huge trees. I don't know what tree it is, but it has sort of an autumn feel to it.

"This home also has a Craftman style to it. Come on in." We started to enter in the home but I keep looking at the entrance. I noticed a pair of adorable lamps near the very outside.

"Oh, my lord!!!" I gasp to see the most gorgeous flight of stairs towards the right when I enter the house. 

"What a stunning staircase? The design on the sides, it's so wow!" 

"Really?" CJ looks just as delighted as me.  

"Yes. This is a double-open, free-standing staircase with all-custom welded iron panels and custom oak handrail. The chandelier complements these stairs, wouldn't you say?"

"I'll say. That is simple so elegant." The look up to see what Tina was talking about. The chandelier had a dark color, sort of like the handle on the stairs. It had lights mimicking candle lights on it. That just makes it so much more striking than other types chandeliers I've seen. 

"Yes, let's move on to the living room." 

"Oh wow!" The living room is magnificent. 

"I'm glad you like it. This room has a wild-berry forest like theme to it." There were unique forest fruits decorated around the place. The fireplace was surrounded with large pebble-like stones. There's a fine-looking piece of art above the fire place. It looks modern yet authentic. 

"Oh, you like the pebbles?" I nod enthusiastically to CJ who sees me feeling the pebbled wall.

"They are very unique I have to say. The previous owners were business people from Sweden. They had very unique taste and were really into decorating I was told."

"Oh, I see." CJ answers Tina. 

"I love the furniture as well. They really fit into the theme." I say noticing the couches and the coffee table. 

We head to the kitchen and just when I thought it can't get more remarkable, I was proved wrong. 

"Oh, this is the most perfect kitchen I've ever seen!"

"Your friend is getting more and more excited with this house." I just smile hearing Tina talk to CJ. 

"Oh, this kitchen has a natural pine finish. The geometrically styled wall-covering softens the formal elements of this kitchen. As you can see here the trim moldings and leaded glass doors add richness to its style."

"It feels so cozy and just the right size. Wouldn't it be absolutely amazing to be able to cook here?"

"Well, I'm not a great fan of cooking but it's so great that you like it." I turn to see CJ beaming away. Why does it matter if I like it? Well, maybe she's relying on what I feel to pick a house.

The kitchen has a much lighter color than the entrance and the living room. I think that's just wonderful and gives it a more homely feeling. The windows were big and are dome shaped at the top. There's just the right amount of sunlight coming in. I do believe kitchens need a lot of light. 

The dining room was absolutely striking. It also had a grand chandelier right above the middle of the table. The furniture were dark reddish brown. There was a huge see through cabinet where place settings can be displayed. It was simple lavishing. 

"Alright ladies, this is the downstairs guest bedroom.  This room has a true architectural appeal with the generously proportioned bed posts with fluting that are carved of white oak, finished in a mellow gold tone. The room is softened by the sheer white drapery gracing the oval bronze finished canopy ring above the bed. There's an attached bathroom to this guest room."

"This room is so sweet. Boy, the previous owners did go through a lot of trouble to decorate this place. They must have put so much effort and time into this." 

"I know. I love the bedpost and the drapery." CJ says to me. I nod agreeing with her. The past owners must be very design conscious people. 

We walk up the staircase and I really am excited about what's coming next. 

"There are four bedrooms, two full bathrooms and an office room which could be used as a study room." 

We look at one of bedroom and the office room. They were both simple and well equipped especially the office room which is very suiting I think. 

"Oh, how come these two bedrooms are not furnished?" I walk in to notice two empty rooms adjacent to each other.

"Well, they are meant to be the children's room. The former owners said they kept changing these rooms as the kids kept growing. They felt children should be able to express themselves with the appearance of their rooms. All children are different in personality and age wise so they assumed it would be best if the new owners decorate these rooms themselves." That makes so much sense. 

"They gave a lot of thought to this house, haven't they? They must have loved it so much." I think they want the new owners to love the house and feel it just as much as they did. Oh, how lovely it would be to live in a house like this. I could fall in love with this house……that is if I already haven't.

"And this is the master bedroom." I think my jaw just dropped.

"Splendid! Absolutely alluring!" 

"Calm down Donna. It's just a bedroom."

"CJ, look at it, the shape is awesome and those windows and drapes. The fireplace is gorgeous!" I think CJ thinks I've lost my mind. But who cares!

"Yes, this master suite is graced with  barrel-vault ceiling, a see-through fireplace, and a deck. The cabinet above the fireplace is suited for a flat screen television."

"Oh, I've always wanted one of those!" There are different sizes of candle stick holders above the fireplace just making the whole area look so charming.

"You know what would be super? Silk sheets with mink blankets on that bed. Ooo…and fluffy pillows, potpourri smelling fluffy pillows. Many of them!!"

"Please excuse her Tina, she just lost control of herself." CJ tells Tina. Like I said, I don't care. This is the most incredible place I've ever seen!

"Look at the fan!" I just noticed the fan above the bed which had four pretty lights on it.

"Donna, you haven't seen the best part yet."

"I haven't?" No way.

"I saved the best for last. Come on!" I open my eyes wide and look at CJ. We excitedly follow Tina. 

"This is the most one-of-a-kind master bath you would have ever seen. It has a romantic French theme." 

"I'm lost for words."

"Me too. This is like nothing I've ever seen before." CJ says as she walks in.

There is such a unique shower place. It's circular and has a wooden surrounding. There are long floating white sheer curtains around the shower and windows.

"Yes, I told you. This is a large custom-made circular shower which is an 18th century French design. The steps on either side of the unit is to create a raised area for the sink, toilet and bath." 

I turn to look at the bath which was at the far end. Goodness!

"Wicked!" CJ exclaims.

"Indeed. If you'll come here you can see a whole lot of space around the bath. This Jacuzzi bath is sunken in, increasing the feeling of space and order. There's all these space you can decorate with unique items or maybe candles and other bath aroma therapy products. It would be perfect especially for us working women."

"Amen to that." 

"You said it, CJ."

"You know what sweet scented plant would be perfect to add to the romantic French feel of this bathroom?" Tina says.

"Lavender." Tina and I say at the same time. CJ looks at us funnily.

"Exactly. It would soften the edges of the units and terracotta tiles." 

"Well, I just thought it would fit in lovely…but if the plant would do that too, that's great as well." 

We walked around some more looking at every detail of the house.

"This house must cost a fortune though right?" I ask Tina.

"Actually, no. It costs just about the same as the other houses….your brother did give a price range and it fits." Tina looks towards CJ.

"But it's so unique and designed in detail." I continue.

"Yes, the owners are very well-to-so business people. They wanted the house to be sold as quickly as possible. They want in maintained well. Leaving it unoccupied would defeat that purpose." Oh, how they must have loved this house. I can actually feel the love put into making this house so charming. 

"Oh, Ceej, do we have to leave?!" 

"Donna, yes we do. Your boyfriend would have my head if I don't deliver you to him soon. Aren't you guys going out for dinner?" Dinner! Josh! I completely forgot.

"Ooops, I forgot. Funny, he didn't even call me." 

"Oh, he's probably wrapped up with something new he can screw up." That's my Josh. 

"Alright, I guess we'll have to leave." I say droopily.

CJ sent me to the Italian restaurant I was supposed to meet Josh. I gave him a call but I'd doubt he'll be there on time. I walk in and ask for my reservation.

"My, my. As wonders never sees. Hello Josh, you're actually on time." 

Josh gets up and pulls out a seat for me. Being gentlemanly as well. There's a first for everything.

"Actually I've been sitting here for five whole minutes waiting for you."

"Five minutes? I'm so sorry to put you through the torture of waiting for me for five whole minutes Joshua." I mock and he glares at me. It's fun annoying Josh you know.

"Let's order. I'm starved." We order our food and drinks.

"So, how was it today?"

"Oh, you would never believe it!" I stop myself. I shouldn't talk about this house. I wouldn't be able to stop. Everything is so perfect with me and Josh finally, the last thing I need is for Josh to think I'm hinting on moving things faster with our relationship. It'll just mess his mind. 

"What is it?" 

"Oh, CJ almost hit a possum with her car today." What? I couldn't think of anything else.

Josh looks a little disappointed. Why in the world would he?

"Were…were you guys alright?" Oh, he's just worried about us.

"Oh yes, it was just weird seeing a possum in the middle of the street in DC." Note to self, inform CJ about incident with possum.

The dinner was delicious and Josh and I had a lot of fun. It's nice to do these things once in a while. 

CJ and I have another appointment with Tina tomorrow morning at 9am.

This house was pretty nice as well. It was somewhat similar to the second house we saw. 

"So, what do you think?" CJ asks me at the end of our tour.

"It's nice, practical, very in order." 

"Well, that's rather different from the impression you got from yesterday's house."

"What can I say? I don't think anything can compare any house to that one from now on. You probably can't rely on me to make a good decision anymore." I smile at CJ. She gives me a huge grin as well.

"So, you think your brother would like that house yesterday?"

"Well, actually I don't think so. He's a more practical kind of guy. So is his wife." 

"Oh." Why do I feel kinda happy? It's not like the house is going to wait for me. I should want CJ's brother to buy that house. At least I'll have a chance to see it again. But somehow I'm a little glad. 

CJ and I say our goodbyes to Tina. We are going to the last two houses tomorrow morning and on Monday lunch time. Then the house hunting would be over. I think I'll be missing it. 

"So, you really loved that house yesterday, didn't you?" 

"Uh huh. I just got the most indescribable feeling when I saw it even just from the outside. Wouldn't you love to live in a home like that CJ?"

"Yeah, sure." She's clearly not as enthusiastic about that house as I am. Well, maybe it's just my kind of taste. I didn't even know I had a feel for houses. 

"It's really weird, I've never had this kind of feeling looking at any physical thing. I even almost told Josh about the house but I stopped myself."

"What? Why did you do that?"

"Oh, we just moved in together. I don't want him to freak out about me getting so excited house hunting. He might think I'm putting ideas into his head. Plus, we only just started sleeping together." Did I say that out loud?

Indeed I did. CJ's smiling away with her mouth wide open and she's looking at me and at the road alternately. It probably wasn't the best idea to share this with her while she's driving.

"When? How did it happen?"

"Right, I'm going to give you the full detailed description." I joke.

"Come one, just tell me a little bit. Are you alright now? With the…."

"Yeah, it seemed to have completely disappeared. I don't really know how but I read this letter from one of the victims…I think it had a lot to do with it. I didn't show Josh or any of you guys that particular letter. I actually carry it with me, reading it now and then. Here, you can read it in the office." I take out Marissa's letter and place it in CJ's bag.

"Oh, that's wonderful. So, was it good?" She's not going to let this go, is she?

"It was..ah…heavenly. It was the best I've ever had or ever will. It was mind-blowing. He was so…" 

"Okay, I should stop you right there. Don't want a mental scare."

"Suit yourself." I grin to the thought of making love to Josh.

"That good, huh? I knew I should have jumped him myself when I had the chance." We both laugh hysterically at that.

TO BE CONTINUED…………………...Wanna see the house Donna fell in love with? Go to :

There are more photos in the "more pics" folder. E-mail me if you have any trouble with it.


	24. Part 24

Part 24

"Josh Lyman, just the man I wanted to see. Come to my office." I follow CJ through the connecting door to her office from mine.

"How's it going? You and Donna came back earlier than expected." It's past noon on Saturday. Donna and CJ just finished looking at the fifth house.

"Boy, do I have some good news for you or what!" Good news? I'm always up for that.

"What it is?"

"She found the house. It's the one in Madlyn Avenue. I haven't seen anyone go bananas over a house like she did." That's amazing!

"Really? Are you sure? Don't you have more houses to go to?"

"Yeah, just two more. Trust me, this is her dream house. You should get the paperwork started."

"Well, maybe I'll wait till she sees the last two houses."

"Josh, she was imagining the bed with silk sheets, mink blankets and potpourri scented fluffy pillows! She can't stop thinking of anything else. I've never been more sure about anything else in my life…… Look, if she changes her mind, if I'm sure she won't, you'll be my first call. Just get the paperwork started so it wouldn't take too long." 

I break into a smile. This is absolutely brilliant! My plan has worked. It's actually going to happen. I'm actually going to ask Donna to marry me. Of course, I have to get the ring first.

"Thank you so much, CJ. I'll call Tina right away. Tina's been really great with this whole facade."

"Yeah I know. She didn't make the tiniest stumble. Hey, so how's the ring shopping? Did you call Shawna?" 

"Oh yeah, I did. She was really cool about it. She asked me a whole lot about Donna and her style. I could describe how Donna looks but I really didn't know how to explain what sort of clothes she wears. I mean she looks great in anything she wears, which is all I said to Shawna. Also, that she should call you so you can tell her about Donna's style." I give a pleading smile to CJ, hoping she wouldn't mind.

"Fine." She sighs.

"You're the best. CJ!"

It turned out that Donna didn't like the house they visited on Sunday.  CJ said it was a perfectly beautiful house but Donna didn't have the slightest bit of reaction like when she saw the other one. The two of them have now gone to visit the last house. I'm getting increasingly excited about this. I myself haven't seen the house I'm going to buy. Tina said she'll take me there tomorrow lunch time. I'll have to think of a way to mislead Donna about my lunch plans.

"Josh, are you meeting the teacher's incentives people today or tomorrow?"

"Hey Sam. I'm not sure. Donna has my schedule. She's gone out to lunch. She'll be back around 2.30" 

"Wow, you're giving her a two hour lunch break? Have you gone soft on her Josh?" Why does everyone think I work Donna too hard?

"She had to go somewhere with CJ. You wanna have lunch in my office? I see you holding your lunch."

"Sure…. Hey, we haven't done this awhile." Sam takes a seat opposite me while I grab the lunch Donna got for me. 

"Done what?"

"Had lunch together. Or anything else for that matter." He's right. We haven't spent any time together since McCain got caught. 

"I know. We should do something soon."

"Yeah, how about Friday night? We all could go grab a drink." Sam suggests.

We could, except that I was planning to propose to Donna either on Friday or Saturday depending on when I get the ring. Tina said the house should be ours by Thursday once I sign the papers. Shawna is bringing a selection of rings tomorrow to CJ's office. I was rather impressed that Shawna was willing to bring all that jewelry here. CJ says it's normal for stylists bring to clothes and accessories to potential buyers especially if their famous. CJ says this is one of the perks of being Press Secretary.

"Or not." Oh, I forgot Sam was here. He's going to feel like I'm ditching him again. He's helped us so much, I owe him more than that.

"Sam, I need to tell you something." 

"What is it?" Sam's getting worried. I think that has become his first reaction to everything.

"Don't worry, it's something good……. I'm going to ask Donna to marry me." 

"Oh, that's sooo great!!!" He drops his lunch and gives me a hug.

I go on explaining how I'm going to propose and what's been going on.

"Wow, who would have thought you could come up with something like this without my help. I'm really impressed Josh. So, they are out now looking at the last house?" I nod at him.

"Cool." The phone is ringing.

"Josh Lyman."

"Josh, it's Detective Riedel here." 

"Oh, hello Detective. How are you?" I look at Sam nervously and he mirrors it.

"I'm got some news for you. McCain's sentencing date is set. It's this Friday 10am."

"This Friday? It's just been a month since he pleaded guilty." Sam's looking more and more nervous.

"Yeah, like I said before…we had some external pressures." Oh, right. 

"Ah well, thanks for letting me know."

"You all could be there if you want." 

"We'll think about it. See how things go first." 

"Alright then, give me a call if you need any more information." 

"Thank you." I put down the phone and tell Sam what the detective told me. 

"So, do you want to go?" 

"I don't know. I have to talk to Donna first. But I think it's a bad idea if any of us go there. We would get recognized. Plus with CJ finally settling things with that reporter, I don't want to stir things up again."

"I agree. You should talk to Donna first though." I nod.

CJ managed to make a real deal with the reporter. Actually Jane was the one who made it happen. The guy was an investigative reporter and Jane gave him one of her big stories in exchange for him to let go of this one.  Jane said she knows of him and he should be trustworthy enough to not go back from his word. 

"Hi Josh we're back. Oh, hey Sam." Donna walks into my office with CJ behind her. CJ gives me a thumbs up sign. Excellent, I can sign those papers now!

Sam and I told them about the call from Detective Riedel. We all decided it would be a bad move to any of us to show up there. Donna said she didn't want to face the guy anymore anyway. 

"I'll make sure we'll be informed as soon as he gets sentenced." CJ mentions as they all leave my office. 

I stop Donna and close the door behind us.

"Are you alright?" I place my hand on her arm.

"Yes, it's sooner than expected but I'm fine. It's better this way, it'll be over and done with."

"I had assumed you would have wanted to be there. See it all end."

"I did see it Josh. When we caught him, it ended there. I'll be fine, I promise. Now get back to work." 

She amazes me with her strength. Her positive optimistic attitude is back on full force. 

CJ managed to get Shawna to bring the rings on Wednesday. Sam is taking Donna out to lunch to prevent her from getting a clue about any of this.

 "Josh, Donna gone to lunch?"

"Yeah, CJ. She and Sam just left a couple of minutes ago."

"Great. Shawna's in my office." I follow CJ into her office. 

"Shawna, this is Josh Lyman." 

"Nice to meet you Mr. Lyman." Shawna is an attractive Latino woman probably in her mid-thirties.

"Call me Josh."

"Alright Josh, we better get to business. We don't that have as much time as it is." Well, if she says so.

"Here are the selection I've picked. There are about seven here that I think would fit perfectly with your bride." Sure, why not? You've never met my bride yet you know what would fit her perfectly.

"I brought an extra five rings which I don't particular love but you might." Oh, now she knows what I would like.

She displays the first few rings explaining the cuts and design of them. I have no clue what she's talking so I just nod pretending to listen. However I do inspect the rings carefully. I have no idea what I'm looking for particularly though.

"Okay, here are the rest of the three rings that I think are just splendid." Shawna displays three rings in front of me. 

The first one looks really pretty. Maybe I should ask CJ her opinion. I have no clue which looks better than the other. 

I continue looking at the next two. Wow! The middle one just screams out at me.

"Tell me more about this ring."

"Oh, this has two pear-shaped sapphires, set in platinum. The heart shaped diamond centre just makes the whole ring look so captivating yet contemporary. However, my favorite feature is the jewelry box which is as you can see, not at all like regular ones."

That's the one! I can so see myself placing that ring on Donna's finger and her wearing it for the rest of her life. 

"Let me see….Oh wow, Donna would love this. She loves royal blue. She would go gaga over this sapphire. And the heart, it's so sweet. So Donna." 

"I think this is the one, CJ. No, I know this is the one." 

"Do you still want to look at the rest? You seem completely taken by this ring, which I think is an excellent choice." Of course you would say that. 

"No, I definitely am picking this."

I can't wait to place this ring on her……assuming she says yes. 

I signed a check and gave it to Shawna. I continued to stare at the ring after Shawna left. 

"It's perfect Josh. Donna would be ecstatic. So, you using your inheritance for this ring as well?"

"No, CJ. I have to buy her engagement ring with my own money. It wouldn't feel right otherwise. It's so worth it though, isn't it?" 

"She's so worth it, Josh. So, when are you going to ask her?"

"Well, I planned to on Friday, but the sentencing is that morning. I don't know what's going to happen or how Donna would be after that. So, I'm going to do it on Saturday. The paper work for the house will go through by Thursday."

"So, this is it huh? I can't begin to tell you how excited I am. I don't think I can be patient enough to wait. Let me know exactly what time you're going to propose. I'm going to call you right after that." 

"Well, it probably wouldn't be a good idea if she says no."

"She's not going to say no." CJ switches her voice to complete seriousness.

"Let's not be too sure of that."

"Well, I'm sure of it. I'll give you an extra twenty minutes after you propose and then I will definitely call." No point in arguing with her. 

************************************************************************

 I meant what I said to Josh. I do feel that it all ended that day we caught him. I didn't quiet feel it right then, but I do now. 

I'm not the slightest bit nervous about the sentencing which is about to happen in about twenty minutes. Okay, maybe I'm exaggerating a tiny bit. I do have a slight apprehensive feeling which is causing my stomach to churn. 

Josh keeps checking up on me even though he's got a whole load of work to attend to. Work in the White House never waits for anyone. He's been really sweet this whole week. A little to sweet if you ask me. I can't wait for all of this to be over so he would go back to his ego-centric self. 

"Donna, get Josh and come into my office, quick." CJ calls for me. This is it. 

"Josh, it's time." I bring Josh to CJ's office. He holds my hand tight even though we are technically not supposed to show affection in the office. A rule which we have broken several number of times.

I see Sam and Toby already standing there nervously while CJ reaches for her phone which was kept on hold.

"I'm back….Yeah, they are all here…uh huh…uh huh…" This is nerve-wrecking. CJ has a intense expression on her face. I grip on to Josh's hand even more tightly.

"Oh?" I think I let out a huge sigh when CJ breaks into a grin.

"Thank you so much for calling Jane. You made my day…yeah I'll tell them. See you."

"What is it? I'm standing at the edge of my toe here." I have a feeling Josh means that literally. 

"He's sentenced to life in prison with no parole." 

"Oh." That's all I can manage to get out. My prayers have been answered. All those women who have suffered as I did are going to sleep a whole lot more peacefully from now on. 

They all turn towards me. 

"That's all you can say? This is absolute fantastic!" Sam walks over to me and gives me big hug. 

"That's enough Sam." I giggle as Josh pulls Sam away from me and hugs me instead. We share a quick kiss before I hug CJ and Toby.

"It's over Donna." Toby whispers in my ear before he pulls away. He's truly right this time. It is over. Finito.

***********************************************************************

Donna has been smiling as of 10.30am yesterday. I think she hadn't had such a peaceful night's sleep like last night in ages. I, on the other hand couldn't sleep a wink. I've been obsessing about how tonight is going to turn out. I mean, this is the sole most important thing I'm ever going to do in my life. 

Sam and I dropped by at the house earlier today and added a few more surprises for Donna. The both of us were very stunned to see the house. I didn't have time to visit the house earlier this week so this was my first time laying eyes at this house that I'm going to live in for the rest of my life. I absolutely adored it. Donna has fantastic taste. I was certain I would love it if Donna did and I was right. However, I think Sam was more smitten by the house than I was. I had to drag him out of it. He knows a whole lot about furniture and walls and stuff. Where does this man get the time to learn all this?

I should probably tell Donna I'm going to take her someplace special tonight. I'm nervous already and I should calm down my nerves so Donna wouldn't try to read into it.

"Donnatella, could I see you for a moment." I actually get up from my seat and call her from the door. I'm guessing bellowing wouldn't be the best option if I'm planning to ask her to marry me in a few hours.

"Ah, Josh…how ever so polite of you not to bellow. See, isn't this more pleasant for everybody?" Donna enters my office.

"Well, don't get used to it. What do you say if I let you get off a little early today?"

"What's the catch?" 

"Oh I'm wounded." I place my hand on my chest and pretend to be in pain. 

"Oh, save the drama. What do you need?"

"Donna, I want to take you out tonight, that's all. I thought you could go home a while and I don't know…do what you girls do before you go out." She smiles a little bit. I think she's not assuming I have an ulterior motive anymore.

"Where are we going?" She sounds perky and all excited.

"Oh, it's a surprise." 

"Well, I wouldn't know what to wear so you might as well tell me." Like hell!

"You can wear anything you want." 

"That's not useful Josh. A girl needs to know more than that." 

"Wear something you're comfortable in. You'll look beautiful in anything you wear Donna, it really doesn't matter."

She gives me a pouty smile, the kind she gives when she thinks I'm being sweet. 

"Ok, if you say so. But I don't have my car."

"Oh, I'm coming home with you as well."

"Oh, fabulous!"

Donna and I go home and we both took showers and got ready. We had a light dinner at my place. I haven't had dinner this early in ages. 

"So, where are we going?" Donna asks as we approach my car.

"Nice try missy."

"Oh, come one…just a tiny clue." I have to stay strong. I could break just looking at her face.

"No way. In fact, I've got something else here for you." I take a blindfold from my dashboard.

"What? You are going to blindfold me? What if you kidnap me or something? How am I going to give descriptions to the police?" Funny, Donna. Real funny.

"Oh, just suck it up." I tie the blindfold around her eyes and she surprisingly didn't flinch.

"This better me good Joshua." Oh, trust me…it can't get any better.

We finally reach the house and I park my car. I think my heart could explode right about now.

I help Donna get out of the car. "Josh, you're hands are freezing. You're shaking. Are there extra gloves in your car?" Look at her, she is blindfolded and she's worrying about my cold hands. I don't need gloves. My shaky hands are not due to the cold, it's because I'm kind of freaking out. 

"I'm alright Donna. Come one." I guide her slowly to the front door.

"You're making me rather nervous you know?" She's nervous? Ha! I bet it's incomparable to what I'm feeling.

"Don't worry. We're here now." I slowly open the door with the keys trying my best not to make the slightest sound. I am successful.

"Careful, there's a step here." Donna steps in still holding on to me really tight. 

I slowly shut the door and turn on the twinkle lights which are one of the things Sam and I put up today.

TBC……Wanna see the ring Josh chose? Go to: 

It's in the "more pics" folder. E-mail me if you have any trouble with it. 


	25. Part 25

Part 25

I'm so curious as to where Josh has brought me. I'm kind of nervous as well but I don't know why. It can't be some place bad, that would just be plain silly. I tried to guess where he's taking me but I can't possibly think of anything. Oh well, it probably would be more fun if I don't have a clue anyway. 

"Alright, I'm going to open your blindfold now." Yay!

Josh opens my blindfold and I take a few seconds to let my eyes get readjusted. Let's see, where has he brought me too?

Wow!! There are beautiful white lights everywhere and flower petals on the floor and….. What the…..What? This is…Why has he? How could he possibly know? Okay, I'm completely confused now. I turn to look at Josh. He's smiling away while I think I look like I have a hot potato in my mouth. 

"Josh, what's going on? Why did you bring me here? How did you know about this house?"

"I bought this house." What?!

"What?!" What the heck is going on?

"I bought his house for us?" For us?

"How did you know about it?" How could he possibly….CJ!....Oh?! But why would she? 

"CJ told you?" 

"Come on. Follow me." My legs couldn't move but Josh pulls me with him. He goes up those magnificent staircase which now I can see is filled with white and red rose petals. Did he actually buy this house? THIS house? How could he possible afford it? 

"Josh, how could you afford this? You'd have to give an arm and a leg for it." 

"Shh." Josh places his finger on my lip. We are now at the top floor with my back leaning on the staircase railings to the side of the steps. Josh is in front of me. He owes me an explanation! I don't want him to buy this house just because CJ told him a loved it. That's so like him to do something completely out of his abilities just to make me happy. Does he think I need this? Does he not know I only need him?

"Josh, why did you do this? You don't…."

"Shh!!" Argh, again with the finger silencing me.

"Turn around, look down." Has he lost his mind? That's the only explanation. I should just amuse him and do as he says. I turn around and bend slightly over the railings to look down.

"What is it?" What does he want me to look at? Where does he…..oh…my…god! I can't breath.

The flower petals on the ground floor are arranged to spell out something. It says…MARRY ME !! Am I reading it right? There's got to be some mistake.

I should read it again….yeah, it definitely says MARRY ME. I hold on to the railing so I don't fall over which is all my brain has the capacity to think of. Okay, turn around Donna, you're going to have to eventually. 

I turn around as slow as humanly possible. Oh, god! I should have stayed facing the other way. This is a whole lot more than I can cope with. Josh is in front of me….down on one knee!! I hold on to the railings with one hand as I don't trust myself to stay in balance. I can't think….Work, brain…Work!!!

"I'm no Sam Seaborne or Toby Zeigler but here goes….Donnatella Moss, you are the only reason I get up in the morning. You are the only reason I genuinely smile everyday. When hot lead was shot through my body, you were the reason I wanted to fight to stay alive. You have made me happier than I could ever imagine and I want to dedicate every day of the rest of my life making you feel the way I do."

Oh my god…..I'm think I'm shaking like a leaf. I can feel my eyes filling with tears. I have to bite my bottom lip to stop in from quivering. 

"I want to have a family with you. I want to grow old with you. And I want to do all this in this wonderful home which I know you have completely fallen in love with and so have I. I want you to be mine forever and I, forever yours." Josh is reaching for his jacket pocket. 

It's a jewelry box. He's takes my right hand and places the box into my hand. Grip it Donna, otherwise it will fall! The box does not look like a usual jewelry box. This one looks like a gift box only made with metal. The box is silver while the metal made bow on it is gold in color.

"Open it." I look at him and then at the box. I dare not open it but somehow I manage to do it anyway.

I gasp. Dazzling!! Sapphires and a heart-shaped diamond!! Oh, it's just so beyond words!!

"So, what do you say? Will you marry me?" His deep brown beautiful eyes are looking directly into mine. 

I can't move anymore. I think I'm in shock. I still can't think properly. Focus Donna, the man you are crazy in love with for the longest time has asked you to marry him! Do I want to spend the rest of my life with him? Do I want to share my hopes and dreams, my ups and downs in time to come, with him and only him?

"Say something or I just might get an anxiety attack." Without a doubt, Joshua Lyman. I'll marry you without a doubt. 

I open my mouth to answer him but nothing comes out. I try again but I think my throat is completely dried out or just stuck.

"Donna?" I look into his eyes again and I could see the uncertainty and fear in his eyes. Oh, my sweet Joshua, do you think I could possibly say no to you?

I fold my lips in and tears start running down my cheeks. Damn my tear gland! I honestly thought I've had it under control now. Well now I have no hope of getting a word out.

I nod vigorously indicating 'yes' to Josh. I see his eyes light up with hope.

"Is that a yes?" I nod again.

"Oh, thank god!" He takes the ring box from my hand and slowly places the ring on my finger. 

I take my hand and cover my mouth as the waterworks just became a whole lot worse now. 

Josh kisses my palm and gets up. He gives me the warmest hug.

"Shh, don't cry my sweet Donnatella." He lets go of me and brings my face to look at his. He wipes away my tears and I finally get a grip on myself.

"I love you so much Josh. I can't believe you did all this. I would have said yes even if you asked me in…..in a dumpster." Josh laughs out really loud. I didn't mean it to be funny. 

I slowly smile at him. He continues laughing and lifts me of the ground.

"Woah!!" He twirls me around. 

"I'm going to marry Donnatella Moss!" I laugh as he puts my down and kisses me oh, so passionately. 

"How….how did you do all this? When could you have possibly bought a house without me knowing about it?" I say as I pull away from his kisses.

"I have my ways Donnatella….." He leans towards me again. This will have to wait until I get my answer.

"Josh, come on! I'm dying with confusion here." I smile at him.

"Well, if you must know…..CJ wasn't house hunting for her brother, she was doing it for me." 

"No way. It was all an act?" Now it makes sense why CJ kept asking me what I thought about the houses. No wonder she didn't even have any strong opinion on any of the houses and didn't bother to.

"I wanted you to be completely surprised. You're not mad are you?" Aw, look at his sweet face!

"No. I was absolutely flabbergasted though. Still am…but Josh how are you going to pay for this?" I neaten his collar and rub against the sides of his neck.

"Don't worry about it Donna."

"But I do. I don't want you to…."

"I used the money my dad left me."

"Oh." Did he use all his inheritance on a house I wanted?

"And left by my grandfather…..and some profit when my mom sold the house in Connecticut." He had to use all that money on one house?

"Did you use everything? Josh I don't need all this. You didn't have to spend all your inheritance for me."

"Donna, this is our house. The place we're going to live in for the rest of our lives. If I don't spend the money on this, what else is more important? Besides, I still have enough from that money to privately educated all our kids." Our kids? Oh, how incredible would that be?

"Donna, stop obsession about this. It is all more than fine. Trust me. Will you just enjoy the best moment of my life with me?" 

"If I must." I stretch my arms over his shoulders and he holds my waist with such possession. 

"I love you so much Joshua Lyman. You have made me so happy, you can't even begin to imagine. This was……. perfection. There's no way this could have been any better. So, this is actually our house?" I just wanted to make sure which evidently causes Josh to burst out laughing.

"Yes Donna, this is our house!!!" Josh shouts as he looks up still holding me. 

I press my body against him and kiss him with all the passion I have in me. I think I caught him by surprise. It took him a fraction of a second before responding to my kiss. 

Mmmm….mmmm…What the?!! 

"Wha..what's that?" 

"Josh, you're cell is ringing." Oh, I hope he doesn't have to go.

"Oh, right." He fumbles to reach his cell phone from his pocket.

************************************************************************

Who the heck is calling me? Who the heck is running my perfect moment with Donna?!

"Hello."

"Hi, it's me!" It's CJ. Damn it, I should have forbid her to call me when she said she would.

"What can I do for you?" Nothing I hope.

"What happened you dope?! Did she say yes?"

"CJ, could you possibly give me a break for once?"

"You owe me! You owe me big and you know it!" She's right. Oh what the hell.

"Yes."

"Yes what?"

"Yes! She said yes, CJ. Now could you leave me alone?!" 

Is that a knock at the door? I look at Donna and I shrug my shoulders at her confusion. Who in the world could possibly be at the door?

"Ahhhh, that's so amazing!!!! I'm sooo happy!!" I hear CJ shout through the phone although I'm not quite listening to her.

Donna and I get to the door. "Who could it be?" 

"Don't look at me. I'm as clueless as you are." I respond to Donna's bemusement.

She points at me to open the door and I do as she wishes.

"CONGRATULATIONS!!!

"MAZEL TOV!!" 

"Oh my god, you guys!!" Donna exclaims when we see all our friends at the door. All of them.

Sam, CJ, Toby, Charlie, Margaret, Ginger, Bonnie and even Jane are here. We spend some time hugging and receiving congrats from everyone. The women are squealing away as they grab Donna's hand to look at her ring. They are all talking in very high pitch making it impossible for the rest of us to understand. 

"We bring you champagne!" Sam says as he and Charlie pull out glasses and start serving.

"You better have if you're going to barge in on our personal moment like this. So, who was the blabber mouth? Sam, CJ or Charlie? I'm guessing Sam."

"Hey!" I think I hit Sam's nerve there.

"Well, it was me and Sam. We couldn't contain ourselves and wanted to celebrate with you guys as soon as possible." CJ explains.

"Ah, so you told everyone. What is Donna said no?!" I ask, only half joking.

"Josh, look at this place! If Donna was crazy enough to say no, hey I would have gladly jumped in her place." We all laugh at CJ. 

"Ok everyone has their glass? Great! I can start with the toast. I've been preparing this for the last few days." 

"Let's just hope you didn't forget to put in punctuations, Sam." We laugh at what Toby says.

Donna comes over towards me as the women finally let go of her. I place arm around her waist and pull her to me. Sam raises his glass and starts to speak

"Josh, you can imagine how flabbergasted we all are that you finally got a clue!" 

"Thanks Sam." Everyone laughs at my expense of course. 

"But seriously, you and Donna have gone through an incredibly long and hard road to get to where you are now. We have all watched you two together and know that no one else are more perfectly suited for each other as the two of you are. You found each other in the midst of all the madness that comes with running the country. We all envy you and can only hope that we would find the purest kind of love like you two have. I couldn't be happier that you have finally found your way to this point which is all that matters in the end. To Josh and Donna, may you relish this exceptionally blessed journey together."

"To Josh and Donna." Everyone says as we raise our glasses. 

"Sam, that was so lovely. Thank you so much." Donna says to Sam as everyone else gets into their own conversations. 

"I'm just so glad I had a chance to do this." Donna gives Sam a hug. 

"Sam, I'm speechless. I've hear the President's speeches before but this was….I don't think I've heard anything that touched me this much. It was so sweet." Jane joins the three of us as she places her hand on Sam's arm.

Donna and I suppress our grins when we see Sam turn ten shades more red. 

"Well, why don't Donna and I give you some privacy?" I say causing Donna to swat me on the arm as I pull her away from Sam and Jane. 

"Who's cell phone is that? Turn down the music." I turn to see Toby instructing Ginger to turn the volume of the CD player.

We all check our cell phones. Oh, looks like it's mine.

"It's mine, guys. It's from the office." I say as I look at the number appearing on my cell. Everyone groaned at that, hoping our fun won't be cut short.

"Josh Lyman." 

"Josh, it's Leo." I hope nothing is wrong. I'd hate it if anything was going to ruin this for me.

"So, did she say yes?" For crying out loud, they told Leo too?

"Ah, I see they told you too. Donna said yes." Everyone else started laughing and snickering at what I just said.

"That poor girl." I laugh at Leo. 

"Congratulation, son. I couldn't be more proud of you. She's the perfect one for you." It means a lot coming from Leo. It sort of feels like that was coming from my dad. 

"Thank you Leo. That means a lot to me." I say softly so the others won't hear it. 

"There's someone else who'd like to congratulate you. Hold on." Great, who else did the guys share this information with?

"Josh?" Of course, how could I forget?

"Good evening, Mr. President." 

"You told the President?!" I ask in a loud whisper to Sam and CJ who are looking ever so innocent. 

"Josh, Leo just shared the great news. I couldn't be happier. I'm so glad I was a little responsible for this." He's not going to let that go anytime soon, is he?

"Yes sir. I owe you one."

"It's my pleasure Josh. My congratulations to you. Would you mind if I have a word with your beautiful bride-to-be?"

I signal Donna to come get the phone from me.

"Sure Sir. Here she is."

************************************************************************

Who would have thought that the President of the United States would call to congratulate me on my engagement. Especially less than an hour after I said yes.

"Good evening, Mr. President." 

"Hello, Donna. So, I hear you agreed to marry this fool named Josh Lyman." I laugh out loud. Sometimes it's hard to imagine, this is the same man who is the leader of the free world.

"Yes sir. What can I say? He stole my heart."

"Well, in that case, I couldn't be more pleased for you. Congratulations from me and Abbey. She wishes she could join your celebration but considering she's in Tokyo now, I don't think that's very likely." 

"Oh, thank you so much sir. And please convey my appreciation to Mrs. Bartlet as well. I'm so honored to receive this call from you sir."

"It's my pleasure. Hold on a second, Leo wants to talk to you." 

"Hello Donna." Wow, I've never felt this special in my entire lifetime!

"Hello Leo."

"You're in for a rough ride." These people crack me up.

"I'm looking forward to it, Leo."

"I know you are. You two deserve all the happiness in the world."

"Thank you Leo. Thank you so much for calling."

"No problem Donna. Now we should leave you to your celebration. We would be there but you know, problems with security and all." Imagine that!

"Oh, that's quite alright." I reply to Leo.

This whole night has been so surreal. I still think I'm going to wake up and this would all  be just a dream. I sure hope I'm wrong. 

CJ and I are taking the girls on a house tour while the guys are downstairs, I don't know doing what. I'm currently showing off my dream bath to the girls.

"Hey Donna, we've got a surprise for you." Bonnie says as she pulls out a gift wrapped box from her bag.

"Guys? You didn't have to." They are all so sweet. I unwrap the box excitedly.

"We know this is more suitable for your bachelorette party but we thought you should stay in this house just for tonight before you officially move in here. So you could use this tonight." Hmm, I wonder what Ginger is getting at.

"Woah!" It is a sexy black lingerie. The satin material feels so smooth. It is short with slim straps, lace trimmings and slits on either sides. 

"Well, we thought you'd enjoy it." Margaret says.

"I think I will. Thank you guys."

"Oh, you can thank us by telling us all the dirty details on Monday." CJ has to ask, doesn't she?

"Yeah, that's going to happen." 

"Also, I packed you some of your toiletries, perfume and breath mints and stuff. You know, just to make your night more pleasurable." CJ winks at me as she hands me the small bag she brought.

"Hey, these are all my stuff. How did you manage to go to my place?" 

"I have my ways Donna." She sure does.

The rest of the night was a blast. I'm so overwhelmed, in a good way. We finally said our goodbyes to the rest of the gang as they all leave a few at a time.

"Ah, finally we are alone." Josh shuts the door and comes towards me 

"I know." I lean on him and hug him as I place my head on his chest. I'm so glad I can be finally alone with him again not that I didn't totally appreciate what the others did for us. They are all so thoughtful.

"So, I was thinking maybe we could spend the night here. Just for tonight,  before we start the big move."

"You so read my mind."

We head to the bedroom with me still leaning my head on his chest. I could stay like this forever.

"I'm going to the bathroom to freshen up. CJ mysteriously packed a bunch of my stuff for me." I smile at Josh as I know he has something to do with it. 

I touch up my make up and spray perfume on myself and chew some breath mints as I change into my new sexy lingerie. I hang around the bathroom a while just to marvel at how extravagant it is. I still cannot comprehend that this is all mine now. Mine and Josh's and our future children. Can life get any more perfect?

I step out the bathroom and just when I thought there could not possible be anymore surprises, I'm proven wrong. Josh had lit up the fireplace and all the candles above it. He also placed more candles around the room. I turn towards him 

Oh my god! The bed! It is spread with a beautiful maroon silk sheet and there are a bunch of square and rectangular pillows on it. 

"Josh! This is amazing! It's breathtaking." I walk towards the bed on which he was laying on. I touch the comforter which was partially spread on the bed. Ah, heavenly…it was mink!

************************************************************************

"Breathtaking? The room and the bed are breathtaking? You're the one who's breathtaking!" Donna looks so alluring and sexy with that little black silk lingerie. I have a feeling CJ had something to do with this. I should remember to thank her tomorrow. 

She climbs into the bed next to me. I pull her closer to me and I am able feel the silk material on her. It is an indescribable feeling!

"Ooo…these pillows smell like potpourri." She pulls the pillows and sniffs them as I try to kiss her. 

"Okay, maybe I shouldn't have done the bed thing." 

"CJ told you didn't she? Did you ask her to report back every detail that I uttered?"

"Yes." I lean towards her again to catch her lips. 

"Donna!!" She pushes me away again.

"Josh, I just wanted to say how much I love you. This has undoubtedly been the best day of my life. And I know there would be more incredible days like this as I will be spending them with you. Our relationship has been through such turmoil and you have been so supportive, patient and understanding towards me throughout everything. I want you to know how much I appreciate it. You make me feel so grateful and lucky despite everything that has happened to me. You mean the world to me and I can't wait to be your wife." 

I think I'm getting a little misty here. She's so amazing. No one has ever said such wonderful things to me before. 

"Donna, what I did was nothing compared to what you have done for me. I wouldn't have survived anything if it wasn't for you. The presidential campaign, Rosslyn, all of it. I wouldn't be alive to even experience this if it wasn't for you. If I had one purpose to be on this earth, it is to be with you. There's nothing more I need in my life now that I have you. I too cannot wait to be married to you, the most beautiful and remarkable person. I love you so damn much, Donatella Moss, aka future  Donnatella Moss-Lyman."

"I like the sound of that. In fact I love it." She places her magnificent body on top of me and kisses me with so much fervor.

Just when I thought life cannot get any more perfect….. Boy, was I wrong! 

THE END!!!

PS- Thank you all so much for reading my fic and giving me feedback. I'm so glad you all enjoyed the ride and I hope you love the ending as much as I loved writing it. I may write a sequel about the wedding later on. Would you guys like that? I'd love to get some feedback/reviews!!!

Also, Donna's black lingerie is on my photo album in the "more pics" folder. Go to :


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